Original link: https://blog.shuiba.co/rich-life
2017, looking back now, was a year of great significance.
In 2017, I am 29 years old, I have worked for three years, and my life is very stable. As I approached my thirties, I became more and more eager to understand the meaning of my existence and life.
In 2017, Brother Dou is also 29 years old, has worked for two years, and has a very stable life. This year is the tenth year we have been together, and the relationship is still very good, so I began to think about having a baby.
In 2017, I was fine with me, I was fine with him, I was fine with money, and I was fine with the world. So good, I “started looking for trouble”.
Those of you who know me well know that I have always been searching for the meaning of my life. This idea started in adolescence, when it was not so strong, and more often I was thinking “Why should I prepare so hard for the college entrance examination”. So in order to give myself a head start, I persuaded my dad to take me to Xiamen University for a walk, to see how good the university is, and to motivate myself to work harder. Later, I was successfully admitted to Shanghai, which is also the city of my own choice, and spent four very happy years there. During my university years, my horizons were further broadened because of the blessings of international metropolises. I found that I do have the blood of Fujianese flowing in my body, and I like to explore outside. At the same time, as a highly sensitive person, my inner drama is very rich. The combination of the two is wonderful. After graduating from university, I came to Japan to study abroad, which fulfilled my wish to go further and further. But this time I’m not alone, but with Brother Dou. We overcame many difficulties and supported each other. Finally, we had our own little home in Japan and enjoyed a happy world of two. Then you must have guessed that, with stable work and life, parents are bound to jump out and ask when they will have children. After being recited for a long time and conditions permitting, I really started to think about it. After all, the 30th mark is just around the corner, and I wanted to suffer early, ah no, enjoy it early, so I made a very important decision – resign and start my gap year ! My parents didn’t understand my operation very well, but I guess they thought I was trying to get pregnant, so they neither supported nor opposed it. Brother Dou is very supportive of me, because he has a stable job and feels that he can support me. It is not a bad thing for me to toss and toss. Maybe if I have an epiphany, he will be able to eat soft rice. My in-laws are also very supportive. My mother-in-law said that I feel like I like to fiddle with something. Anyway, Brother Dou is suitable for being a social animal. Understand people, hahaha!
So, I quietly started a year of rapid growth. In a sense, I did get it. To be hated, I feel like I’ve reached a level of thought rarely seen in my peers. Under the influence of my forced output of Brother Dou, he, who is naturally gifted in calmness and calmness, also began to become aware of his own thinking mode, and we became a strong inner duo, basically realizing “no desire is just” . That was the best time of my life—economically and spiritually independent, my parents were healthy, I had no house, no car, no children, no financial pressure, I had a good relationship, and I traveled everywhere. .
Magazine photo taken in 2006. It was taken from the plane by my dad when he went to Australia.
There has always been an album called “Pai Shu” in my cloud album. From the ancient NetEase album, I transferred it to the current Google Photos, and I still keep it. This is a picture in a magazine that I took with my camera in 2006. These pictures all have one characteristic, that is, I will yearn for them after seeing them. It’s a wonderful feeling, so I’ve left the electronic version so I can review it anytime. Pursuing this wonderful feeling has also become the main reason why I like photography and travel, because I also want to take pictures like that, and I also want to go to the places in the pictures to experience a different life. In fact, I did a similar thing when I was a kid, I cut a picture out of a newspaper and put it in a desk drawer. When you are tired and tired, take it out to wash your eyes and wash your heart, as if giving yourself a hint – work hard, you will live the life you want. A few years ago, I found this album again, and found that the life I once longed for has not changed. These photos can still arouse ripples in my heart, and there is a sense of reassurance that “the real me will never change”. On the other hand, I was also pleasantly surprised to find that I already own the lifestyle conveyed by the pictures—I have my own photography philosophy, and the ability to plan my own travel, go where I want to go, and take the pictures I want to take. I also really like to record and review, to see the road I have traveled and the progress I have made over the years, which can give myself a great deal of self-confidence.
