Original link: https://ljf.com/2023/05/20/1252/
You can ask yourself, in your growth process, who told you that learning and awareness must be combined with your experience? If not, what you have learned is other people’s knowledge, not your own.
“Respect your own feelings.”
Can you, like Jobs, realize early on: “The most important thing is to have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Your heart and intuition know who you really want to be. Everything else is secondary of.”
Our society has a strong tendency to drive your soul out of your body and let other people’s souls inhabit it.
Both joy and pain must involve the body. If life has a lot of joy, you will not want to sever the link with the body; but if life has a lot of pain, it is easy for you to want to sever the link with the body.
To enrich your life, to crack the rules of your life game, you must reconnect with your body, open a channel between mind and body. When you do this, you will discover that life really can be free.
Part 1 Return to your physical sense
When certain emotions or thoughts arise in our minds, we are often unwilling to accept them and try to suppress them. This suppression is often successful, and we are really unaware of their existence. However, they did not disappear, but were repressed into the subconscious mind. And, they will certainly seek their own unique means of expression. Expressing through the body is the most common way.
Physical health cannot be pursued just by pursuing it, nor can it be pursued only on the physical level, because the mind and body echo each other, and true health should achieve harmony between the mind and body.
Most cancer patients have one thing in common: they suppress a certain aspect of their emotions. It could be anger, it could be sadness, it could be guilt, it could be something else.
We cannot pursue health purely from a physical point of view, but must also learn to listen to and respect the inner voice.
2. The beauty of body echo
For a long time, due to the dual influence of materialism and scientific thinking, in the so-called three categories of body and mind, the body has been increasingly reduced to a pure material machine.
Buddhism says to use the three treasures carefully. The so-called three treasures are eyes, ears and mouth. These three seem to make it easy for us to communicate, but only these three levels of communication are the Tower of Babylon. You can’t hear each other, and neither can the other party. I hear you. Only when you give up your dependence on the Three Jewels can you achieve empathy and get out of the fatal loneliness.
3. The body knows the answer to the mind
How can you create a real sense of connection with others? A very simple answer is to get in touch with your own body first. That is, first develop your own body wisdom, and try to use your body to listen to the messages sent by others. Cognitive links are often fantasy links, while physical links are real links.
The biggest obstacle when doing hypnosis is that hypnotists focus too much on technique and fail to establish non-verbal links.
If only the mind is used, there will be a tower of Babylon among people in the Bible, in which everyone speaks a different language, and true cooperation cannot occur. Longing to be close to others, we can only end up in loneliness.
The mind is lonely. If you try to understand each other through the mind in interpersonal relationships, then this understanding must be very limited , and it can even be said bluntly, it is a narcissistic illusion.
The German philosopher Eckhart Tolle also mentioned some simple methods in his book “The Power of Now”: 1. When a certain part of your body is uncomfortable, be aware of it, just be aware of it, and do nothing Analyze and imagine. 2. Before getting up every morning, spend 15 minutes carefully observing your body, from feet to head, and then from head to toe, don’t worry, try to perceive every subtle part.
4. Feelings: The key to breaking down inner barriers
Xiao Zheng’s story is a classic, it fully illustrates why we are afraid of some things. In fact, what we are afraid of is not the thing itself, but the feeling that the thing makes us. Moreover, the reason why we are afraid of the feeling that an event brings to us is often because this event is very similar to something in the past, which arouses a certain feeling in us before.
One of the core contents of Wang Yangming’s philosophy is “unity of knowledge and action”. The key reason why he can achieve this is that there is no contradiction in his heart. The reason why we ordinary people cannot achieve “unity of knowledge and action” is because our inner There are all kinds of contradictions in life, because of these contradictions, we have two or more motivations when we act, so the ability to act is greatly reduced, and we cannot achieve the unity of knowledge and action.
If we can finally discover that we can be in any position, then we will break down all the obstacles in our hearts and gain full freedom, then we will be able to achieve the unity of knowledge and action.
