Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/05/30/6138/
△ 150｜Let’s talk later
Only after I finished my workout did I realize that the article to be published on a regular basis tomorrow didn’t move, so I wrote a topic, and this topic was the inspiration that suddenly got into my head when I was exercising a few days ago. When I turned it out again, it was very different from what was conceived at that time. I originally wanted to get up early tomorrow to “talk later”, but when the keyboard hits, inspiration comes.
What I wanted to discuss about “we will talk about it later” is actually a “method” in the political field. In politics, one sentence should not be “said to death”. The so-called “full strokes and losses” are especially obvious in the field of political science. Sometimes it is better to be ambiguous than tough when it comes to one country’s attitude towards another. “One country promises another country not to use force” and “one country promises not to use force against another country” are two completely different words, and the former’s “inactive” is a very interesting ” I’ll talk about it later.” I won’t say it to death, and if there is a different approach then, I’ll just find a “reasonable” reason.
I will write this topic again today, and prepare to temporarily add some realistic stories.
What are you most afraid of when you borrow money? Is it “no loan”, “no” or something to refuse? I think the most frightening thing should be “I’ll talk about it later.” This sentence can’t tell whether the other party wants to lend you money or not. Moreover, this sentence is not easy to say or ask for the borrower; if the debt collector is replied with the sentence “Let’s talk about it when the time comes”, he will definitely ask for a specific time. If the other party insists Saying “Let’s talk about it”, then I feel that this is not reliable.
Many years ago, many experts who claimed to be “parent-child education” sprung up, probably because the dividend period of raw leeks has arrived, so there are many such experts, with various titles and various rhetoric. But they are inseparable from their ancestry and all mentioned a concept – what parents promise to their children must be what they say and do.
When I was a child, I experienced a lot of things that “we’ll talk about it later”, such as granting me a request for the next test score. Once I have such a state of expectation, I will definitely receive a reply of “I will talk about it later”, because my parents also need to evaluate whether my “at that time” desire is too much; if I express my desire in advance, There is a certain probability that it will be rejected on the spot, and naturally there is no determination to try harder; on the contrary, the phrase “see you later” is unpredictable, but at least it is rejected by one vote. “It also knows whether I should make promises, or whether I should have too many expectations for my behavior.
Probably after the high school entrance examination, I rarely had the part of “swearing” anymore, mainly because I had no expectations for myself, because even if the so-called goal was achieved, not only would no one reward me, but even myself would not. Stop rewarding yourself by deactivating the “say later” approach – so over time, the weird “I’m not working hard enough, so I’m not worthy” thoughts will arise in a person’s heart.
As an adult, I went through two or three years of very masochistic time management. Originally, I had a plan to summarize the experience and lessons related to time management on my personal blog, but after summarizing it, I found that the core of time management is “giving up the rules of time management”. Having said that, during that period of self-abuse time management, I began to learn to give myself “rewards”, because the education model that I received since I was young and could not deliver rewards in a timely manner had produced serious cognitive biases on my expectations of myself. In the period of time management, I am actually very strict with my “reward conditions”. For example, if I close all the fitness rings of my Apple Watch in a month, I can buy myself a planned item; or how many days do I keep writing for? , you can replace yourself with a keyboard…
“Delayed gratification” can indeed bring certain benefits to self-discipline, but there is a hidden secondary problem, because if it is not solved at the beginning, it will have counterproductive side effects at the end-“Let’s talk about it later” , in the face of self-discipline, People always achieve self-discipline by compressing their desires. When a person clearly wants to rest and needs to rest, but in order to promote a sense of self-discipline and morality, he can only keep telling himself “we will talk about it when the time comes”, as if everything has been overcome and everything will suddenly become clear – but the fact On, he has survived the most difficult period, and he will realize that those original rewards have become meaningless, because when he is fighting against self-discipline and humanity, he has consumed more energy, these hopeless voids, It was the promise that could not be filled at the beginning.
At this time, they will tell themselves that I have succeeded, and if they are not happy now, then wait until the next time, “Let’s talk about it later.” This is also the fundamental reason why I gave up time management. People’s self-discipline should not be a contract formed by self-restraint, but an equality contract signed because of wanting to achieve certain achievements. Regarding the content of self-discipline and freedom, we go to Time to talk.
Looking back at the first half of my life now, although I didn’t get much reward from my expectations, at least I still maintain that expectation for myself. Even if there is no reward, there are still many variables in life that “we will talk about it later”. and fun!
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