I am an experientialist
I was sorting out my computer a few days ago, and I stumbled across a course material called “Abundant Life” that I participated in in that magical year of 2017. That’s what a friend of mine who aspires to be a life coach does with her friends. At that time, I was half ignorant, but since I wanted to find meaning in life and she could help me, I participated with the mentality of giving it a try. For three months, I was more fully engaged because I quit my job at home, but I still felt a little “indigestion” by the end of the course. My friends and her friends gave me a lot of inspiration and motivation to think. Even so, I just thought about what I could figure out at the time. But there is no doubt that because the predecessors planted the towering trees, my descendants can enjoy the shade comfortably. At the very least, I see more hope because of those qualities that shine in them, I see living out who I am, and I want to join their team more and more. After the course, I returned to my flat but turbulent gap year life. It’s just that I’m not the same person I was three months ago, and the changes in my thinking can’t be seen for a while, but they will influence every decision in the future, and then change the trajectory of my life. This is also what they are pursuing, hoping to give each student a richer and more comprehensive perspective on how they see themselves and others on the world, get rid of prejudice, and stay true to their hearts.
Five years later, when I reopened the courseware and my jerky homework at the time, I found that I had changed a lot from five years ago, and it was a positive change. The content that was not digested at that time also has new ideas and growth, which makes me very much looking forward to what will happen in another five years. At the same time, I fully understand in my heart what brought me such great progress in the past five years – it is Po Po, it is to have children, it is to deal with the relationship between the children and me, it is a new way of life, and it is the need to face Overcome financial pressures and own inability to control emotions. Setbacks make people grow, I really understand. This process is a bit dumbfounding, because growing up is really painful, but after growing up, I am really happy because I have become so powerful. This article actually originated from reviewing the information on “Abundant Life”, and I wanted to record my own growth. After going around in a circle, I finally got to the “real topic”.
my relationship with me
After tossing and searching for my goal in life for several years, I have not been able to convince myself of the harvest. Then I thought, maybe I’ve already lived the life I wanted, so this was the end of it. In this review, I found that there was an important point in the courseware that I had overlooked at the time—what I should be looking for is not a life goal, but an ideal state. I am full of inspiration, yes, what I pursue is never an external condition, but a comfortable feeling in my heart. And this comfortable feeling is always there, when I see certain pictures, when I think of certain lyrics, when I hug my beloved. So I don’t need to use what I have to judge whether I have lived an ideal life, whether I have pursued my goals in life, as long as my heart is satisfied, I am in an ideal state. The goal will change, but only you know the comfortable state. And now, I am very satisfied with my life .
my relationship with money
Although I come from an economics background, I am not at all sensitive to numbers. Brother Dou is woodier than I am, so our family is all about “getting along”. I’ve always wanted to manage my money well, but I’ve always lacked motivation. At that time, the world of two people, double protection, there is a surplus of any flower, and you can travel everywhere, and there is no sense of urgency at all. Until Popo was born, we began to have to deal with family financial problems. So I did some research on my own, and then applied the knowledge I learned in the “Abundant Life” course, starting from bookkeeping, to preparing an emergency fund, and then to making a fixed investment. Two years have passed, and it can be said that I have transformed. It is not that we have become a rich and financially free family, but at the very least, we are very familiar with our financial situation and have corresponding plans for the future. I have written all of these in another blog post “Family Financial Management” , if you are interested, you can go and find out.
After becoming a mother, my self-adjustment ability is much stronger, and I deeply understand the power of subjective initiative and understand that there is nothing that cannot be adapted. Life now is just about getting the best version with limited resources. As for the rest, the brain will rationalize it for you. As a highly sensitive person, I found that the lower my desire, the less pressure I have. Because of limited time and energy, it feels very uncomfortable to be pushed away. It is better to take the initiative to break away and take back control of life. Therefore, I have been streamlining myself, compressing my desires while enhancing my abilities, returning to the invincible state of “no desire is just”. On the other hand, since I figured out that “investing looks like money makes money, but in fact, you need to invest energy, just like going to work”, I plan to use fixed investment as a savings, and no longer do in-depth research. If it takes too much energy, it is better to invest in your own business, do what you are better at, and create greater value.
