Original link: https://mercurychong.blogspot.com/2022/05/vs.html
From the moment of birth, the world has oneself and others, and from that moment on, one’s life of competing with others begins. The most important participants in this battle are: other people’s expectations and one’s own dreams.
When I was young, my parents had various expectations of me, such as wanting to become a doctor or a lawyer.
A little bit older, this other person has evolved into a friend, a colleague, a boss, and even all kinds of people you don’t know. For example, the Mercury Bear will have the same problem when writing articles: when you write about life, some people will say why you don’t write about financial management and investment. When I write about financial management and investment, some people say why don’t you talk about the recent major events in a certain company. After all, it may only be like this once in your life, so why don’t you pay attention to the analysis?
In short, all kinds of strange expectations.
All these aggressive expectations, Mercury Bears boil down to: abduction. Others want to realize the idea of ”their own” by kidnapping “myself”, and if you are a little cowardly, you will succumb, and then let yourself lose yourself in the process of pleasing others, so that you can have everything. no.
Michelangelo once said: The statue is already in the stone, I just remove the unnecessary part. This statue is yourself to everyone, and it is the expectations of the outside world that need to be removed. This carving chisel is an independent personality. If you often reflect on your heart, the time to carve this statue will be shortened.
It is a pity that most people spend their time looking for various decorations, especially using other people’s expectations to decorate the stones they think are ugly.
Remember, don’t spend your energy trying to please others.
Moreover, no matter how much he pleases some people, he will not be satisfied, and even if he keeps trying to change, trying to make him like him, he takes it for granted, not only for granted, but also thinks that you have not done enough.
I personally think that being the most authentic you is the most worthy of others’ attention. If others don’t appreciate your bad side, they don’t deserve your good side.
At a certain point, Mercury Bear almost stopped caring about what others wanted of him on social platforms. Of course, I believe that many fans left in disappointment, but the people who stayed were readers who really supported.
In the relationship between yourself and others, in addition to the struggle between “other people’s expectations” and “own thoughts”, the further problem is: since everyone wants to be themselves, then you can’t ask others to be what you want. the person he wants to be. Otherwise, you are “kidnapping” others.
In this way, you can understand that not everyone can be at their own level of quality. For example, oneself is courteous, others push and shove; oneself humble, others exalt; oneself swallow, others gain an inch.
Whenever you face this kind of time, I believe that you will be angry and angry, and at this moment you may understand that quality can’t be used to ask others, but only to restrain yourself. Because, they also want to “be themselves”, they are that quality level, and you are annoyed because he did not become “the one you expect”.
In addition to quality, there are other people’s mouths.
You can never control other people’s mouths, what other people say, that is entirely his business, because the mouth grows on him, and he has control. What he says is entirely determined by his personal qualities. There is no need to hold grudges or care too much. If you are really upset, go to a lawsuit. Otherwise, what you say or say is the freedom of others. It’s your right to listen to it. If you think about it, your life will be much easier.
Therefore, while getting rid of the “kidnapping” of others, we must also remember not to “kidnapped” others.
In this way, while adhering to their dreams, they also reach reconciliation with the world composed of others. After all, the world can be different from what you expect.
In a word: be alone in your own world, and be at ease in someone else’s world.
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