On the weekend, I went to London on a temporary basis, and I gained a lot:
– There are two heavyweight netizens who are super appreciative under the line
– Reunited with many old London friends
– Recorded a video podcast with American friends
– Watch Guys and Dolls in the West End
– Eat the unforgettable Sunday Roast
– Punch two Caravaggio paintings
Thinking back to the beginning of this year, my good friend’s daughter-in-law repeatedly reminded me: if you have the opportunity to travel, you must say yes! So from March to now, I have followed my intuition and my friends’ call to go to Singapore, Ireland, Holland, Italy, Switzerland , Spain, Czech Republic, Germany and the United Kingdom alone. During this period, I was full of adventures and opportunities, and my own energy was also flowed and released. Next, several countries and cities are waving to me, so let’s embark on the journey with gratitude!
Speaking of returning to London to play this time, by the way, come to the Premier League newly promoted Luton Club to inspect and prepare for the upcoming fantasy Premier League . I had heard about how poor the stadium at Luton was, and it was true to be here in person. The stadium is in a residential area, and the fan entrance is closely connected with the home. If you are a Luton fan, it’s okay to live here. You can watch and listen to the football for free, and you can meet stars when you go out. If you are not a fan, you will not be disturbed to death!
Luton, a small town not far from London, is also very interesting. The smell of curry is everywhere. You can see mostly Indians and Muslims when you look up. You can’t feel that you are in the UK just by looking at the photos. After checking the data, the proportion of white people is already lower than 45%. Of course, this small town is not a special case. The proportion of white people in Leicester, Stoke and Slough in the UK is also terribly low. The immigration and refugee issues have been difficult problems since ancient times. Just look at the policy changes in Europe in the past two years.
The happiest thing in London is to go back to the theater to watch plays, and even participate in them. Followed my friend Vicci to enjoy the American Broadway classic musical “Guys and Dolls” (“Playboy and Pink”). Set on the streets of New York City, the story revolves around gamblers, dancers and street scammers. V and I also participated in the stage performance during the intermission, drinking stage-set cocktails and acting as the audience.
Summarizing the life of the past seven months, I found that the theme of my life this year has been hovering between retro and music. When I sat on the stage and enjoyed the beams of light pouring down on my face, and watched the audience dancing and applauding to the music, I felt like I had traveled back to the golden age of the last century. Just like Woody Allen portrayed in “Midnight in Paris”, each generation of us feels that the life of the previous generation represents a golden age, but our future generations may think that our current life is the real golden age.
People often only remember the good and wonderful moments in the past, while ignoring the unsatisfactory aspects. This kind of “reminiscence selectivity” makes people always feel that the old times are beautiful, while the current life is always surrounded by challenges and problems. Feeling and revisiting the charm of the past is a precious experience, but it is also important to cherish the present and strive to create a beautiful time that belongs to our era. As a small individual, what I can do is to feel with my heart and record the wonderful time that only belongs to our era.
In this comeback program, Sister Qiu chatted with this mysterious guest:
– Talk about the differences between Britain, Europe, Australia and New Zealand, and the similarities between Italian and Greek culture and China
– What is the meaning of travel?
– Why the Catholic Church has become a must-see place for Ms. Qiu to travel in Europe
– Do you believe that everything is preordained?
– Explanation of the latest blog post by Tom Morgan, the mentor of Sister Qiu
– Find the goal you should pursue and live to death
– News from the Netherlands and Germany
– Greek name festivals and a chat about English names
– How to avoid boredom problems when dating?
– Plato’s The Origin of Love
– Talking about cultivating self-confidence and aura
– An interesting experiment in intimacy
– Talk about fitness
– The Four Horsemen Theory by John Gottman, a relationship expert
– The expression of attachment personality in love
– How to break through the siege and find true love?
Listen to the address Apple Podcast:
Humans are not stupid because we are the only conscious beings in the known universe. And our cognitive biases are our hidden superpowers, the tools to exploit them:
Here are 10 examples:
1. Planning fallacy: When we make plans and predict the completion time of tasks, we tend to underestimate the time required, resulting in project delays. Often we are overly optimistic about how long it will take to complete a task, ignoring possible problems, delays, and unforeseen factors.
How to read it: First, choose a time frame that you’re comfortable with, that is, the amount of time you think is reasonably required to complete the task. Then set the due date to half the time originally planned. The beauty of this is that if a planning fallacy occurs, even if the task takes longer than expected, you can still complete it in the time you would otherwise be satisfied with.
