Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/10/30/7669/
△ 303.5｜Three women in one play
Articles these days are more or less revolving around women because I have no fucking choice but to observe them.
The rabble of women can easily form a “strong bond”, they can find a common goal in the shortest possible time, and maintain it as a guideline. But the interior of the rabble itself is very unstable, a mode of survival and the best way to maintain balance.
I don’t intend to provoke feminism, but in fact, the rabble formed by women is indeed easy to be driven by emotions, so some relatively common pictures will happen – when a woman shows her cowardice, she will receive all kinds of comments about you. It can be cowardly but it also needs strong encouragement. For example, when a woman expresses that she has a headache, a group of people will gather around to deal with her headache. As long as there is a woman standing by, then they will have some kind of “blemish” among the rabble – you see When Sister Ziwang had a headache, those few people just sat there and didn’t care. How could there be such a person in our team!
Why is everyone in the rabble of women Mother Teresa or Our Lady of the Redeemer? I’m asking this question right now, though again it’s a topic of no research value, because the rabble that relies on emotions for maintenance is bound to get caught in these vicious circles.
Generally speaking, the savior personality (I call it Teresa personality) will be unable to help others. The biggest problem with this kind of help is that they do not have any “boundary”, and even use their kindness and kindness. Violating the social barriers of others with a feeling of rescue.
To put it simply, some people actually have a very strong phobia of human contact, and do not like to be touched by strangers. But in most of the female rabble, they will emphasize “acceptance”, “hug” and “acceptance of the love of strangers”, so they will invade the space of others and release kindness – they don’t actually have any malice, they even feel This is someone who provides love and enthusiasm to a person, and can also receive love and enthusiasm in return.
Then, people who are only integrated into the rabble will inevitably feel “unfamiliar”, so these ways of hugging, talking, and even crying in public are called “breaking the ice”. If there are still people who resist the good intentions released by the members of the mob at this time, they will actually be influenced by the dogma of the mob – you fear strangers because you have closed your heart, so you don’t love yourself at all; the other is emergency response , they would label the person a “heretic”, thereby excluding him as a mob.
Therefore, when they entered the rabble and became one of them, they had to give up their sense of space in order to “survive” – of course, among the rabble, they even gave up their IQ.
Well, our scene is basically ready, then we can put the basic elements of “Teresa’s personality” into such a rabble – who has a strong savior complex?
Let’s start with the mode of operation of the rabble. When these women enter the rabble and become one of them, they need a kind of “survival” and “identity”, and of course all those who sit by and do nothing while “unleashing kindness” and the image of Theresa are the norm People must be the minority among the rabble, and even the ones who will be liquidated in the future. In order to keep themselves in the rabble and not be excluded or hostile, they must try to find a clear identity from the rabble-when a group of people surrounds the woman with a headache, someone is the “mother god” who presides over the overall situation. , And the dog legs are “offices”, they act on behalf of the will of the “big mother goddess”, they are proud of being able to speculate the idea of ”the mother goddess”, to show that they are closest to the “will of the gods”; take the woman with a headache as the center of the circle, and then Extending outwards, they are the “apostles” who cannot join in, but must show their identity. They already have a certain “identity” among the rabble, and they must show a positive attitude, but they cannot provide any “suggestions” , because they are not authoritative; the outermost are called “believers”, they are the people who have just joined this rabble, and they cannot be out of place at the very beginning.
To be “saviors” is because they must find a corresponding role among the rabble, otherwise they will be eliminated by the rabble. This is the outer element of Teresa’s personality.
Other than that, Teresa’s personality is almost always caused by internal factors.
The first is the fear of losing control. When other people’s behavior is out of their expectations, this is very scary for those who have a strong desire to control. So they release goodwill towards people to force them to obey their own arrangements. This kind of logic is more effective in China, after all, cannibalism leads to short-handedness. Making others live a better life is itself the key to enabling oneself to master the overall situation.
The second is personality reconstruction. To be precise, this one is not a cause, but a catalyst, which itself can catalyze the several causes that will be mentioned later. Personality reconstruction generally occurs in childhood, such as those who are forced to take care of their younger siblings as big parents. When they take care of family members, they do not emphasize the “sense of boundaries”, so their salvation behavior among the rabble is also There is no sense of boundaries, even with a strong intrusion.
The third is to avoid facing yourself. In the rabble formed by women, the way of using emotions as a guide is to allow people to release the negative energy accumulated in their daily life to the fullest. For example, the husband’s disregard for him, the failure of his children’s education, the children trying their best to stay away from him, or the rigidity of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law makes him lose control over his son, etc. Teresa’s personality avoids facing their own demons and ugliness by solving the inner fragility of others. They think that when they solve others’ demons, they are also saving themselves. At the same time, narration itself is addictive, they can be noticed and embraced, and they can accept a sense of warmth and recognition that cannot be obtained in ordinary life, so their same wound can be continuously opened and enjoy the process of being healed .
The fourth, this is the “highest level” of demons, and it’s also one that they won’t really face themselves — they’re used to being unsatisfied. They have become accustomed to shrinking their own existence and gaining recognition of their own worth by helping others. The husband dislikes the food unpalatable, and the child only wants to eat takeout. Women are used to this kind of feedback, so when someone praises and affirms their efforts, they are more willing to be Teresa. And that’s not the solution to the root cause of the problem, it creates an inherently vicious circle.
Why do you intend to play three women in one play? Because the number of Teresa in the team is limited, the whole Teresa cannot reflect the advantages of Teresa’s personality. As if everyone is a dogleg, the privilege that belongs to a dogleg can no longer be called a privilege. Teresa’s dominance creates class concentric circles centered on the woman with the headache.
That is to say, when the number of Theresa exceeds the balance allowed in the rabble group, then internal contradictions will appear, and there will inevitably be women’s dramas in various senses.
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