5. Nurture your inner protective space
When faced with challenges, we are prone to anxiety or distress. At that time, it is easy for us to focus on the outside, trying to grasp something, hoping that these external resources will help us face what temporarily seems to be beyond ourselves. Coping with capacity challenges. However, the more we do this, the more we feel out of control.
The most effective way is to first get a connection with your inner self, find your own center of gravity, and then use this connection to think about problems.
Now, she has applied the technique of “acting with awareness of the problem” many times, and has learned many completely different ways to solve the problem.
The more awareness you put into your body, the stronger your immune system becomes, as if every cell is activated and jumping with joy. Your body loves your attention, and it’s also a powerful self-healing system. When you don’t inhabit your body, most diseases will take advantage of it. Various characters will move in if the host is absent for an extended period of time. When you’re in your body, it’s hard for unwelcome “guests” to invade.
6. Follow your feelings and be yourself
The difference between outstanding people and ordinary people is first of all the difference in the mechanism of psychological evaluation. Excellent people have an internal psychological evaluation mechanism, and ordinary people have an external psychological evaluation mechanism. Excellent people look for answers from themselves, always listen to their inner voice, and follow the command of intuition.
Three months later, all 10 of her wishes came true. After returning, she told Teacher Shu that although these 10 wishes were not difficult to achieve, after realizing these wishes from the bottom of her heart, she felt that her whole person had changed. Just be yourself. Thoughts of suicide have completely disappeared. Although the pain of divorce is still there, it will never hurt so deeply.
Since the internal evaluation system is the healthiest, why do most people form an external evaluation system? Shu Junlin quoted his most admired Rogers’ point of view and said that this is because when growing up, the positive attention people get is conditional positive attention, but rarely unconditional positive attention. The logic of conditional positive attention is: You must do A before I can give you B. B can be a material reward or a spiritual reward. Under the influence of conditioned positive attention, a person develops the experience of expressing only “good” (or “acceptable”) or being rejected and hurt. A person’s growth is a process of continuous learning and revision of “how to partially express oneself”, and finally a set of external evaluation system is formed.
The vast majority of psychological problems are caused by ignoring or even distorting one’s own inner experience. The inner strength is the most powerful. When we care too much about other people’s opinions, we lose our freedom, our self-power becomes weaker and weaker, and finally we become overly sensitive to external changes.
Only living experience can change a person’s subconscious mind, and no matter how perfect the theory is, without the support of living experience, it will have no effect at all.
Three Efforts to Help You “Be Yourself”
1. Stay away from the persona
Family, school, society and culture have arranged many “good templates” for us. However, these templates are not necessarily consistent with our healthy growth. We accept them in order to get rewards, but they seem to be an inelastic mask Pasted on our faces, which in turn restricts our inner freedom and also restricts our healthy growth.
Masks could be more adaptable to families, work units, and even society, but that’s not proven to be the case.
2. Stay away from “should”
Many people, because their parents gave them too much conditional positive attention, eventually formed some strong ideas, such as “I should be good” and “I must be good”, but they want to be good at a certain thing. The purpose of being “good” in life is actually to win the love of parents, not to enjoy the happiness of the matter itself.
The more “should” there are, the less freedom of mind a person will have. The stronger a person’s inner voice is, the less he cares about what other people think.
A person who is dominated by an external evaluation system, his method is rational, and he carefully calculates success or failure. But for those who are dominated by the inner evaluation system, his method is to rely on intuition, to listen to and obey his inner voice.
3. No longer meeting the expectations of others
Many people try to form themselves by pleasing others, but if they are free, they will stay away from this way.
7. Respect for who you really are
Equality is to look at and respect your own current state as it is, not to be proud even if it is good, not to blame yourself even if it is normal, and not to compare it with other people’s state.
Equality, replaced by my own favorite words, is to respect my current state, respect what is happening in my heart, and never stay away from my heart no matter how much pressure there is from the outside world.
Unfortunately, most of us usually have no respect for our own real existence, nor the real existence of others, but live in imagination, not only wishing to live in the imaginary world, but also wanting others to live in the imaginary world . If it is different from what you imagined, you will not only want to use violence against yourself, but also want to use violence against others.