my relationship with others
It’s still very good with Dou, except for the negative thoughts when I’m overworked and depressed, but fortunately I know that it’s my illness, not true. Po Po is growing up, and our conflicts are much less. Coupled with years of actual combat experience, life has been stable. A while ago, I suddenly understood why it was so difficult for me to bring a baby, because it was difficult for me to get along with people who were emotionally unstable, so I liked the gentle and peaceful beanie. As for Popo, because she was still a child, her physical constraints made her unable to control her emotions, which was embarrassing to me. I know it’s not her fault, she needs to grow up, but I can’t just walk away like I used to run into someone I can’t handle, I’m her mother, I can’t just let it go, I have to help her solve her emotional problems . So I also started to confront my emotional problems. “Abundant Life” mentioned the thinking steps when conflicts arise. I didn’t pay attention to it before, because I rarely have conflicts with Dou Ge, and the example given in the homework is still an ancient past when I didn’t get along with my college roommates.
Thoughts when conflict arises:
What if I compromise?
What if TA compromises?
Does it communicate? Does it touch the principle?
Are my emotions right?
After several conflicts, I also checked a lot of information and made a lot of psychological construction for my own comfort. I unconsciously got on the “right track”, and I began to learn to accept it. In fact, most of the conflicts between me and Po Po are that her emotions irritated me, rather than some principled issues. I won’t make concessions on the issue of principle, so there is no room for discussion. Of course, I will explain why, and she understands it. There is room for discussion. I don’t often mention it on weekdays, and I also explain the reason for the existence of this rule. She remembered it a few times and basically accepted it. In these matters, even if she is dissatisfied, I can accept it, because I think it is reasonable. Like I was patient with my grandmother with dementia because I knew she was sick and I should take care of her more. I know that acceptance is a very good way, but it is really difficult. The most difficult thing is that I have to accept the things that I think are unreasonable. Popo, who is three and a half years old, may sometimes have some inexplicable emotions brewing, and just because of some trivial things, he will burst out with terrible emotions. I can’t understand it, and it’s hard for me to accept it. But I also know that negative energy cannot stimulate positive energy . At this moment, the transformation of the energy field is just in my mind. When I softened, Popo would quickly “disappear”. If I stood on the opposite side of her, she would have a harder time digesting her uneasy emotions. Therefore, the course of “Abundant Life” is really good. Although I didn’t think about the danger at that time, I summed up the experience and lessons after thinking about it. Now I look back and compare it. Wish I could be more aware of the moment of anger for a second and then make at least a better decision for myself.
Easter eggs
I forgot that I wanted to be a YouTuber, probably an attempt to increase passive income. But then I still found it too troublesome because I had to start all over again. I have many hobbies and hobbies. At first, I found a friend who can be a life coach because I wanted to find a career in my hobbies.
She asked me: Why do I have to choose one? Why does it have to be now?
I was stunned by her question and replied: Maybe I want to start my lifelong career quickly? The earlier you accumulate experience, the earlier you can accumulate wealth?
She continued: “So is it because you’re under financial pressure right now? Otherwise why does it have to be now? Can’t take it slow?
Me: That makes sense!
Since then, I no longer struggled to find my lifelong career “immediately”, not to mention that this is not something that can be found by constantly exploring outwards. I also need to look inward and fully understand myself before I can plan a career path that suits me. Furthermore, I don’t think there is a so-called lifelong career right now. With my personality, I want to do a lot of things, so I can do them well. Maybe I can make several careers, and even create new careers under the superposition, occupy the high ground of differentiation, and become a real career.
Office clerks who need to travel to hold exhibitions during statutory holidays
Thanks to Japan’s more relaxed working environment, I also stumbled onto an exclusive career path. When I just graduated, I could only choose a job within a limited scope because of the visa, so I had to give up the web designer job I had experienced during my internship, and chose to work as a clerk in an office, except for occasional business trips to hold exhibitions. It was easy to sit in the office, and I also smoothly transitioned from a student to a social person. It’s also a lot of fun to hold an exhibition. I can run around the country and meet my friends for a little fun. It’s a pity that because of the nature of work, I can’t always be with Brother Dou during vacations, and I sacrifice a lot of travel opportunities. Later, because the deviation from the boss’s concept became larger and larger, or it may be that I was mature and had room to choose, I left the company where I stayed for three years and entered a gap year. One of the goals of the gap year is to “get rid of financial pressure and find the job I want to do from my heart.” At that time, I had just left my first official job, and I wrote the first note in the working conditions – not working on statutory holidays.
