“How to Understand Your Wife’s Brain Circuit” Book Excerpt

Original link: https://www.ixiqin.com/2023/08/14/how-to-understand-wifes-brain-circuit/

When I saw the title of the book, I clicked in and read it. I felt that the writing was very good. On the one hand, it gave practical suggestions, and on the other hand, it gave why it happened. It is of great reference and value to straight men.

Preface Understand the female brain mechanism and develop corresponding strategies

The reason why she is “very strict with her husband, but very fond of her children and pets” is the mother’s instinct, and the “endless tenderness” that men yearn for is not motherhood.
I suggest that the majority of men, when choosing a marriage partner, a mature woman may be a better choice than an innocent and lovely woman. Having said that, any woman will have “unreasonable anger” more or less, please male friends be aware of this.

2. Pregnancy and lactation are the most likely to form negative switches

The female brain is a brain that can instantly recall relevant memories from the past and use them to solve immediate problems.
Male brain that thinks the purpose of communication is to solve problems
The female brain fully understands the importance of these “boring conversations.” Therefore, when others talk about their own experiences, women will empathize with them (in return for the gift of wisdom given to them by the other party), and then turn the other party’s “gift of wisdom” into “wisdom that can be used at critical moments” and store it in in the brain. This is the truth of small talk between women, which can be said to be a very intellectual behavior.
The dialogue between women is a resonance meeting in which they give their “insignificant daily experience” to each other, and then the other party uses resonance as a gift in return. Men don’t give any gifts in this regard
And to the male brain, empathy isn’t a gift, problem solving is. Therefore, men rarely show empathy, but directly propose solutions to problems, such as, “Wouldn’t it be better if we just do this?” or “It’s better not to do this kind of thing.”
For example, after the husband arrives home, the wife says, “XX (the child’s name) refuses to sleep and cries, and I can only hug her all the time, and my waist is about to break.” At this time, how should the husband respond? ①I’m spoiled by him being hugged all the time, don’t hug me even if I cry next time. ②Go to the hospital tomorrow to have a look at your waist. Neither answer is correct. ① It regards “holding the child” as a problem, and proposes the solution of “not holding the child”. And ② regards back pain as a problem and proposes the solution of “going to the hospital”. But the answer the wife wants is: “I hugged you all day today? That waist must not be able to bear it. It’s really hard.” Then the husband only needs to say “Yeah, I know” or “Oh, it’s too hard”, Just chime in and listen to your wife complain.
First of all, male friends, please remember one thing: the wife loses her temper because she is hurt now. Whether she’s talking about something that happened a week ago or 30 years ago, the wife throws a tantrum because she feels hurt right now. Therefore, the correct solution is to apologize sincerely, and there is nothing else to do.

3 Use the method of business analysis to communicate with your wife

The vast majority of creatures on the earth take reproduction as their first mission. And the efficient way to preserve the genetic gene through reproduction is to “combine with a completely different type of object” and “change the object every time you get a chance to reproduce”. Because the greater the difference in personality, the stronger the diversity of genetic genes, and the higher the possibility of future generations surviving.
The type of immune antibody determines the characteristics of the individual. Breeding with different types of members of the opposite sex can increase the diversity of offspring traits. To put it simply, the offspring bred from cold-tolerant individuals and heat-resistant individuals have both cold-resistant and heat-resistant characteristics. Whether the planet gets hotter or colder in the future, future generations will survive. Therefore, cautious and carefree, impatient and slow, these seemingly opposite couples in personality are the most suitable from a genetic point of view.
First of all, many men may not have discovered that they will habitually adopt a negative attitude.
If this continues, the two sides will never be able to reach an agreement.
At this time, men might as well think about the method of “business analysis” that they are best at. ① List the advantages and disadvantages of both proposals. ② Actual investigation and verification. ③Don’t try to cover up the shortcomings with the advantages, you should tell the other party what benefits you can get by doing so. ④ Draw conclusions based on the above contents.
Although this method is somewhat cumbersome, it is very effective. If you want your proposal to be accepted by your wife, you must not forget to use the method of business analysis to communicate with your wife.