See the dispute as it is and resolve it realistically. On the contrary, it is very taboo to go online at every turn, with the goal of destroying the opponent. Moreover, in order to achieve the goal of eliminating the other party, they even resorted to the power that they originally resisted or even hated.
The real basis of totalitarianism is that in a group, when dealing with disputes, everyone likes to go above and beyond, and too fond of extreme partisanship and dissent.
8. Break through the protective layers of the mind
How do you protect yourself when you are injured? This is an excellent question.
Our hearts have three layers: the protective layer, the hurt, and the true self. The outermost layer is the protective layer, the next is the pain, and the deepest is the real self.
Breaking through the protective layers and facing the pain takes courage at first, but in the end it pays great dividends.
Part 2 Crack your mind game
Because I am dissatisfied with A, I go to -A; because I am dissatisfied with -A, I go to A again. This is a common reincarnation. Another common reincarnation is that because you didn’t get A or lost A, you are constantly pursuing A.
Even if we don’t express our thoughts consciously, it can have a great impact on future generations.
The generation of a thought is nothing but greed and hatred. Greed is the wish to relive a particular kind of happiness; hatred is the wish never to experience a particular kind of pain again.
Therefore, no matter how beautiful your thoughts, ideas, slogans and declarations are, don’t be too attached to them. You must be aware of them and see how they are produced.
10. Demons who break through the mind
Once the attention is taken away from the mind, the channel from the body to the spirit opens, and the answer always comes through this channel.
The inner demon is empty, but the body is real. Teacher Deng said that when we shift our attention from the mind to the body, we actually leave the illusory world and enter the real world. At this time, things will become different. Every step you take is very solid.
We, as individuals, are often hostile or fearful because of our lack of trust in the world.
In the past, I tended to view dreams as magical, thinking that most of them were revealing the truth, but now I have a more moderate view, thinking that some dreams are revealing, but most dreams are more like making up stories
Perhaps the easiest way to elicit feelings is to plunge into the flow of the real world.
Many people would think that they should wait until they get better before living a good life, but it may be more desirable to live actively with psychological problems.
11. Fighting pain is the main source of pain
These experiences convinced me that an experience, no matter how much pain it brings me, as long as I sink into the pain without any resistance, experience it, and look at it, then it will melt and disappear after half an hour at most. transform.
What exactly is pain? For example, is it painful to lose a loved one? no. It’s just a fact, and the experiences surrounding that fact can be painful.
It is not the event that causes the experience, but your perception of the event that causes the experience.
Simply put, we fight our pain with our thoughts and end up falling in love with our thoughts, which causes all kinds of problems.
“Is it the fact that your father bought the lottery ticket itself caused more pain, or did your efforts to eliminate him cause more pain?”
The pain caused by rhinitis to my sister is far less than the pain caused by her wanting to eliminate rhinitis
When pain comes, the more I stay still, the better. While staying still, I will pay attention to the changes in my heart, but I never guide this change, I just watch it.
You will discover how crazy your mind is and how it uses your fear to take over you and make you dread the slightest bit of pain.
I found that as my awareness of my body became stronger, my tolerance to physical pain became stronger, as if there was an additional inner observer looking at my body, me and the pain of my body It’s like a little more distance. It’s a weird feeling because I’m actually getting more and more sensitive to these pains.
12. Smooth your inner hook
If you have a fighting spirit in your heart, it will also arouse the opponent’s fighting spirit; if you lose your temper, the opponent will not be calm, so you must show favor to the opponent. Once you are honest with each other, the other person will not be defensive and can listen to you. This is the truth that took me 15 years to realize. No matter how much I talk about it in the future, it will not arouse people’s resentment.
This little story reflects why we love to use the “you…” sentence pattern. Because, when using this sentence pattern, it means that it is not me, but you, who are responsible for everything that happens.
Much of the anger or aggression in the world, especially in intimate relationships, is an illusion created as a defense against the fear of not being loved.
“They do this to you because they can do this to you.”
I explained that everyone likes to do useful things rather than ineffective things. If your subordinates find that they can disrespect you, they will disrespect you more and more.