2. Loss aversion: People experience pain twice as much about loss as they do about gain.
How to read it: One way is to bet with friends on the positive habits you want to develop, and you’ll connect money and social pain to the positive habits you want to form. By sharing your goals with others, and putting financial and social stakes in them, you’ll increase your commitment to and motivation to stick with positive habits.
3. The Happiness Treadmill: People’s happiness and contentment tend to be in a state of balance where you quickly settle into your dream life before it stops making you happy. Like running on a treadmill, you may feel temporarily excited and satisfied, but once you stop running, your feelings will quickly return to their original state.
How to read it: Visit places like hospital wards, cemeteries, homeless shelters, etc., then compare them to your good life and be content.
4. The Spotlight Effect: Humans are narcissistic, we tend to focus too much on how we look, behave, and say, and mistakenly think that others focus and judge us as much.
How to read it: The people you worry about are too busy thinking about their own affairs to pay much attention to you.
5. Identity Bias: People tend to become slaves to their identities, and may even deny realities that are contrary to their identities.
How to interpret it: Openly acknowledging yourself as a person whose identity doesn’t matter means acknowledging that you are not confined to a particular definition of identity. Identity bias drives us to achieve and maintain our own identities. This conceptual shift helps reduce over-attachment and identification with identity, allowing us to think and act more openly and flexibly.
6. Imitation of desire: Your desire is not your own, but an imitation of those around you.
How to read it: We can use the mechanism of mimicking desires to shape our own desires and lifestyles, by being in the company of those who have the desires and lifestyles you wish to have.
7. Filter bubbles: Under the influence of social media algorithms, human beings enter the information cocoon and form a bias in the understanding of information.
How to read it: Try liking every dog photo you see on social media. Within 48 hours, your feed will be flooded with pictures of dogs.
8. Reciprocity Bias: Our compulsion to reciprocate favors from others.
How to read: Give before you take. And don’t ask or expect anything in return until you’ve given at least 5 times. With this kind of reciprocal relationship with others, people will be more willing to interact with you and reciprocate your kindness, thus playing an infinite game together.
9. Confirmation bias: Our tendency to seek out and accept evidence that supports our existing beliefs, while ignoring or rejecting evidence that contradicts it.
How to interpret it: Deliberately train to state contrary beliefs throughout the day, that is, consciously express opinions and thoughts that are contrary to our original beliefs, and only allow ourselves to look for evidence of contrary beliefs. Also, create mental characters with opposing beliefs to help us better understand and think about different perspectives.
10. Availability bias: When we make judgments and decisions, we tend to rely more on examples and information that appear in our recent memory. This means that we are more easily influenced by the instances that stick in our minds, while ignoring the wider message and context.
How to read it: By designing the environment, we can make positive behaviors continuously available, such as healthy food and exercise, as the norm of daily life, making them easier to choose and implement. At the same time, we can avoid being affected by negative behaviors by reducing or eliminating their availability, such as staying away from tempting unhealthy foods or limiting our exposure to negative social media content.
Whether things are good or bad, interpretation depends on people, and you can change reality by reinterpreting things. And because reality is reflexive, this way of thinking will not only change your worldview, but your reality as well.
– Your curiosity never deceives you and leads you to the things that deserve your attention. Curiosity is your best guide.
– There are four steps to doing great work: pick a field; dig deep into it; spot a gap; explore the field. This is the approach taken by almost everyone who does great work, from painters to physicists.
– Curiosity is the key to the above four steps: it will choose the field for you, guide you to continue to cultivate, let you notice the gaps in it, and drive you to explore and innovate. The whole process of achieving great work is a dance with curiosity.
– The job you choose needs to have three qualities: it has to be something you are naturally good at; it has to be something you have a deep interest in; and the job offers you the opportunity to do great projects.
– Three of the most powerful human motivations are curiosity, pleasure and the desire to do something impressive. Sometimes they converge, when the momentum is at its strongest.
– Following your interests may sound like a rather passive strategy, but in reality, it usually means overcoming various obstacles to follow them.
– When you go for a walk, take a shower, or lie in bed, you have some sort of wandering thought that is very powerful. By allowing your mind to wander, you will solve problems that cannot be solved by positive responses.
– Curiosity is both the engine and the helmsman for great work. Not only will it drive you to do things, but if you let it run free, it will give you direction on what problems to tackle.
