Original link: https://kenengba.com/post/3781.html
In 3 months, a fall, I’ll reach the fabled most embarrassing Internet age – 35. It is a pity that it is more than enough to be better than the next. If you have enough strength in your heart, there may not be a place for you to make it. It is a pity that it is not moisturizing. It must be the state of many people at this age, especially the group of people who entered the Internet industry 10 years ago, including me.
I thought, I have to write something. People always want to leave something behind on a day they consider to be special—even though every day can actually be an ordinary day.
As for what to leave behind, it depends on how the person wants future others or future self to see themselves. Some people leave a photo, some people leave a poem, some people leave a sumptuous dinner for two, some people leave some secret entertainment, some people plan to leave a self-justifying story, some people plan to leave The next 5 years and 5 years.
I’m going to keep a motorcycle and have some fun.
A total of 4 people sent me a book called Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, 2 in paperback and 2 in hardcover after it became popular. Unfortunately, I didn’t even read it, because this book has nothing to do with maintenance at all. My motorcycle broke down and eventually needed to be repaired in the shop.
Seriously, I have been riding a motorcycle seriously in Beijing for 5 years, and I may have been riding a motorcycle for 10 years. By rude, I mean riding while I don’t have a legal license. The so-called Beijing B is not as good as Beijing A, Beijing A is better to ride stealthily, and stealing is worse than not stealing.
The 5 years of serious cycling are exactly the 5 years in which I became 1/2 without confusion. 5 years can change a lot of things, whether it’s the past 5 years or the next 5 years. 5 years can change a person’s perception of the surrounding, and can also change the surrounding’s perception of a person.
In the past 5 years, motorcycles have brought me a lot of changes.
I figured it out, there were at least 30 people who were introduced by me to get a motorcycle license and buy a car. But I didn’t charge them any agency fees, just as Luo Yonghao said, just be friends.
Yes, motorcycles are a great way to socialize.
Using motorcycles as Momo, I met many new friends. There are middle-aged men who run wild in the mountains, men who go to great lengths to convince their wives to let them ride, men and women who have experienced major trauma, and I think I can introduce them separately.
Wargo
Wargo also happens to be 35 years old this year. He is a man who loves freedom, and I am a man who manages himself with a schedule every day.
When we first met, fire and water were incompatible, he thought I was rigid, and I thought that if he didn’t make a plan, he would die sooner or later.
But sometimes people are very strange. You feel that this person is incompatible with you, and you still plan to be friends with him, or even travel together. I don’t know if it’s your subconscious wanting to have some of his characteristics, or whether middle-aged men are expecting something to happen when they are out of town.
We rode to Inner Mongolia together. We walked from the national road to the provincial road, from the provincial road to the township road, and from the township road to the no road. It was dark at this time, and the Gaode map showed that it knew nothing.
As someone who loves to plan, my anxiety comes out. Because things didn’t go the way I thought I would, I didn’t even know which way the front of my car was supposed to be pointing. At this time, I don’t care what will happen to us in the field at all, but worry about what will really happen.
Brother Wo said, “It’s okay, we continue to ride, there will always be a way, just follow me, I will direct it myself.”
It seemed that there was no other choice but to follow him.
As we walked, we all got bogged down in the sand—all fell—and sometimes walking with a man who was directing himself was not necessarily the right choice.
We all picked up the car and prepared to continue walking, because it was already past 10 o’clock in the evening, and we couldn’t find the way to the homestay, so we might need two people to warm each other on the grassland.
“Wait, don’t go, let’s lie down and look at the sky”
“Look at the sky, what is there to see, hurry up and go”
Brother Waugh didn’t care about my reply at all and lay down, and I had to lie down too.
I saw total darkness – no lights around.
I saw a star – it was trying to twinkle.
I’ve seen many stars – they’re also trying to twinkle, as if in a race to see who can shoot brightly from far away – even though they may not be shining themselves – by the star shooting it.
I saw the Milky Way—the Milky Way that was both familiar and unfamiliar.