writer
Adolescence self-awakened, fell in love with photography, travel, blogging. Due to age and economic reasons, it is difficult to travel, and photography is also restricted by the camera model. Only blogging is relatively free and can be completely controlled by oneself. That’s how I wrote it now. So in the gap year, I tried writing as a writer, because I thought my writing was good, and a few friends were writing for magazines or content apps, so I started exploring in this area. I went to the Douban group to find recruitment, and uploaded my blog posts to Douban Reading. Although Douban Reading did not pass the review, I still posted a few short stories on the APP and got paid. Even so, after the conversion, I found that the hourly salary was too low. I might as well find a small restaurant in Japan to work part-time, and I thought I didn’t like this job that much, so I stopped at it.
photographer
The love of photography is inherited from my father. Because of him, when I was young, I would change film in my bed. The rise of digital cameras in high school, just when I wanted it but hadn’t said it, my dad brought one back! I couldn’t put it down and started to browse the streets. During that time, I was addicted to taking pictures, post-production, and blogging. The university applied for all the photography groups, only to find that there are many categories of photography, and event photography is not what I am looking for. When I was a graduate student in Japan, I also seriously considered the job of a photographer. Either I could not support myself from reality, or it was not enough technology, and there were barriers between professionals and amateurs. After years of tossing and turning, I have also roughly figured out the nature of the photographer’s work. Some started as amateurs and turned into professional photographers after becoming famous; some belonged to photography studios or the photography departments of companies, the former for commercial photography and the latter for event photography. No matter which one you need, you need to have excellent technology. The so-called absolute strength, from planning to layout, photography to post-production, is still very different from daily hobbies, and it is very fast. So the job I was looking for at the time was actually the kind of job that was linked to my lifestyle. I was good at taking pictures, writing, writing, and designing layouts, but unfortunately, there were very few such jobs. In addition, the situation in Japan is different. I checked some magazines and newspapers, and basically all of them need a journalism degree. My span is too large, and I am not good at writing articles in Japanese. In the end, this road was blocked by myself. The end point was not what I wanted, and there was no motivation to work hard.
Web Designer (Shop Artist)
First of all, let me explain that in Japan, design companies who specialize in outsourcing websites to various companies are called web designers. This is common all over the world. At the same time, those who do various product pages in companies with online stores are also called web designers. This position should correspond to online store artists in China. Regardless of the former or the latter, I have experienced both during my internship, so it seems that I am working hard. Although my major is business management, I like blogging and design in private. I taught myself html and css, and fiddled with a lot of website design , so I wanted to be a web designer after graduation, and I also found some internships during my study abroad. . After graduation, I could have entered another web design company after being recommended by my mentor. Later, I learned that the work visa was limited, so I had to accept the mentor’s kindness and became a clerk. However, I didn’t sit still. I directly renovated the company’s website and changed it to an adaptive design. With this practical experience, at the end of the gap year, I found a company that sells earrings online and started to work as an online store artist. Although it is a part-time job, because it is also considered a technical job, the salary is better than that of a small restaurant, and the working environment is better. I worked happily for two months to develop my pregnancy, so I ended the work that lasted for more than half a year before giving birth. However, this job is a turning point for my success across industries, so I am very grateful to my boss, and I am also grateful to myself who has always insisted on my love, and I have tasted the sweetness of turning my hobby into a job. After giving birth to my baby, I became a full-time mother for two years. Because I was too tired to take care of my baby (with a wry smile), I decided to return to the workplace. After putting my baby in the nursery, I started my job search after two years of empty window. Because I love tossing and changing jobs, I am not the little Hanhan when I just graduated from the interview experience, plus the buff bonus of the most difficult job in the universe – a full-time mother, I hit it with one hit and found one to sell online . Furniture company , continue the road of my online shop art.