In other words, if you only treat your subordinates with patience, no airs, and full consideration of the needs of the other party, without any strong means, then you are teaching your subordinates to disrespect you.
If you just experience a certain feeling purely, this feeling will eventually be dissolved, and the various complexes hidden behind this feeling will disappear once discovered.
Through this kind of self-understanding and understanding of each other, our hearts will become peaceful, we will not blindly climb or be climbed, and there will be compassion and tolerance in our hearts. At this time, the other party is not only unable to project anger, but may also be influenced.
No matter what you encounter, you must first maintain the inner link with yourself. Specifically, you must first withdraw part of your attention to yourself, to feel your own body, and maintain a physical and inner balance.
No matter what situation you encounter, first draw your attention back to yourself.
13. Be wary of the dreaded wish-fulfilment
An adult’s life, no matter how unfortunate, is the result of his own pursuit.
Expressing not-so-right dynamics in sick ways is very common. Many people want to control their loved ones, but they can’t directly say, I just want you to listen to me, so they use the way of getting sick, the most common way is heart disease.
We want health, happiness and joy, but we want the world to run according to our own will. However, you cannot have both fish and bear’s paw. Health, happiness and joy are fish, but imposing one’s will on this world is bear’s paw. Countless people choose the latter.
Our business structure is also the result of our wishes come true.
An easy way to get rid of these bad thoughts is to be aware. In fact, many terrible wishes come true, and the parties involved know what happened in the first place.
14. Know Your Game of Life
According to the theory of psychology, the reason why he has such an encounter is because he has an inner relationship model of “a vigilant inner child” and “an inner other who often persecutes” in his heart. His external relationship model, however, It is a natural manifestation of this inner relationship pattern.
After a round of projection and introjection, we may become more tolerant, calm, flexible, and trusting, or we may become narrower, anxious, paranoid, and suspicious. A key factor in determining where we are going is awareness.
We must understand that everything we see outside is the result of our inner projection , and we must have such a clear awareness. With this awareness, we will not easily blame others, and blindly push the responsibility for things on others or other things, but know that we must first look at ourselves.
If you don’t want to look inward, it must be because there is something very painful inside you. If the inner pain is too strong, it usually requires a very safe environment, such as the deep trust relationship established between the psychologist and the client, so that a person is willing to face it, otherwise, what we are more willing to do is to take it projected out.
Most of my articles point to this point – know yourself, be aware of your inner psychological process, and don’t get lost in your external world. Because the outside world you see is actually a psychological game projected from your own heart.
I remember when I was studying psychoanalysis in Shanghai in 2007, a female classmate said that she went to a German teacher for treatment, but the German teacher said that she did not need treatment. She was surprised, why everyone else needs it, but she doesn’t? The German teacher replied that because she had a good inner awareness of herself, which is what psychoanalytic treatment is meant to do, but she already had this and therefore did not need treatment.
15. Psychological problems are a choice
All our pessimistic and negative thoughts or beliefs are traps, and we are nostalgic for each of our pessimistic and negative thoughts or beliefs, because these traps have actually done us a lot of good.
No matter how bad a habit may seem, don’t hate it because it protected you in the first place.
16. Give what you want first
If you want anything, you first give it away, to someone else. “
If you want to have a kind of partner, you must first plant the corresponding seeds in your heart, “Your perfect partner is created by you from your own heart”. Not only that, but even everything around you “is made through your imprint; the world around you, the people around you, even yourself, are the products of past actions, words and thoughts, good or bad.”
Luo Chu said that the password of true love is “what you want your partner to do, you do it yourself first”.
If you want your partner to stop being angry, you have to stop being angry first, you have to stop first, don’t wait for him to stop, he is a mirror of yourself. You first have to stop being angry. Don’t be angry with your partner, and don’t beg him, say don’t be angry, don’t be angry, don’t be angry. You just extinguish the anger in your heart. Just like that, you keep doing it for a week or two, and your partner’s anger will go away, and that’s the only way to stop your partner’s anger.
Get to know yourself seriously, and say to yourself over and over again, only I know myself.