4 Husbands protecting their wives can greatly ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

The tense relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can sometimes be eased with only one sentence, but this sentence cannot be uttered from the mouth of the daughter-in-law. If the mother (mother-in-law) does not say it, then the son (husband) must say it.
Girls already have a sense of self equivalent to that of an adult woman at the age of 4, and if left unchecked, this sense of self can swell to unimaginable proportions by the time they reach puberty. Girls will think that “self” is more important than “the world”, and even refuse to go to school just because they can’t decide their own hairstyle. There are also many adolescent girls who always feel that everyone around them is paying attention to them, and cannot get rid of this feeling, causing them to dare not reveal their true self and living in an invisible cage.
When a son rebels against his wife, the husband must seriously remind the son: “You are not allowed to speak like this to my precious wife.” A father who turns a blind eye to his son’s rebellion will not be respected by his son, but will be scorned by his son. More importantly, declaring to the children that “my wife is the most important person to me” can touch a wife’s heart deeply. There are many wives who will depend on their husbands all their lives just because of this sentence.
Men use the same ability to think about worldviews that are very different from everyday life. Analyzing the world economic situation and thinking about the laws of development of the universe are things that the male brain is best at.

5 There are two types of “unnamed chores”

Reassurance like this doesn’t have to be done every day. If you say this every day, it will feel like a hypocritical lie. It doesn’t matter even once a month, as long as you don’t forget.
Below is my list of unsung chores that husbands can do too. • Buying rice (rice is heavy, and it is difficult for the wife to carry it. And the frequency of buying rice is low, which will not cause too much pressure on the husband. Fresh food such as milk, because the frequency of buying fresh food is high, the husband may forget , so it is best not to offer to take on this part of the housework, but if the wife makes a request, she must not refuse). • Buy cat litter (ditto). • Make sure there is always water in the refrigerator’s ice maker. • Buying coffee (hobby items like coffee can easily run out of stock, and it’s much easier for the wife to help her husband think about it). • Spray the toilet with anti-mold once a week. • Feed and water pets every morning. • Water the plants on the balcony every morning. • Keep sink mirrors clean. • Barbecues (since wives are always juggling so many chores at once, it’s a lot less stressful for a wife to do a focus-intensive chore like a barbeque by the husband). • Boiled noodles (same as above). • Make coffee (ditto). • Set a time to wash and put rice in the rice cooker before bed (this solves a big event the next morning, very helpful for the wife). It is the best result to be able to discover the unnamed housework that is unique to one’s own family and undertake it!

6 Wives complain about safety concerns

When you see the male friends here, when you encounter similar complaints from your wife, don’t refute or be afraid of trouble, but realize that this is the wife unconsciously protecting the safety of the family and taking precautions before they happen, and then try to obey the wife established rules. The family is basically the territory of women, so don’t defy the women in the family, this is the safest choice.

7. The vast majority of problems happen in the living room

Because the wife spends more time in the living room, the initiative should be given to the wife. The husband should have his own room or exclusive space that the wife has no jurisdiction over.

8 Ways to Use the Time Difference to Take the Stress Out of Both Parties When Shopping

Because the male brain that values goals only wants to reach the target location in the fastest time and shortest distance.
In fact, this behavior, which is completely incomprehensible to the male brain, makes sense in brain science. The linkage between the right hemisphere of the perceptual domain and the left hemisphere of explicit consciousness in the female brain is very frequent and rapid, which belongs to the intuitive brain. When shopping, I also rely on my intuition to make choices.
The male brain chooses by comparison. Therefore, men will come directly to the home appliance store, but then it takes a long time to make a choice.
Reasonability is the most important factor for the male brain.
Husbands needn’t be discouraged if their advice isn’t followed. Because women don’t even ask people they don’t trust.

9 “Words That Desperate My Wife” That Husbands Don’t Realize

Summarizing and offering solutions without your wife asking will only add to the stress on your wife.