I saw myself – a tiny Homo sapiens.
I see that going with the flow – a plan is a good thing, the result of a plan is what you want, it could be a location, it’s food, it’s a pile of money, it’s a status, it’s some power… I can make what I think is the perfect plan, But I don’t have full control over the implementation of the plan—even something as simple as your displacement plan from point A to point B.
Since you can’t fully control it, it’s better to try to accept the results that are out of control.
Anger and anxiety may not be because of what the result is, but because the result is different from what was expected. And looking at the difference between results and expectations determines my mood and response.
Thinking about it another way, losing control does not necessarily bring bad results. Planning and being out of control are not necessarily in conflict. Maybe I can look at out of control from a different angle – it may bring me a starry sky, and I can re-plan when it is out of control. Next, find balance in the out-of-control versus planning, and enjoy the outcome—no matter the outcome, there are always moments to enjoy.
“You’re right, take a sip,” said Wogo.
“Fuck, it’s obviously my inner drama, why did you hear it? DUI is illegal, you know?”
Aqu
Aqu also happens to be 35 years old this year.
Ah Qu is a motorcycle friend I know on the racing track, but he never rides a motorcycle into the arena – he always drives four wheels – He said that an accident occurs when driving four wheels, and usually he can leave the whole body, so that it is more decent when he dies .
As a person who also pursues speed, I followed him to get a four-wheeled racing driver’s license, and followed him off the track.
Unlike Aqu, I am poor. So I had to rent the little crappy car from the arena to play, and he bought his own car – with a lot of modifications, including various performance kits, sensors, and a GPS + laser timing device with a sensitivity of 0.001 .
“Men don’t usually say they’re fast, but I hope my next lap is within 1.22.3,” he told me.
He ran the track for 30 minutes straight. After getting down, start to see your lap speed for each lap, check the track of the car on the track, braking distance, throttle ratio, shift timing, etc. on the computer.
“OK, I see.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he put on his racing suit again and started his second test run.
After 15 minutes, he came back, although he was a little tired from the trembling of his arms. After all, he was 30 minutes last time, and this time it was only 15 minutes, so he must be tired.
But with a smile on his face, “I finally passed full throttle at Turn 6”, and then made a V-sign.
Ah Qu never competes, he only brushes the lap speed, and spends the same amount of time studying his own data at each stage, trying to improve the next time.
“There are people in the sky and there are people. I don’t like fighting. Once you like fighting, you will have countless enemies. Of course, you can get a sense of accomplishment from the result of defeating the enemy.
But I prefer to beat myself. I’m 35 this year, but I think my physical fitness is okay. I can still play for 30 minutes at a time. I don’t think my current experience and ability are lost to my 25-year-old self.
Every time I complete a lap, I will study my own line, and I will also consult other drivers and technicians. I believe that my abilities are limitless, and I believe that I can always find a way to increase the lap speed again in the summary – even if only Increase by 0.001 seconds.
Feeling that I have been making progress all the time, this feeling is so refreshing. “
“What are you trying to say is that Jacky Cheung’s “Progress a little bit more every day”?”
“Yes, it’s that song.”
Nini
Nini also happens to be 35 years old this year. She is a female knight.
Unlike many female knights, she doesn’t have long hair, but a dark red short hair, probably the color of Yagami’s hair. She often changes lipsticks of different colors, I don’t know what color number it is. , anyway, she said that every one suits her very well.
Although riding a 1000RR sports car, she never wears sexy hot pants. Instead, she puts on all the equipment every time and wraps herself tightly. Anyway, she thinks it is very sexy.
She rides fast, really fast. Whether it’s starting, top speed, or cornering speed, I can’t keep up with her. As a man, I had to say “I can’t” in front of her, and that kind of “I can’t”.
I was very curious, so I asked her in a Zhihu tone, what kind of experience is it like to ride a bicycle over 300 km/h?
“It’s the feeling of first love.”
“What does first love feel like?”
