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Today, the 4th, drive back to Hangzhou:
- Some sections of Hangrui Expressway and Changshen-Shenzhen Expressway have begun to be blocked, and it is expected to be even worse tomorrow.
- It must be the first time I have walked a section of the Lining Expressway. There are dozens of kilometers of tunnels, and the limit is 80 per day. It is too boring. One of the tunnels is called the “Qiukeng Tunnel”, which really suits the situation.
On two consecutive nights on the 2nd and 3rd, there were high school and junior high school reunions respectively. Breaking up my plan to take my parents for a walk every night.
My attitude towards class reunions has always been quite ambivalent:
- On the one hand, I obviously don’t like attending class reunions, and I hate the small talk between familiar strangers. This is basically determined by my personality. At the same time, I also feel that in this situation, if we talk about the present without recalling the past, most of the topics will be inseparable from career, marriage and children, and the conversation will not be in-depth due to the large number of people. I don’t have much interest either.
- On the other hand, I also hope that through this kind of game, I can reconnect with people who I lost touch with when I played particularly well. So as long as there are classmates who played well in the past, I will usually participate.
The junior high school game was organized by Lao Ding. He saw my circle of friends and found out that I had returned to Jiujiang, so he contacted other people to organize this game. To some extent, it was specially organized for me. Thank you very much. When Lao Ding contacted me on WeChat, I was very happy that people still remembered me after being away from Jiujiang for so many years, but I was also very nervous and felt that it would be difficult to integrate into everyone’s circle.
Including me, there are a total of 6 people, and except for me, they all work and live in Jiujiang. They usually get together a lot, and their long-term shared memories go deep into the details of their lives, such as:
- When and where, what and how much wine was drunk, who was drunk, and where he vomited
- We ate here last time. Which ones were there, which ones weren’t there, and why didn’t those who weren’t come?
- Who moved from xx unit to xx unit when? How much was the monthly salary at the beginning and how hard was the life?
- Last time I went to the xx vegetable market, I saw your wife with a straight face. Was she in a bad mood?
- We have the lowest status in the family, and they have the highest status in the family.
- Last time I was in urgent need of some cash, so I called you one by one. I know that his wife is in charge of the money.
- …
How do I get involved in these topics? How can I integrate into Hangzhou for a long time? I didn’t talk much at first, so I could only stay silent. But this is the true state of a circle of acquaintances in a small city. Continuous shared memories are the lubricant of friendship and keep it on the same level. Of course, the six old men also talked about some economics, politics, and military affairs. I was able to participate in a few words on these topics.
Two other observations/feelings that struck me:
- We ate and talked from 6:30 to 10 o’clock. I felt that we had been together for a long time and had eaten and drank well, so I said, “I’m going to drive back to Hangzhou tomorrow, and it’s almost over.” Even though there was no “I’m going to drive tomorrow.” I really wanted to withdraw, but no one seemed to have any intention of leaving, especially Mr. Xin, who was very interested. In fact, I feel that some two classmates may have the same idea as me, but they do not express it. Because if someone is not having fun, then they are not “friend enough”.
- During the game, Mr. Xin kept urging me to drink some wine. Any kind of wine would do. On the way home after the game, Lao Ding and Junjun also told me that I had to drink some wine when we went out to play, otherwise it would not be fun and interesting. I found that young people are much gentler in persuading someone to drink than older people, but persuading someone not to drink is still equivalent to “not being a friend enough”. Persuading people to drink is just a manifestation of the wine table culture, and the values behind it are the essence of the wine table culture. Regarding the latter, nothing changes.
I believe that if I also work and live in Jiujiang and get together with everyone often, it will be the same and I can integrate well. There’s no right or wrong here, it’s just that I haven’t been able to adapt since I’ve been away for too long.
For me, this junior high school game is like “reconnecting with people who had been playing very well back then but lost contact with me.” In addition to Junjun being a neighbor, we would often exchange greetings with each other every time we go home; the last time I met Lao Ding was probably 21 years ago; the last time I met the madman was probably five or six years ago; and Mr. Xin estimated that it was eighty or nine years ago or even I haven’t seen him for a while. He is really super E and full of energy. As for Lao Tu, he is a special existence. He is the husband of a female classmate, but he has completely integrated into our junior high school circle, better than me.
There is a sharp contrast between the high school bureau and the junior high school bureau. Of the 10 people in the high school bureau, except one, all rushed back to Jiujiang from other places. Everyone maintains a certain degree of contact through WeChat on a daily basis, and there is no offline circle in Jiujiang. The topics are typical “reminiscing about the past” and “talking about current career, marriage and children”. Two classmates brought their babies over, and everyone chatted around the two babies, which was pretty good.
(2023-10-04@Hangzhou)
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