10. Open the Mental Line of Communication

Women’s brains have 4 modes when it comes to conversation. ①Psychological affirmation—fact affirmation ②Psychological affirmation—fact negation ③Psychological negation—fact affirmation ④Psychological negation—fact affirmation Women basically don’t use the modes of ③ and ④ in dialogue. That is to say, no matter whether they affirm or deny the facts, the female brains pursuing resonance must first affirm each other psychologically, otherwise the dialogue cannot be established and the interpersonal relationship cannot be established.
It doesn’t matter even if you just echoed “Yes, yes, that’s it” against your will at first, because as long as you are sure of your heart, it doesn’t matter what the facts are. As long as you keep this golden rule in mind, you can greatly reduce the number of “landmines” and make it easier for the other party to accept your opinions.
At the end of the first chapter, I will help you translate “Wife’s Words Against Her Heart”. “Go away!” → I feel very sad, I must give me a good apology, comfort me! “Whatever.” → If you dare to act without authorization, I will never forgive you. You must listen to me carefully and do as I say. “I can do it myself.” → Find out what I think, if you don’t find this, it means you don’t love me. “Why did you do this?” → I don’t want to hear you explain that your words and actions have hurt me. “It’s okay.” →I’m angry, I’m crying, are you going to ignore it? “Leave me alone.” →In this situation, if I am really left alone, I will never let you go. “Everyone says I’m wrong.” → Is it wrong for me? Is it my fault? It’s obviously your fault! “Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it.” →If you are so reluctant, forget it. I usually do several times more housework than this. “Stop explaining.” → I’ve heard enough explaining, you just say “I love you and do as you say”. “Divorce.” →I will never give in on this point, you have to apologize to me!

Chapter 2 Ways to Flip Positivity Switches Ways to Put a Smile Back on Your Wife’s Face

The female brain, which builds up emotions over time, loves the anticipation.
For women’s brains, if they date once a month, women will start enjoying the anticipation 2 weeks before they get the news in advance, and they will still be able to enjoy the aftertaste of the date within 2 weeks after the date. In other words, you only need to date women once every 1-2 months, and choose a weekend at the right time to prepare a slightly luxurious dinner at home, which can make women’s brains feel very happy.

2 Words and Actions That Make a Big Difference in Ordinary Days

Women not only like gifts, but also “meaningful” gifts. Although the bean paste bread is very common, but because the husband remembers a sentence he said casually, this will make the wife feel full of love in it. If you can give your wife 1 or 2 gifts every month like this, you can greatly increase your wife’s favorability towards you.

3 The female brain who loves to listen to sweet words no matter how old they are

For a female brain that lacks a sense of extension, because there is no sense of unity, it is necessary to use “sweet talk” to ensure the connection between the two parties, but men cannot understand women’s feelings at all.
“Only when I am with you, do I feel that life is meaningful.” “You are my one and only.” Such compliments can most directly hit a woman’s heart.
Complimenting your wife when she is happy is an iron rule that must be kept in mind.
Strategically speaking, praise is not the killer weapon that can turn a negative into a positive. But if you compliment the other person when they are happy, the effect of this icing on the cake will be much greater than expected.
The female brain loves certain words. Especially a wife who is devoted to her husband will always ask her husband repeatedly questions such as “Do you like me?” “Would you feel lonely without me?” The husband just needs to give fixed answers like “Of course I like you the most” and “Of course I’ll be lonely” every time.
As long as the wife is not bored with her husband, she will keep asking “Do you like me?” “Do you love me?” That is to say, if the wife always asks the same question, it means that she likes you very much.
Wives who directly ask “Do you love me?” “Do you like me?” “Am I cute?” belong to the relatively simple type, and this type of wife is easier to deal with. What makes it difficult for men is the wife who asks questions with changing balls, even though she hopes to get a fixed answer. In fact, the vast majority of questions wives ask are change balls. For example, suddenly become indifferent, in a bad mood, not talkative, and then ask “I don’t care about you?” or “Are you not interested in me at all?” or even “I’m not you The upgraded version of “All you need is a nanny”. But in fact, there is only one answer they want, and that is “you are very important to me, and I love you very much”.

4 Reasons Not to Divorce Even So

Women like tacit love, like to be praised and recognized, hope to be regarded as unique, and like to listen to sweet words. For men, these are troublesome things. But women’s awkwardness, tantrums, and nagging are all proof of love. Dear male friends, even if it is to help yourself avoid risks, I hope you can often appease your wives.

Please indicate when reprinting: Bai Huancheng » Excerpt from “How to Understand Your Wife’s Brain Circuit”

This article is reproduced from: https://www.ixiqin.com/2023/08/14/how-to-understand-wifes-brain-circuit/
This site is only for collection, and the copyright belongs to the original author.