“It’s like riding a bike to 300km/h.”
I rolled her eyes at her, she raised her left eyebrow, I rolled her eyes again, and she picked me up, as if she had entered another infinite loop. Then she broke the cycle and continued:
“Actually, you can also ride to 300km/h, it’s not that you are not skilled, or that you are not brave enough, but that you don’t believe that you can reach 300.
Sometimes “belief” is a magical thing. I watched TVB before and said, “If you believe it or not, you don’t believe it”, which is actually the same thing.
If you want to reach 300, you must first believe that you can reach 300, and then practice repeatedly, practice your technique, practice your guts, and practice your right vision. “
She picked up her left eyebrow again, and it was obvious that her eyebrows had been trimmed with a pencil, but I can’t tell you the trumpet.
“It doesn’t mean that you can do it if you believe it, but you can’t do it if you don’t believe it. It doesn’t mean that you believe in goals that are completely unattainable. People need to find a balance between self-confidence and self-esteem.
What I am talking about is that you can corner at 60km/h now, and you believe you can corner at 70km/h, because of this belief, you will dare to try, and because of such confidence or conceit, you will learn more Excellent cornering technique, so that you can really corner at 70.
“Belief” is a step-by-step process. It is based on what you have now. On this basis, you believe that you can move forward a little bit, so you insist on this belief and pursue it. “
“But what if I believe it, but I didn’t achieve what I wanted in the end?”
“It means that you have worked hard, and you really can’t achieve it. It’s like you believe you can pursue a girl who looks like Kawashima and Tsumi, so you try very hard to pursue it, but in the end they are with the manager. .
Your beliefs lead you to many actions, but those actions do not lead to the results you want. But even so, you will be happy because you tried your best. “
“Is this what you call first love?”
“No, this is lovelorn.”
pony
The pony also happens to be 35 years old this year. He likes to wear a windbreaker and sunglasses very much, and often has a cigarette in his mouth. Although the dollar exchange rate has risen, he is reluctant to use dollars to light cigarettes, but we still call him Xiao Ma.
He rode a BMW 1200 GS motorcycle, the Shorebird. Whether it’s a daily commute, a mountain run, a long-distance trip, or the occasional solo run, he rides his beloved waterfowl.
Once, Brother Xiao Ma just went back to Beijing after eating donkey meat in Baoding. He happened to pass by a friend’s community and asked a friend to catch up. He stopped at the gate of a community and waited for a friend to pick him up.
At this moment, a very good-looking girl came from a distance, staring intently at Brother Pony. Yes, it’s that heartwarming feeling.
The closer the girl got, the more excited Brother Ma became, waiting for the long-lost conversation.
“I’m from Building 601, Building 3,” the girl asked as she walked up to her.
“It should be a small package,” the girl continued.
Brother Ma immediately frowned and stared at the girl with a fierce look. Yes, it’s that feeling that you’re rolling away.
BMW motorcycle, sounds cool. Except for waterfowl. The Waterbird is a car where you feel like a SF courier after you put on the red jersey and pack its suitcase. This is not the first time that Xiao Ma has been misunderstood as a SF courier. Even the younger brother of SF Express in his community thought they were colleagues.
The motorcycle circle is full of “scumbags and scumbags” – they are very non-specific, change cars frequently, sometimes you ride mine, sometimes I ride yours, and a group of people rides each other. But the little brother is different, he has been riding waterfowl for many years.
I asked Xiao Ma, why do you only love water birds with so many cars?
Brother Xiao Ma lit a cigarette with the lighter he bought in RMB and said:
“Like changing the position of sex, I actually tried countless types of motorcycles when I was young. I played with pedals, street bikes, and squat races. I didn’t like to ride waterfowl, but I chose waterfowl.
I can ride many cars, but they are uncomfortable. Some cars even make it easier for me to pick up girls, at least not often mistaken for delivery.
But I don’t mind. I might have minded it when I was young, but now I don’t, I’ll just be happy. I ride waterfowl, I am happy, I don’t need to care what other people think.