Often, we focus too much on other people and unconsciously think that they are our answers, when the real answer is always in us.
Part 3 Dive into the Well of Your Subconscious
There is no answer in the consciousness or in the mind, if he asks the mind “what should I do”, then he cannot find the answer, but whenever he asks his deeper inner subconscious, the subconscious can always tell him the answer.
Compared with Erickson, the average person has much more gifts of fate. However, maybe we have too many things, but we like to complain, why don’t I have enough? Why is fate so unfair to me?
Erickson, on the contrary, is always grateful for what he has, and he is always enjoying the resources he has instead of focusing on what he lacks.
Many people see some of their “problems” as enemies and try to eliminate them, but Erickson instead advises them to accept their “problems” and dance with them in a more graceful way
The meaning of Chinese calligraphy, you have to express it very powerfully, through the back of the paper, but at the same time not damage the paper. It’s also like playing the piano, you can pound the keys hard, but when you strike with grace, what comes out is a tune instead of noise.
At the heart of Erickson’s hypnotherapy is trust in the subconscious mind.
We are usually in a state of looking for an answer, and as a result, the muscles are stressed, which is called tension. But when we fully trust our subconscious mind and our inner spirituality, our body will relax. At this time, we pass through the body composed of muscles and enter the “inner body”, or “inner spiritual body”. Space”, and the answer will naturally arise from this space, we just need to be curious about it.
When you don’t know what to do, just try to relax and say to your subconscious mind, please teach me.
18. Awaken your soul with a genius strategy
By mimicking the mind, body, and mind patterns of geniuses, it helps us consciously transform our bad state into the best state we’ve ever been.
Mozart said: “I have never really studied or pursued ideas…Music does not come from me, music comes through me
“It’s not about removing the ‘bad me’, not using the ‘good me’ to eliminate the ‘bad me’, not eliminating and struggling, but accepting and transforming.”
First thing, put yourself aside, put those ‘I want’ thoughts aside, and remember Mozart’s strategy, ‘These things happen only through me, not by me’. “
He said: “Every disease is an expression. When we suppress something and don’t allow it to express on a mental and spiritual level, it expresses itself through the body. This is a disease of the body. It can be said that every Symptoms, it’s all part of the self saying ‘no,’ but we don’t listen to the message and it ends up having to be expressed in destructive ways.”
Life is constantly calling us in various ways, listen and honor your soul, if we do this then we can all be geniuses.
19. Ask what your illness wants to say
When you find that something is wrong with your body, ask yourself, if this symptom could speak, what would it say?
We often talk about body, mind and soul. A person’s health must be the harmony of the three. The so-called mind, body, that is, the body, mind and spirit. Of the three, the mind can also be considered as consciousness or thinking.
Rogers said that sincerity has two meanings, one is that what you say is consistent with what you think, which is called not deceiving others, and the other is that what you think is consistent with what you experience, which is called not self-deception. There are quite a lot of people who can achieve the first level of sincerity, but there are very few people who can achieve the second level of sincerity. The reason for this situation may be that we are too dependent on the mind, and the mind can easily deceive itself.
20. Work on your sixth sense
We long for love, yet we are all so wrapped up in our egos that we narcissistically think we are the center of the world and try to impose our egos on those around us. And the more important a person is to us, the stronger our motivation to impose is. Therefore, the desire for love becomes the spiritual life that suppresses each other.
But in fact, we live in a world where telepathy is happening all the time. We are influencing each other all the time, but we don’t realize it. telepathy is around
A good psychotherapist will not use analysis lightly, let alone comment, but will communicate with clients based on his own feelings, and a therapist who knows himself well, most of the feelings in the counseling environment are The result of the client’s projection, so he can capture these feelings, that is, he can understand the visitor, and when he gives these feelings back to the visitor, he also helps the visitor understand himself more clearly.
We trust our minds too much, and our minds trust two sources of information too much: the five common senses and language.
24. Find your own truth
The truth realized by others is only his own truth, not your truth.
Any theory is a vague framework, and its value lies in whether it can elicit some of your feelings, and each feeling will open a door for you to discover yourself more deeply.
