Original link: http://battlele.com/lost-youth/
I have always been an introverted, late bloomer. I never fell in love when I was a student, and I didn’t have the experience of being in love with each other. After graduation, the more I understand this diverse world, the circle of people I can actually get in touch with also narrows. Age and emotional experience do not match, making it more and more difficult for me to find the right half.
When a relationship is about to come to an end, will you choose to keep the memory in dust, or let nature take its course and welcome a new life? Everyone knows that it is useless to pretend that nothing happened, to deceive oneself and others.
When I was sorting out my things, I saw those two air tickets, and saw her name on the hospital receipt, and I felt a surge of uncomfortable emotions. I wrote it down to commemorate my lost youth.
Getting to know her started like a fairy tale. Last October, I was riding a bicycle on the usual training route. She came to my city for a tour and passed by. The next day she looked for me on social platforms and was seen by my friends. After that, a story began.
At first I didn’t have any idea. I used to refuse to go to other places, but people will always break their own ideas. The reason is that you are willing to change for TA.
After three months of ordinary communication, I spent the most difficult period of my life at the end of the year. I was infected with the new crown virus and both lungs. It’s been a decadent two weeks. During that time, she chatted with me, as if she was by my side, cared about me, and cared about me.
So, I went to Shanghai to find her before the Chinese New Year, and we met at Disney. I stayed up all night the night before, knowing that it was not for the amusement park. For the first time, it was not such a magical love at first sight. She gave me the feeling that she was a little girl who kept her innocence. She didn’t move her chopsticks very much when eating. She put her hands behind her back, smiled and showed her canine teeth, and watched me eat. There was something in her eyes at that moment, and my heart was moved at that moment. Disney was very cold that day and the fireworks were gorgeous, but I only remember her appearance. She sent me back to the hotel that night, and I didn’t dare to invite her to have a drink. I went to the bar and had a drink, and the drink was enough.
Forty-nine days after that separation, she came to my city for a business trip, and we met again. At that stage, everything seemed to be a matter of course. We officially confirmed the relationship after this day. She was my first real girlfriend and the first time I had an intimate relationship. This day may have come too late.
Afterwards we dated in different cities, she was on a business trip, and I went to the next city to find her. Although we don’t meet every day, the concentration is even higher than meeting every day. Later, we went on a trip to Xinjiang together, and there were a lot of friction during the trip, which planted the seeds for subsequent conflicts.
Because of some objective reasons, we all know that it is unlikely to come to the end, but we didn’t expect it to come so soon. When it came to May, she changed her job and moved to a new house, and I also went to Shanghai to help her clean up. There, I really felt the existence of a home, not the original family, but my own.
Afterwards, she was busy with work, and from the hot love period, talking about everything became very tasteless and boring, and it would also irritate her if she had nothing to say. I couldn’t stand this kind of cold and violent mode. Both parties were cold for several days. She If you don’t look for me, I won’t look for her either.
And during the period, because of one incident, the trust between us was in crisis. When there is no trust in the intimate relationship, this relationship cannot go on.
She is an ambitious person who can put everything aside for the sake of her goals. I am very Buddhist and do not pursue fame and fortune. She is a social existence that everyone likes, and she is handy in running the community. I am a person who doesn’t even want to dive in group chats. In fact, I have long known various factors: different places, age, economic strength, personality, all of which are very different.
But I was not ready to say goodbye, the scene of the last parting is still vivid in my memory, I didn’t think that it would be the last meeting.
As I write this, I am a little incoherent. I know in my heart that we are over and we should look forward, but I am not reconciled and have not let go. I hope that time is the medicine that heals everything, let us heal the wound and move on.
When I had conflicts, I was always afraid of the dark when I closed my eyes, couldn’t sleep, and wanted to rely on alcohol to numb myself, which was not what I wanted. I am no longer young, and the future relationship may benefit more than the relationship itself. Youth is really over, and the pressure of the world is coming. Men still need strength to gain a foothold in this society.
Here are my recent insights:
“Where there is no fragrant grass in the end of the world, passionate but annoyed by ruthless”
People are diverse and have many faces, so don’t try to understand a person
In relationships, hate and love are the same thing. When you feel that you don’t want to continue, you should stop the loss in time
Humans are animals that naturally look for cause and effect, but in fact many things in the world happen randomly
Usually trusting a person 100%, you have to break up completely when you are cheated for the first time, or you can only have reservations
Buy it if you like it, share it if you don’t, drink more hot water, and try again. These few simple words really contain the philosophy of life
People have to experience it before they can grow and become stronger. It is very important that the harm you have suffered should not be imposed on others
Others may never be able to grasp their own situation and give appropriate advice, only you really know what to do. So men should make their own decisions instead of seeking advice from others for everything
This article is just my perception, and the next article will summarize what I have learned from this relationship and how I have saved myself from the pain
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