Other people’s love, what are you excited about?

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Whenever the editors fall silent at the topic selection meeting, someone always jumps out and asks: Have you watched a certain love variety show/television/novel recently? Nii to Nii to!
There will also be editors scratching their heads: what are you excited about when others are in love? What do people who are enthusiastically talking about second-hand love (chasing love, nibbling on CP, writing fanfiction) think?
Today, the editorial department opened an internal confession. We invited employees whose second-hand love history is hundreds of pages longer than their love history, designers with ten years of experience in fan fiction writing, and ex-colleagues who have personally participated in love variety shows. Their little take on second-hand love.
Here is their testimony:


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Taopu Man

The editor of CP Du BE

For many years, CP (observing, reading, analyzing the coping of other people’s intimate relationships) has been a vital source of emotional energy for me. The time line can be traced back to elementary school. My mother very strongly deprived me of the right to watch love-oriented cartoons such as “Sailor Moon” and “Cat’s Eye Three Sisters”, and it was also from the moment when the male and female protagonists made physical contact in the picture. He frequently urged me to drink water and go to the toilet alternately. Of course, there were no shortage of fish that slipped through the net.

“Detective Conan”, “Inuyasha” and even “Three Thousand Questions about the Naughty Blue Cat”, and then to the later novels and idol dramas, the favorite singer and his gossip male (girl) friend, when they took the computer class, they landed on Baidu Tieba to watch. Analysis of enthusiastic netizens… It’s really fun to eat CP and find candy!

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Animation “Detective Conan”

I still remember that in 2010, a pair of disconnected singers, CP, who I had a hard time with, suddenly sang a song about missing and regretting together at the man’s concert. It’s no exaggeration to say that I haven’t seen the video yet. The fans at the scene posted vividly describing the pink roses on the piano, the male singer kneeling on one knee, and the moment when they heard “Let’s welcome a special guest—” Screams that didn’t stop…the silent group boiled.

In the next two years, everyone was looking for clues on the whole platform. When I was in high school and at the “critical stage” of my study career, I studied PS and PR with all my strength, and participated in discussions, drawing and editing with enthusiasm.

Second-hand love has more freedom to choose and give value to the object than it is to invest in one’s own feelings. So it doesn’t really matter if they are true or not. “Love” is a social reality, but since ancient times, it is not love that makes the world run. More often, love is one of the starting points or means.

In the book “Making Pets: Domination and Feelings”, Yifu Duan analyzed in great detail the three relationships between man and nature, with others, and with self, all of which inevitably constitute the relationship between domination and being dominated. “Love” has become an emotional shackle with a human face, forever binding and binding both emotional parties.

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TV series “Want to see you”

On the contrary, in “second-hand love” behaviors such as nibbling CP, “love” is the result, and love is love itself. On the basis of a certain reality, the construction of meaning depends entirely on the master. Then the story becomes pure. Who wouldn’t cry for the sentence “I’m like a fallen leaf that returns to your heart” and finally sang it well?

Can’t help shouting for all the love brains: Lover is not ashamed, long live lover.

riverside grass

Watching Hallyu Growing Up Single Reading Edit

My dating history can be traced back to a now-defunct Korean variety show “We Got Married”. The show is in the form of a pair of stars pretending to be husband and wife and performing various dating scenes, similar to the adult play.

After the college entrance examination was over, I had nothing to do, so I clicked on this variety show that my friends often mentioned. She was a big fan of the Pooh couple at that time, and I started watching it to have more common topics with my friends. A few episodes later, in today’s parlance, “up above.”

First of all, the pictures of handsome men and beautiful women together are very eye-catching – all the later love dramas, the appearance is undoubtedly the ticket, people are willing to watch handsome men and beauties fall in love, I don’t know if anyone has studied the reason. And the half-truth of Lian Zong allows the audience to project themselves more immersively on the actors than when watching TV dramas. They are real people just like us, but their dramatic and romantic experiences are ordinary people. Rare.

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At that time, I had just graduated from high school, and I had just bid farewell to the depressing environment of the entrance examination. There was no love experience, and love became the outlet of my desire. The addiction of watching the later period, in retrospect, may be down to the desire for control, the conviction that “they must be real” is more addicting than the love experience brought by the show itself. I remember watching various clues compiled by many netizens at that time, like detectives, proving that they must have moved the truth on the show.

The desire to control requires constant feeding, constant self-deception, including the denial of noise, and then there is a feeling of wish fulfillment. Even if the male stars on the show broke out in love with other female stars later, I still tried to comfort myself, that was the hype, and in retrospect, I really felt that I was funny at that time.

