Original link: https://mercurychong.blogspot.com/2022/08/kfc.html
Mercury Bear saw such a sharing/discussion on the Internet and felt it was worth exploring.
“Today at KFC, I saw a father bring his child to buy a children’s meal. When eating, the father said to the child: “Your meal will cost me half a day of hard work. “. The child looks like seven or eight years old. Although he doesn’t speak, he feels like he understands.”
Indeed, in third-tier cities, the average income of each person is not high. When Mercury Bear was a child, he also heard some relatives say to their children, “I don’t have money at home, but I bought it for you” or “I can’t bear to eat and save it for you”. class words.
In fact, Mercury Bear has contradictions in his heart. He can understand the income constraints of ordinary families in third-tier cities, but he also feels distressed that children may feel that kind of inexplicable pressure and guilt since childhood. So, do you show the emotions of making money and suffering in front of your children?
After a brief look at the comments under this share, almost all of them are “Don’t pass negative energy to children” and the like. However, what is negative energy? What is positive energy? Who defines it?
The essence of this question is actually “Should children know the real economic situation of the family”?
Mercury Bear’s answer is yes.
Although I think the father in the story can have a better expression or use of words, but I personally think that children should not feel that their parents’ efforts are for granted.
xxx
Tell a story about a high school classmate Xiaosheng.
In the eyes of Mercury Bear, Xiaosheng has always been a “child from someone else’s family”, because at that time our family backgrounds were too far apart. As long as he wanted something, his parents would satisfy him like Tinker Bell would satisfy Nobita.
While we were still obsessed with stepping on the mines on the computer in the library, Xiaosheng had already taken the lead on the Nintendo and Playstation.
Every time he eats or buys snacks, he takes his favorite “high-end goods” without blinking.
Before graduating from middle school, he got his driver’s license and asked his parents to buy him a car. Although it is not a good car, it is enough for him to be handsome in front of his peers.
His parents ran their own business, so he would have a better life than the average person, and Mercury Bear was not surprised at all.
So when we got together one day later, when Xiaosheng said to Mercury Bear: “Actually, my family is not that rich”, Mercury Bear was stunned.
“Actually, my family hasn’t been that wealthy in recent years…” Xiao Sheng repeated word by word, “I tentatively asked my parents when they would buy a house for me the day before yesterday, and that’s how they answered me.”
“But…” Mercury Bear said these two words after being silent for a while.
“But everyone thinks my family is quite rich, right?” Xiao Sheng smiled wryly, “Not only you, but I also thought the same way when I was a child. Later I learned that business has been sluggish in recent years, and some relatives borrowed money from my family. I paid a lot of money, and I didn’t make an IOU, or I’ll come back…”
“Then you know the truth, how do you feel?” Mercury Bear asked cautiously.
“Compared with the depression of not being able to return to a comfortable life, what I feel more distressed is that my parents concealed from me. They can tell the truth about my family situation, instead of letting me be self-willed, and I will be embarrassed if I ask again. tell me the truth.”
xxx
Some may feel that it is a little too early for a middle school student, or even an elementary school student in a KFC story, to understand the burdens of family life.
To a certain extent, yes. However, as Romain Rolland said: “There is only one true heroism in the world, and that is to love life after knowing its truth.”
For children who are initially mature physically and mentally, it is necessary and necessary to leave the comfort zone as soon as possible, see the true face of life, and avoid becoming a flower in the greenhouse.
The biggest problem with Chinese-style parents is that they always like two people (or even one person) to carry the pain of life silently, and when they turn to face their children, they force a smile.
Mercury Bear felt that this was wrong.
If the family situation is good, you tell the child generously; if the family situation is average, you tell the child calmly; if the family situation is miserable, you tell the child after considering the words. You are not as strong as you think, and your child is nowhere near as fragile as you think.
Remember, never let the child know the real situation of the family unexpectedly. By that time, it is more likely that he is full of anger, powerlessness and guilt.
In the classic game “The Walking Dead”, Lee, who played the guardian, was very reluctant to let Clementine, who was still a primary school student, learn to use a gun to protect himself for a long time after the outbreak of the zombie virus, until he was reminded by his accomplices that the little girl may be in the future. Facing the cruelty and danger of the real world, Lee eventually instructed Clementine to learn self-defense techniques that would last her life, and she was the one she would be grateful for for the rest of her life.
In the movie “The Pursuit of Happyness”, the father played by Will Smith started out as a loser, but he accepted the reality with optimism and confessed to his son the situation of the family.
His son’s response was touching: “Everything will be fine, you are not nothing, you have me.”
Reality may not be as perfect as games or movies, but the responsibility of parents is a more precious gift than blindly protecting children and allowing them to cultivate the ability to think independently.
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