interior designer
So far, I have completed a splendid turn in the workplace, and the next goal, as you all know from the subtitle, is to become an interior designer. In fact, I have always been interested in home improvement. If I want to trace it back, it originated from moving in high school. My mother took me to choose the floor, because our house is small, so I chose the white wood grain floor that can visually expand the area. My mother was a little surprised, but after listening to my explanation, she thought it made sense, so she obeyed my choice. My decision turned out to be the right one, as the floor was reflective and the home looked very bright. It was around that time that I started paying attention to the bright and warm Nordic style. Because of the cold climate and polar nights in northern Europe, they are very concerned about home decoration and often use warm white and light wood as the keynote to create a warm, comfortable and bright interior space. It was the first time I rented a house by myself since I came to Japan, and I gradually began to pay attention to the style of home decoration during the constant moving. Because the hard pack can’t be changed, a little thought was spent on the soft pack. But it was someone else’s house, so I didn’t dare to take it too seriously. Until I moved the year before , I started to remodel it drastically. I was immersed in the pleasure of before-after and couldn’t extricate myself, which was even better than the designer I found. I already love to visit furniture stores, and I inherited my dad’s carpentry skills, so I’m good at DIY, so when I figured it out, should I change my career? So when I plan to return to the workplace, I also set this small goal, but because I am almost a layman, and there are almost no positions that can accept laymen, so I still focus on web designers with professional experience. Come on, after all, I need to find a job soon so I don’t get kicked out of the nursery.
Next, my plan is to learn interior coordinates by myself, get a certificate, find a small company to accumulate home improvement experience, and then gradually get on the right track. Now my target position is the exhibition area designer of IKEA. First, the products are limited to IKEA, which is relatively simple, and second, the exhibition area needs to be constantly changed, and the consequences of failure are light. To this end, I checked a lot of relevant information on the Internet, and I also attended IKEA’s online briefing session to confirm the job content, working hours and application requirements. Also very friendly, I love the whole stay. The only thing I worry about is the transfer. I carefully studied the full English version of the recruitment information, and one of them is “Accepting domestic transfer in Japan”, which is very unfriendly to families with children! But at the same time, because they have an internal priority application system, they can theoretically run around the world, which is very suitable for me who was single a long time ago. After talking for a long time, the most important thing was not mentioned. IKEA has a store in Kobe, the distance is not bad, everything is good, except that there are no vacancies at all! I suspect it has been digested internally! If that’s the case, don’t blame me for being rude! It seems that I can only save the country by curve – apply for other positions first, and then digest your designer position internally!
routine summary
| occupational status | Occupation Type | reward |
|---|---|---|
| practice | Web Designer, Online Store Artist | Accumulate web page production experience and understand relevant industry information |
| full time | trading company clerk | Accustomed to working in the day, from a student to a qualified social person. Accumulate practical experience in website production and brochure production |
| part time | Online shop art (jewelry) | The first time to change careers, formally set foot in the design field, and accumulate experience in product page production |
| full time | Mother (nanny, babysitter, nutritionist, chef, sports coach, psychiatrist…) | Another career change, a whole new field. Improve emotional control, return to the peak of learning new knowledge, and challenge personal limits |
| part time | Online shop art (home) | Improve design ability and efficiency, form your own design system, and be familiar with home appliances such as furniture and household appliances |
| ↓ | // next plan // | ↓ |
| part time | interior designer assistant | Understand the interior design industry and accumulate relevant experience |
| full time | interior designer | Formally change careers, improve capabilities, and establish contacts |
easter egg
turquoise
“Abundant Life” mentioned a concept – meme MEME.
• Unseen Consciousness-Oriented Patterns
• Can be awakened by the state of life
• There is no good or bad, only simple or complex
• Must go through simplicity to evolve into complexity
• Not individual labels, but categories of human consciousness
• Individuals achieve self-actualization at every stage
I didn’t know much at the time, and I looked it up on the Internet, but I still didn’t know much about it. I checked again for this blog post, and I really want to understand a little bit. First off topic, there is another translation of meme – meme, which I know from YouTube. Next, you can come to Baidu Encyclopedia-
Memetics is a new theory that explains the laws of cultural evolution based on Darwin’s theory of evolution. It refers to ideas or ideas that are imitated and disseminated among people in the cultural field, and passed down from generation to generation. Meme uses a pronunciation similar to gene, which means “similar from the same gene”, so meme refers to cultural genes.
I personally understand it as a thought gene. The human mind will continue to evolve like biological genes until it evolves into a tangled state – turquoise color. At this time, man and nature are united, material and consciousness are integrated, and there is no worry. The so-called Dao is simple, returning to the purest existence, above the material world, not bound by external things and worldly feelings. Buddha. mysterious.
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