Original link: https://shinekid.com/2023/05/control-freak/
I certainly understand how important security is in a relationship. That’s why I feel that “loyalty” is the cornerstone of a partnership. However, “loyalty” is often a vocabulary of “free evidence”. Because if I think you cheated, no matter how solid the evidence is in front of you, even if you believe the evidence, a thorn is still buried in the bottom of your heart. At some point in the future, the thorn will be a constant reminder that your partner has cheated. And the evidence to the contrary has been ignored by you, so you will feel insecure, and the relationship ends.
I’m not talking sarcastic here, because there are only two things in the world that cannot be looked at directly, one is the sun and the other is the human heart. I never know what other people are thinking, I can only judge it based on my own experience. It is precisely because this is very subjective and idealistic that it is especially ridiculous when we talk about “loyalty” sometimes. It seems that loyalty is an unquantifiable data. Even if you are playing a game like “The Sims”, the only thing that can be quantified by the game designer is “friendliness”. When the “friendliness” reaches a certain level, you can choose to live together or marry. But as for the future direction of this relationship, the game cannot judge.
Because fidelity is so important to a partnership, some people choose “risk control.” That is to try to control the scope of the partner’s activities within the range that you can control, so that the partner has no risk of cheating. From the perspective of operating the project, such control is not only necessary, but also highly respected. But the problem is that what you are running is not a business project but a relationship. As mentioned earlier, people’s hearts are unpredictable, and you can’t use something specific to evaluate it. Commercial projects are simple, limited by interests and ultimately judged by interests.
I don’t like too close a relationship between partners. Note that I said “tight” not “close”. No matter how close two people are, they need to maintain their own personal space, otherwise one will inevitably become the other’s appendage, or even become the belonging. A relationship is a matter between two people. Once one of them loses the qualification to be a “person”, then the relationship has deteriorated. So, I would say to my partner, I need my space, please keep your distance.
In addition, I don’t like using social software. Social software has indeed shortened the distance between people, but at the same time blurred the sense of distance between people. To say something absurd, I think Anno Hideaki should revise his setting of “Human Completion Project” in “Evangelion”. After all, under the influence of social software, we are really losing our identity as “individuals” presence. In other words, SNS software such as Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram have weakened our ATField a lot.
I kind of miss the old days when everyone was in touch by e-mail, because at least I could choose whether and when to reply.
Control Freak first appeared on ShineKid .
This article is transferred from: https://shinekid.com/2023/05/control-freak/
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