I also forgot when I wasn’t interested in the CP thing, maybe as time goes by, more realistic stimuli come in and naturally fade away. A photo may also have played a role. Next to the guests who appeared in the show, there was a dense circle of cameras. At that moment, it was as if Truman opened the door.

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“We Got Married” Filming Site

Later, I will still watch idol dramas. If the plot can convince people and the chemical reaction between the male and female lead actors is good, I will restrain myself from taking a CP. The psychological mechanism is generally similar to what I said before, with desire projection and control.

In the past two years, the marriage news of Son Ye-jin and Hyun Bin has brought me a great sense of happiness. Let’s not talk about the role of marriage in intimacy. It’s just out of very simple emotions. Actors who have grown in experience are also sincerely happy for them because the other party is smiling.

Once again, I devoted myself to watching Lian Zong, which is already “Transfer to Love”, a new variety after the iteration of the variety show. The program group invites several pairs of exes to a cabin, where they can get back together, hold hands with the newcomer (that is, transfer), or continue to be single.

This kind of setting makes the reality show more or less performative with more real content and more complex emotional texture: nostalgia, paranoia, self-contradiction, left and right swing, self-esteem, selfishness, one person’s relationship with another person Empathy… In the first season, there was a couple who had been in love for many years but broke up soon. The boy didn’t want to repeat the same mistake, so he kept calmly drawing a line with the girl, but after sending his bad ex home, he was so sad on the stairs His legs were weak, and he blamed himself and said, “It’s all because of me that she became like this.”

There is also a pair of first love who met again after ten years. The two were smiling and recalling their childhood, but the girl couldn’t help crying when she mentioned that the other’s father used to take care of her. Finally, she said, “I can finally close the book. the last page”. It’s hard not to be touched by these moments, fragile and soft human beings.

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Variety show “Transfer to Love 1”

For me personally, watching this show can often be healed, because I experienced cold violence and was forced to break up, and I spent a long time in despair. I can’t get good comfort from the people around me, and I don’t know how How do you deal with your heartbreak.

When watching the show, I can finally see the intimate relationship from the perspective of a third person, from the ground. It turns out that people are like this. It turns out that it is such a psychology. let go.

But I can’t fully accept this show, and I often watch a few episodes and can’t watch it. How can anyone afford to be watched like this? Although there are always people in the comments emphasizing that “this is human nature” and “please be tolerant to the performers”, netizens will always judge a person’s performance in the show. Even if I behave inappropriately, I won’t accept the public’s finger-pointing. I worry about their mental health.

I also often ask myself: Is it okay for me to pass the time watching others expose my true emotional life to the public, and to satisfy my empty heart by licking other people’s emotions?

vegetable market

single-read editor who once owned Netflix

I am full of gratitude for secondhand love. I spent my college life in a particularly cold, underdeveloped place, and for a while my life was almost parasitic on the love of others.

During the day, if it wasn’t for the Japanese variety show “Double Apartment” and the Korean variety show “Heart Signal” to watch, it would be hard for me to push myself to eat those tasteless meals day after day. I have to watch another episode at night, knowing that in a distant place, the lives of the protagonists are still going on, so that I can sleep warmly.

Duplex in particular — which ran for five seasons from 2012 to 2020, with 70 episodes in each season, with men and women coming and going — has become almost synonymous with food. When I think: watch an episode? Means: Want something to eat?

Of course, guilt sometimes surrounds me. Why rely on constantly falling into second-hand “love” (the day I slept on the living room couch with the CPs in “Duplex”, I also went to bed three hours earlier than usual) for energy, meaning, or Looking for anything that makes us look forward to tomorrow? Is first-hand “love” too rare, or too terrifying?

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Variety show “Double Apartment: Hawaii”

I feel like I’ve had a McDonald’s beef burger and never wanted to worry about cooking beef again. While I was comforted in Duplex, I was more lenient in letting real-life relationships go bad.

Back then I went to Wikipedia for “love” and nothing useful was written. Later, I read that Badiou said in “The Duo of Love” that “love is a duet”, and Han Bingzhe further understood love as the process of breaking the old and establishing the new in “Death of Eros”, and I began to try to understand my own behavior.

I imagine that there are two sets of puzzles with profound differences in them. It is impossible to die. They have to exchange the original pieces and put together two new ones. If this is the process of love… then, watch this process, if it doesn’t go your way, you can leave the table without any hesitation and watch it in another process. Enjoying the dance of the so-called difference cleanly, without having to feel the real pain because of the self-remodeling brought about by the difference, may be the charm of second-hand love.