We were never born to ride, but the moment we touched a motorcycle, our hidden genes were activated and we fell deeply in love with her. Later I learned that there are many types of motorcycles. “
“Yes, there are many types of couriers, there are hourly delivery and next-day delivery.”
“I think I’m pretty smart, I should be able to learn to ride all kinds of motorcycles, I should be able to run on different roads, I can run mountains with you, and I can go down the track with others.
I did too.
But at the same time, I also know that “I can do it” and “I like to do it” are two different things.
I choose to ride the car I want to ride, I choose the route I love to ride, I choose the destination I like, and I choose the self that I like.
People do things and do not do things. Only when I do what I really want to do and walk the path I want to walk can I feel my existence. I can do a lot of things I don’t want to do under the roof, but then Not me, not my little brother. “
“But if your car breaks down on the road, and you still want to go to your destination, there is a street car on the road at this time, don’t you just walk instead of riding?”
“No, I can ride. What I want to do, sometimes I can’t do it because of many factors, but I still know in my heart who I am, what I should do, what I want to do, what I like to do, and, I Now it’s time to get out of the predicament first, and then look for my waterfowl.
Either do what you love, or prepare to do what you love. “
Indeed, it is quite fun to do what you love.
Mr. Pen
Mr. Pen also happens to be 35 years old this year. He has a nickname: Caveman.
He has a theory that justifies it, “No matter how much unhappy things happen to you, as long as you run into the cave and speak your emotions out loud, when you hear the echo, you find someone with the exact same voice as you. Comparing with you, you will forget your unhappiness and indulge in the game in the process of comparing with you, and at the same time you will feel that every family has a hard-to-read scripture, in fact, your unhappiness is not a problem.”
Not long ago, I heard from a friend that Mr. Bi has been very unhappy recently. My first reaction was, is it optimized at the embarrassing age of 35 in the Internet industry?
I asked Mr. Pen and he said, “No, I wasn’t fired”.
“Is that a salary cut?”
“nor”
“Your subordinates were found out?”
“nor”
“What’s there to be unhappy about then?”
“Come with me tonight”
“…”
“Come and accompany me to the cave for a walk”
“Walk!”
On November 6, 2021 at 11:06 pm, this minute belongs to me and Mr. Pen. I stared at him for 60 seconds at the Future Science City Bridge, and in embarrassment, I could vaguely see a trace of calm in his left eye and a touch of firmness in his right eye.
“This is your cave? Where is the cave?”
“We were in the cave just now, and now we’re out”
“How do you explain this?”
“Actually, there is no cave in the physical sense. The cave I’m talking about is actually a virtual space that talks to myself. I just finished the conversation with myself when I rode here from the city with you.
Some people may drink when they are unhappy, some people will talk to friends, some people will find a counselor, I tend to talk to myself.
Because only when I have a dialogue with myself, I will not embellish, exaggerate, raise or lower, nor conceal, I like to talk to myself. “
“You fucking split personality”
“Probably, but I have gained peace of mind in this way. Whether it’s losing money in speculation, whether it’s quarreling with my boyfriend or girlfriend, whether it’s my white-headed man sending a black-headed man to watch my team The little friends were optimized and I stayed alone. I used the dialogue with myself to restore my inner peace.
I knew that I had to regain my calm, because life was not only about stubbornness, but also wetness and Yuanfang, I had to regain my energy by restoring my calm and set off again.
I’ve been doing this for years. Tried and tested. “
“The caveman, you really have a set”, I sighed.
Mr. Pen smiled, took out his wallet, and said, “Yes, I really have one.”
Sister De
Sister De is also 35 years old this year.
When I first met Sister De, she was 30 years old. We went to KTV to sing together. I sang “A Thirty-Year-Old Woman” to her, and she gave me a blank look.
5 years have passed, and Sister De is still unmarried and childless.
