Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/11/05/7793/
△ 309｜Sleeping with the Nightmare
Before starting my daily writing today, I suddenly wanted to try mindful breathing for three minutes. Although the mind is still uncontrollable to “just focus on the breath,” it still counts as a success. The moment I opened my eyes, I immediately felt that the world was a lot clearer – but I wasn’t too excited about the feeling of “new life”, because I had fully experimented with this feeling through the “control variable method” a long time ago. .
When I was doing eye exercises when I was a child, I would have a strange idea, because I closed my eyes for a long time to do eye exercises. When I waited to open my eyes, I would find that my eyes that were closed for a long time would be abnormal when adapting to the surrounding light. sensitive. Especially on sunny days, everything around you will feel more saturated because of eye exercises.
At that time, an experimental proposition was set up: eye exercises can make my eyes more bright and bright after 4 8-beat massages on the acupoints of the eyes.
At first, I closed my eyes and deliberately took a few shots less. When I opened my eyes, I found that I could still feel that bright feeling like a new life. Then I controlled the variables and started to try to do one or two less shots. Then I found that it was still the same. That kind of effect can be achieved, and then the experiment became more and more “complex”. In the second section that was supposed to be “Jingming acupoint”, I was doing “Temple Chakra shaving the eye socket” in the fourth section, and the conclusion remained the same. The experiment that entered the bottleneck made a new discovery because of a small “experimental error”. Because I wanted to verify it faster, I had to open my eyes secretly after the first session of eye exercises. This is a Going against the variable output of the experiment, but I came to the conclusion that if I only closed my eyes for 1 8 beats, the feeling of “rebirth” I could feel would be much weaker, then I changed the variable to closed eyes In time, I finally found the final conclusion of this experiment under the circumstance that “the monitor who was supervised to do eye exercises reminded me many times that I didn’t do the exercises as required” – eye exercises did not bring sudden brightening of vision at all. The reason, and the essence is because I closed my eyes for 4 8-beats of darkness, and the moment I opened my eyes, I had a feeling of being reborn.
——《∞》049｜Light and Darkness
During the same period of the “eye exercises” experiment, I also learned about another “subject” worth experimenting with – some people are afraid of the dark, some people are afraid of nightmares.
When you close your eyes, you will feel darkness, and falling asleep may lead to nightmares. So in order to avoid these two unavoidable physiological phenomena, do they choose to never sleep? This kind of ironic conclusion, I didn’t expect to slap myself in the face last year. My brain couldn’t stop because I was sick and couldn’t go to sleep smoothly, so I stared at the wall stupidly all night and let my brain play all kinds of fantasy stories for me. Later, the pathology of the body continued to develop, and I began to create endless nightmares for myself. I wanted to wake up, but I could only bite the bullet and shuttle through one nightmare after another, because at the end of each dream I thought it was waking up. Come.
There is a very wonderful “sequence” in it. “Sleeping with Nightmares” is not the name that was taken at the moment. Its existence is very difficult to say: it is in the 2020 annual novel, and I made up a fictional novel. A non-fiction novel, it is a documentary literature in which the heroine records that the hero and her son can spy on others through nightmares. The specific performance is that the male protagonist can peep into everyone’s nightmares. These nightmares are extremely ugly, disgusting, and bizarre, causing him to be dragged into the abyss of other people’s nightmares.
“These are my nightmares, these 40 years of nightmares, just outside the window… They’re here!”
During the conversation, the light spots from the sky outside the glass finally revealed their true colors. There were strange-shaped creatures in the deep sea, and they uttered a low roar that can only be felt in the darkness of the deep sea; when ancient people were sacrificed to the gods. The totems painted on the whole body can even smell the hot flashes and stench from the red facial paste made of cow blood; there are huge planets that suppress all space, they collapse all time and space, and drag people into its gravity There’s no escaping its gaze; there are some obscure symbols – but just look at them and you’ll know they’re covering your face with an invisible, indestructible membrane …
In the end, in the novel, the male protagonist and himself reached a reconciliation in a sense. He became a painter of fairy tale picture books, he translated nightmares into “healing” fairy tales. So his paintings became popular adult fairy tales at that time, because it can really cure adults’ fear of real life. It’s just that no one knows that behind those paintings are the bloody nightmares themselves.
Finished that fictional novel in 2020, and in 2021 I experienced a serious illness that was stitched together by nightmares, so it was very subtle, like a parallel world of myself entering my subconscious, turning the future oracle into a story In itself – of course, this is another story.
People have a lot of “the pleasure of giving up food because of choking” , but no one can really resist sleep in order to resist darkness or nightmares. Violation of the rules will inevitably bring punishment, and that’s when the real darkness and nightmares begin. Therefore, people begin to believe in those “processes”, such as eye exercises, as long as you complete 4 8-beats as required, you can get a reborn vision – but in fact, you only need to consciously close your eyes for 3 minutes, you can also Get that kind of “rebirth”.
When I was a child, I didn’t like to go to bed on time, so my family always thought that I was afraid of the dark and was too embarrassed to tell the adults, so they bought me a night light that could be plugged into the bedside. I still remember that the night light is made of colored glaze and looks like a bell tower, and it does not give people a “sense of security” when it shines. I stared at the night light in a daze, and saw even more terrifying stories from it, a woman hanging from the top of the clock tower, a man scorched in the center of the light spot, or the door of hell opens every midnight , monsters and monsters filed out from inside, filling the entire room.
Staring at the night light in a daze, trying to use it to dispel the so-called darkness. The pupils adapted to the light of the night light, and when they saw the darkness around them, they were covered with an indescribable darkness, and an indelible spot of light and dark shadow appeared – haha, this is the real beginning of fear. !
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