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Variety show “Duplex Apartment: The Man and Woman Next Door”

“Kill me to add fun to my CP!” This kind of statement is a very accurate description of our ability to eliminate ego to the greatest extent and share our happy mood incognito in watching. If this hobby is somehow somehow connected to everything we’re going through, I think the desire to self-eliminate comes from an unwillingness to let the little bit of self that remains to be challenged.

“Death of Eros” also says that individualism is killing (first-hand) love. In this time of unknown future (whether travel will be restricted, whether you will lose your job, whether you will lose the possibility of getting better), the most important thing is to control yourself. So we turn to mediated, limited, unending imaginative love, where it is safe to let go of self-consciousness and intervene in the lives of others without offending anyone.

There, everything is free and harmless. There are also rehearsals of countless ideal love relationships, all of which have nothing to do with the social news of Xianzang.

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Variety show “Double Apartment: Tokyo 2019-2020”

However, I believe that even when we are consuming the CP that has nothing to do with us, there are faint wishes in our hearts. One is to wish that no matter how difficult it is to approach another person in the real world, in the direction of our efforts, there are always such and such. Pas de deux; the second is to wish that when the time is right, “I” can also spin fearlessly and join the dance of the crowd.

hammerhead shark

A single-read designer who has written fan fiction for ten years

Borrowing from Gao Hanning’s “Romantic 2.0: Intimacy in “Women-Oriented” Internet Culture”: “If we simply start from the physiological response of ‘stimulating dopamine secretion’, ‘sugar intake’ and ‘love’ are very similar experiences. . Then, the ‘intimacy experience’ created by a series of cultural production/fan community activities with ‘character pairing’ as the pre-action action is equivalent to a synthetic ‘sugar substitute’.” – It seems It is one of the footnotes of the so-called “second-hand love” in the title.

“Second-hand love” based on non-reality is one of the ways for lovers to expand the boundaries of intimacy, that is, a “testing ground for intimacy”. In my own ten years or so of personal fan fiction creation experience, what I focus on is: how virtual characters act as vehicles to carry the creator’s desire to walk, in the creative process of deconstruction-reconstruction originality-second creation, Beyond the text mirrors our erotic desires in real life.

Fan culture scholar Elizabeth Woledge mentioned in her paper “Fan Fiction and Fan Communities in the Age of the Internet: New Essays” that a considerable number of fan fiction and similar creative practices are based on a It is set against the backdrop of a fantasy world called Intimatopia, because a central feature of such texts is the exploration of intimacy. Although imagination and creation cannot be separated from the foundation of reality, in the fantasy space, the discourse power of existing social order and discipline rules is greatly reduced. In this world, not only can the marriage system be changed according to individual ideas, but more importantly, The possibility of relationship between people (that is, roles and roles) is no longer limited by the definition of common marriage and love words such as “love” and “marriage”.

For example, the erotic pattern that breaks the love-hate binary common in literary works is not uncommon in the fandom field. Even if the two characters are enemies with each other and are fighting for their lives, there are still difficult to use simple “love”. “Hate” describes the emotional tension that is clearly identifiable. Can’t a person hate a person at the same time when he loves it? Is there only a clear emotional interval between love and hate, so that there is no other possibility? Many fan creators tend to give their own answers. And this kind of hideous and subtle relationship is actually what I want for fan creation.

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The animation “Bungo Ye 〇”, from left to right, are the rogue writers Sakao Ango, Weaving Sakunosuke, and Taijiji

Because of my personal aesthetic taste, whether it is “Benhao Ye 〇”, which I was addicted to in high school, or Shi Tong (historical figure fan) who was on and off the sidelines, the characters satisfy my imagination of more, richer, and more complex relationships. , the needs of more dark and cramped moments, the relationship between them, it is difficult to make a conclusion with one sentence; and even if you don’t understand it, you don’t have any intention of being a fan. 〇Mayi & 〇Pi & 〇Zhi in Shu Wu, 〇 Geliang and 〇 Yu in Shu Wu) make a more self-interpretation. The gap between interpretation and interpretation is an important field for doujin to play.