“I was looking for a job at the age of 30. The interviewer saw that I was unmarried and had no children, so they didn’t want to hire me. Now I don’t have this concern anymore. They all think that I can’t get married and have children again, hahahahahaha.”
I have always wondered what kind of car Ms. Dao rides, because she changes cars very frequently. I have always wondered who Ms. Tao’s boyfriend is, because she changes boyfriends faster than cars. In fact, I don’t know if she is with a man or a woman.
Every time I see Sister De, she tells me stories of different partners, as if she has an infinite Excel table in her mind, with at least 50 columns in the header, to make horizontal comparisons of all aspects of partners.
“I think Sister De, you are very handsome. You broke up, and you are not happy. Every time I see you, you are laughing and laughing. Do you have any experience in life that you can share with us fast-running recorders? I will write it down as one. An article that is now being read by others.”
“Actually, it’s nothing, I just figured out some things. I may just be a by-product of my parents’ happiness. If I put it into the future, I may be their third child for tax relief.”
“how do I say this?”
“We can’t decide why we “live”, it may be because of an unplanned pregnancy, or it may be planned to live, but in any case, the result of coming to the world is not decided by us, but by others. Although this decision is from the people closest to you.
You can’t decide your original family, you can’t decide your growth environment before you reach adulthood, you can’t decide who your primary school teacher is.
These things will shape who you are, and these things will even force you to become what they want you to be.
But at this time, you are not you, you are not alive, you are just alive. “
“Sounds a bit dashing, have you ever had a moment of confusion?”
“Of course there is. I was confused when I first graduated from college.
Because before college, how I lived was arranged by someone. My parents told me when to do what, my teacher told me when to take a class, when to take a test, my relatives told me when to meet a man and when to have a baby, and then , cycle to the next generation.
My parents are not connected locally, which is both my misfortune and my luck.
Unfortunately, my parents couldn’t help me with what job should I do after college. Fortunately, this forced me to develop self-awareness and find my own way.
The so-called confusion is actually that no one has set goals for you anymore. The process of achieving the goal is not confusing, the confusion is that you need to make your own. “
Sister De glanced at the sky. We were not in Inner Mongolia, but in Beijing. The lights were bright, and we couldn’t see the stars or the Milky Way. Sister De sighed and continued:
“When I was 30 years old, I was actually confused, because many of my classmates and friends of the same age were already married and had children, and I was single at the time, and you stinky rascal even sang “The Thirty-Year-Old Woman” to me.
I was thinking at that time, should I follow my parents’ advice and find someone to quickly get married and have children to avoid being unwanted and to avoid becoming an elderly mother.
I didn’t change boyfriends as often as I do now, and my boyfriend at the time just couldn’t, which was both my misfortune and my luck.
Unfortunately, I missed the fabled marriageable and childbearing age. Luckily, this forced me to build my self-awareness again and get on my own path again.
The so-called confusion is actually that you set a path for yourself, and then there are constantly other people questioning your path and telling you that their path is the best, and you have hesitation. “
“Ah, so you actually like men.”
“Sometimes. You guys don’t have many good things.
We can’t decide why we live, but we can decide how we live. I think that’s what we came to this world for. If we have been living according to other people’s goals, what are we? If we have been living according to the eyes of others, then what are we?
People must live for themselves first, and don’t be led astray by the labels and goals given to you by society and your family of origin, unless you want to.
We don’t need to answer where I’m from because we are not involved in decision making. But need to answer who am I and where am I going at different stages.
Live for yourself, man.”
“So, where are you going next? What’s your next goal?”
“The next goal is to have more boyfriends than Muzimei.”
After talking, Sister De turned on her phone and created 200 new rows on the Excel sheet.
seven people
I sent the above 6 stories to the 6 Mo friends, Wochni Ma Bide. After all, I wrote other people’s stories, and I still need to explain.
As if they had agreed, they didn’t reply to me, they just sent a nod.
I thought for a moment, and I didn’t reply to them with text, I took 6 shots of myself.
© maybe |
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