Therefore, don’t be superstitious about any theory. A good theory naturally has a system, but this building is unreliable. Its value is not for you to worship, so that you will lose yourself. Its value is to help you awaken your own feelings. And every feeling ignites yourself.
Respect your current state and your current feelings, this is what I have repeatedly emphasized. But the interesting thing is that feelings are really fickle, because when you really honor a feeling, it melts away and then a deeper level of feeling arises. And, it seems like it’s going to be an infinite process, and you end up in something really magical.
In fact, seeing one feeling or perception as true and another as false is what causes the problem. When we perceive one feeling or perception as true, we allow it to be conscious, and when we perceive another feeling or perception as wrong, we do not allow it to be conscious and repress it to the subconsciously.
I have heard many stories, and found a common truth: If a person has dissatisfaction, anger or even hatred for the relatives who should be loved, then allow the dissatisfaction, anger and even hatred to surge in the heart, allow them to be in a space that is not criticized The memory exists, these so-called negative emotions will melt and dissolve, and finally the love will flow again, and the love at that time is the real love.
25. Find your lost self
When your emotions are triggered, focusing on yourself, rather than the person who touched your emotions, is the beginning of building inner strength.
Stay connected to yourself at all times and consciously come back when you find yourself disconnected.
If we lose our connection with ourselves, we will try our best to connect with others, and others will be far more important to us than ourselves.
First, we need to bring the focus back to ourselves. Sadly, most people’s focus is not on themselves. When most people find a psychiatrist, they are not talking about themselves in front of the psychiatrist, but their relatives, the most common ones are spouses, children or parents.
It is necessary for the mind to function in harmony with the body, and if the mind is not in harmony with the body, or even the exact opposite, then sooner or later a man will find that his body refuses to be directed by his mind.
Rogers said: “I am the sum of all past experiences.” Therefore, to stay away from your own experience means to stay away from yourself, and to get in touch with your own experience means to start returning to yourself.
You don’t have to do something important, you just need to pay attention to how you feel about some details in your life at the beginning.
In fact, at any moment, we are establishing a connection with the world, and the channel for establishing connection is our feeling, and feeling is the proof that we are in this world. “
When you find that you are a little out of control, or you have focused your attention on others, you can immediately pull your attention back and put your attention on the Dantian position of the lower abdomen, or the position of the heart.
Gilligan believes that a very common reason why we desperately connect with others is that we have uncomfortable feelings in our own bodies at this time. In order to escape this feeling, we focus on others or other things. But in fact, most of the time, if we get in touch with our feelings, it doesn’t take too long for these uncomfortable feelings to transform.
Getting in touch with your body, with your inner self, is a wonderful thing and a long journey.
26. Resoluteness without hostility
Awareness and acceptance are the best ways to melt the iceberg of negative emotions.
One principle for resolving this contradiction is what I often refer to as “gentle but firm.” The first is firmness, that is, I stick to my position and will not change no matter what; the second is gentleness, no matter what emotions the other party has or what they do, my emotions are gentle and will not get out of control.
If you think that the hostility of the other party is aimed at you, then you will also have hostility, which is difficult to avoid, but if you try to stand on the other side’s point of view, feel what he feels, think what he thinks, then you will easily You will understand him, and then you will have different emotions.
Wang Yangming has a famous saying: “This heart does not move, it moves randomly.” For this sentence, my understanding is that my heart is empty, I have no desire at this moment, but when your heart moves, I will know, I will understand, and at the same time I will see all the emptiness in it, so I can act on it.
The reason why we bury a lot of hostility is not that human nature is evil, but that human nature is suppressed too much.
We view some behaviors or emotions as acceptable and expressible, and others as unacceptable and not expressible. As a result, too many things have accumulated in our hearts, and these things will be hidden in the subconscious. As a result, once some information hits these things hidden in the subconscious, they will be activated, and we will lose control and show hostility that we cannot control. The so-called loss of control means that the subconscious mind temporarily controls itself.
Resolute without hostility, that’s really something we can do.