– What are you so curious about that would bore most people? That’s what you’re looking for.
– So try asking yourself: If you were to take a break from serious work to do something really interesting, what would you do? This answer may be more important than it seems.
– Unanswered questions are always uncomfortable. But the more you think about it, the better your chances of solving it. Even more exciting was the discovery that the answers to the two unanswered questions were actually the same.
A recent tweet from my mentor also got me thinking: If you are a brain worker, how can you create something of lasting value? How do you want to leave a legacy for the world and positively impact the lives of others, so what kind of information is most valuable to create?
The Danish author Tor Nørretranders once described in his book “The User Illusion” two factors that generate the greatest value:
– The amount of information that was thrown away in order to create something (eg: I read 60 books to write this short article).
– The time it took to create something (eg: I spent four years thinking about this problem).
These two methods convert a large amount of entropy into more concentrated information, thereby creating a lot of value. We call this highly condensed information “wisdom.” We can use this framework to evaluate all the information we are consuming or creating.
If you want to create something of value, one way is to synthesize a large amount of information, and then condense and simplify only its key information; the other way is to spend a long time working hard on a certain problem. And my mentor Tom is committed to providing valuable information to people working in the financial field, welcome to pay attention to his mail subscription: https://whatsimportant.substack.com/
Attached is the original article by Paul Graham: http://paulgraham.com/greatwork.html
A week of miscellaneous thoughts
You think that I practice CrossFit to strengthen my body, but in fact, I mainly cultivate my mind. Overcoming the fear of heavy weight and gymnastics every day, convincing myself that I can actually grit my teeth and insist on doing one more rep, and then I really achieved it.
Now following Teacher Faxin to the “Relaxation” advanced course , I feel the greatness of the mind again, and I understand more and more the “reality distortion” that Jobs could produce during meditation.
The reason why I am so lucky is that I continue to manifest the direction of my heart. Although most of the time I still tend to fall into a messy state, but realizing this has been a great improvement.
Cultivating the mind and character is a lifetime task, and everything in my current life revolves around this theme.
2. I recently learned a new trick to seduce people: use music! From time to time, send the other party an unpopular playlist you like, remember it is a playlist! Straight hair single is not easy to press the right treasure! A playlist starting from 15 songs has a great chance to resonate. And when the other party is playing songs, they will definitely think of you from time to time.
3. When chatting with a friend, he saw that I knew a lot of interesting people, so he asked me what is my strategy for making friends. I was stunned, how tired people are to live now, even making friends requires a strategy… Isn’t it enough for people to meet and get along with each other through fate?
People coming and going are out of our control, we don’t need to climb up or down, and there is no need to sacrifice ourselves to force others to stay. If there is a destiny, we will spend a journey together, but if there is no destiny, it will be useless to spend effort. And what level your energy reaches during this process will naturally attract friends who resonate with the same frequency.
In the past, I always felt lonely but not lonely. It was because I closed myself in a circle and deliberately isolated myself from the outside world. After re-opening the social mode this year, I found that I can get a lot of sympathy in short conversations with strangers, and meeting lovely community readers feels that they are here to answer my questions instead.
Human emotions are common, it depends on whether you are willing to open your heart to others to understand you, and whether you have the patience to understand the complex individuals in front of you.
4. Many talk show performers are venomous and dark on stage, but they are actually warm and kind people in life; and writers who often send positive energy may be sociopaths who don’t give af*** about anything. People are complex and changeable, and it is narrow and superficial to define a person by the side they show (especially on public platforms). However, how can a person have so much time to understand everyone he meets? Timing is very important, and it is normal for people to come and go. When you meet people who have a chemical reaction with each other, give them full attention. This is the only thing you should do.
5. People who can play are the cutest!
Many people think that “playing” is very simple, but if you really want to play every day, you may feel scared and bored after a while. It is because you fundamentally think that playing is not doing your job properly, so you will feel anxious after playing for a while, feel sorry, and quickly want to find something else to do.
It is estimated that adults have heard such words: “They are so old, and they still play with dolls and games.” Chicken roll babies are not allowed to play since they were young.
Life is a game, if you can’t play it, you can only be an NPC, so it’s so boring. In the past 30 years, I played very well by myself. Recently, I met so many people who can’t play. I suddenly had the urge to play with others to practice numbers. Let’s start playing in Europe. Friends who are destined to play are welcome to play!
This article is transferred from: https://www.camelliayang.com/blog/london-podcast-mental-model
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