Going further, “Seven-step Poem” is also “Shi Shuo Xin Yu”‘s interpretation and fantasy of the relationship between O Pi and O Zhi, so why can’t fanciers have their own “Seven-step Poem”? Therefore, using individual creations to deconstruct and reconstruct those “quasi-grand narratives” that seem to have a higher discourse power – this is also another key significance of fans, especially historical fans, to me.

pico sub

Single-read employees who have fun

Gender female, no love stage, daily entertainment life is not too rich, “by watching others fall in love, get a real and plump sweet feeling” has gradually become one of the main ways to mobilize the enthusiasm of my life. Obviously, if one day my colleagues find me smiling, walking briskly, and full of energy, it must be that I have been in love with others again.

Let me first talk about the loves of others that I have “participated” in. The main sources of these loves are Chinese, Japanese and Korean TV dramas. Lian Zong mainly focuses on the sweet clips edited.

In TV dramas, I mainly focus on the love of the protagonist. There are very few people who have drank non-protagonists or unpopular CPs. They belong to the audience who are very obedient to the scriptwriters. If they are not satisfied with the plot, they will choose to abandon the drama directly. Having script support and a clear ending can make me believe in the “love” in the TV series, and the happy ending of the protagonists also means that my “second-hand love” has ended successfully. In addition, it’s more natural for me to be an actor, and I never look forward to “after-sale”, and I don’t worry about “collapse”. After sorting it out like this, I really have a rare freedom and decisiveness in dealing with other people’s love, which is different from my own love.

The whole process of “second-hand love” is to follow the protagonist to misunderstand and then reconcile, ambiguous and heartbeat, fall in love, break up at least once, and then get back together. But I only pay for sweetness. Not long ago, I was in love with the female boss of the tea shop and a high-ranking official in the palace. I stayed up until dawn but still went to work on time with a good mood. Recently, I have fallen in love with female coaches and college students, and I also watch the popular CP of the Korean love drama from time to time, holding hands and interacting sweetly. Love is second-hand, heartbeat is not.

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Variety show “Transfer to Love 2”

When it comes to why I am moved, it is probably that in addition to the basic ideas above, the well-planned love script and the well-designed shots make me feel more secure. Under the interpretation of the actors who meet the eye, ambiguous and heartbeat are always easy, and dopamine is also surging. This kind of heartbeat, I thought about it carefully, it can only be compared to being fluttered by a cute puppy, sticking out his tongue and tilting his head at me. But I absolutely deny that “I’m up for someone else’s love” is a kind of maternal love. But it seems that my sense of participation is not to bring myself into one of the roles, it seems to be just a simple emotion moved by beauty. “They’re in love! It’s so good!” “He’s so handsome! He’s so good!” So, what does their relationship have to do with me?

I can’t think of anything, and I never wanted to analyze it. But I never take “seeing others in love” as a substitute for “falling in love yourself” or something. Real love is not this method. Maybe I will be happy. Paying for the beautiful love scenes constructed by the screenwriter is probably the same as paying for the items I like. Beijing’s long winter is coming, please come to the writers/editors to order more high-quality “electronic mustard”!

excellence

The manager of the sea jumping village, the former one-way space downcast anchor

At the turn of this year’s spring and summer, I participated in a voice love show “Will we meet?”. I only participated in the emotional window with the mentality of trying, but I didn’t expect that participating in the love show would also become a self-analysis experience (although In the end, it did not match with the female guest successfully).

Every time the program is updated, although I still feel my toes on the ground when I hear my own voice, I listen carefully to the reaction part of each episode, and observe myself with the analysis of the guests, which is also a good opportunity for growth!

Regarding the matter of being abused by CP, when one-way work and Taopu Wan partnered on the live broadcast before, the audience in the live broadcast room had been abused by the audience, so when I participated in Lian Zong, it felt good when the audience was abused by the audience, but everyone was smoking CP. How fierce! It may be that the sound love comprehensive leaves enough room for everyone’s imagination.

But in the end, love is something you have to practice on your own! Second-hand love can only be a placebo for a period of time. As for why you are interested in other people’s love, in Love Zong, everyone is watching with a magnifying glass, and the reactions of the guests are also enlarged by later editing. ! Compared with personal love, Lian Zong will infinitely magnify some of our feelings in love, and let everyone ignore the rich details that actually exist in real life. For me, this is a very important part of the relationship.

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Animation “Tom and Jerry”

Recently, I was reading “The Bourgeois Experience 2 Eros in Black” published by Century Wenjing. The love story of the 19th century Western middle class described in it is surprisingly consistent with the spiritual anxiety of the current era. Balzac’s point is also written in the book: Most middle-class women, like most middle-class men, are in fact unsuitable for romance under any circumstances.

Hopefully, while we keep questioning the world, we don’t forget to focus on looking inward instead of money, material possessions, and social status. Love is the eternal theme of human beings.


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