27. Give the mind a moment of peace every day
I don’t know if you have experienced it, but if your heart reaches an empty space first, then the intuition that comes immediately will be very clear, sharp and penetrating, and it is very trustworthy.
The more horrific the person’s behavior, the more pitiful their heart is.
When we are engrossed, we forget ourselves. Concentrating on it turns out to be a kind of empty space.
Perhaps the reason we are afraid to enter the void is because we think that once we enter the void, we will encounter this terrible feeling-I am not worthy of love
28. Empty the inner noise
Learning characters not by thinking, but by feeling , is not just a special education method for special children. In fact, this is far better than using thinking to learn words, and it is also the key to the popular Montessori early childhood education method, Waldorf early childhood education method and other educational methods.
In fact, the key is feeling, because real thinking ability is always based on feeling, and thinking without feeling is not independent thinking, but repeating the dogma instilled by others.
Our ancestors valued this truth very much. Many words such as “experience”, “experience”, “experience” and “experiment” are used to say that a truth must be realized through your own body, otherwise this truth is not yours. reason.
Current relationship patterns are reproductions of childhood relationship patterns
Try it, start from any moment that touches you, try to look inward, you may start a life that truly belongs to you
29. Get your body and mind back into flow
People are weak, so be aware and let yourself settle down. The problem is with yourself, not with others.
The so-called experience is to understand through the body.
An insulator cannot sing and dance. To be able to sing and dance well, you must allow your feelings to flow naturally in your body and mind.
In this regard, Mr. Gilligan has a vivid description. He said that when a child wants to express anything, he will have a rhythm, such as “la, la, la”, then parents can return to the same rhythm ” La, la, la”, this kind of rhythmic resonance will form a field between parents and children. In this way, feelings not only flow on the children, but also flow in the relationship field between parents and children.
我们的管道之所以能保持畅通，是因为我们发现这样子可以被别人接受；我们的管道之所以关闭，是因为我们觉得这样子别人不会接受。
30. 重塑自我意象改变人生
在这个地球上，不经你允许，任何人都无法让你觉得低人一等。
每个人的内心都有一幅用来描绘自己的精神蓝图或“心像”。对我们的意识来说，这幅图像可能模糊不清、朦朦胧胧、不甚分明，甚至一个人的意识根本没有觉察到它的存在，但它的确就在那里，完完全全，纤毫毕现。
这些关于自己的看法，大多数都是根据我们过去的经历、我们的成与败、我们的荣与辱以及别人对我们的反应，尤其是童年时代的早期经历，而无意识地形成的。
罗杰斯对“自我”的定义是：自我就是过去一切体验的总和。
在我的理解中，关于“自我”的一切内容都是先在关系中发生的，即，先是“我”与某个人发生了一件事情，而“我”将这个事情所带来的一切体验当成了“我”的一部分。于是，先是别人怎么看自己，而最终，“我”也接纳了别人对自己的看法。
如果某人认为自己是“失败者”，那么无论动机多好，意志力多坚强，他总能找到失败的方式，即便机遇来临，他也会失之交臂。
要想改变一个人的一生，关键不是去做积极的暗示，而是重塑自我意象。
把目标交给潜意识我们都渴望“梦想成真”，而我现在认为，宇宙或上帝是非常慷慨的，你的愿望一定会实现，问题是，你是否真的只有这样一个愿望？
只要你的目标很单纯，或者说，你真的设立了一个目标，潜意识就自动会帮助你实现它。
只要你设定了一个目标，你就可以将其交给潜意识去工作，这时你甚至不需要努力，反而越放松越好。当然，为了更深地唤醒潜意识的力量，你需要通过努力去积攒一些素材，这些素材会是线索，可以更好地激活潜意识，这样潜意识可以更好地帮你实现这个目标。
实际上，播放“精神电影”已成为很多体育训练的办法。美国学者就篮球运动做过一个实验，一部分人通过实战练习投篮，另一部分人通过想象练习投篮，而经过相同时间的练习后，结果发现，两批人的投篮成功率不相上下。
先去塑造一个自我意象，而后这个自我意象就会在现实中展现出来。
本文转自： https://ljf.com/2023/05/20/1252/
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