△ 117｜If we weren’t together, would you cheat on me if you met me?
Some time ago, I had an unlucky chat about death, but recently I changed the topic and talked about feelings.
The title is taken from an “emotional trap question”: Husband, if you don’t marry me, will you cheat when you meet me?
Obviously, this question is a “trap” because people think too narrowly about it. Because they also used the original marriage relationship as a prerequisite for this question, any answer to this question is wrong – but I think any answer is correct.
In the past few (ten) years, various types of “emotional test questions” were very popular. It’s as if once these questions are done right, one’s precarious relationship can be redeemed, or it can prove that he has found a partner who will never betray him. In fact, the reason why these problems exist is also easy to understand, because no one can give a clear definition for the quality of the relationship.
First, relationships cannot be quantified. In the past, I had conceived an app called “Loyalty Quantification”, which was accompanied by an app called “Moral Kidnapping Cost Calculation”. Unfortunately, because it was stuck on the point of “how to quantify feelings”, these two The product itself is not further planned. Some people are willing to sit in a BMW and cry, while others are unwilling to laugh on a bicycle. Some people are looking for a love that eats shit, but some people will calculate their “life costs” and would rather have a marriage that drinks porridge. Because of the different pursuits, feelings cannot be quantified. One person feels that his boyfriend has been exposed to the rain ten times and caught a cold six times. This is because of love; but the other side feels that it is nothing to let his boyfriend get in the rain. The number of times he has to kneel down and admit his fault can show the depth of love. . There is no standard for comparing the relationship between two people. It is better to compare the time to bed. You say 1 hour, and the other one should say 2 hours. Both sides secretly exchanged sexual relations behind each other’s back. Only 5 minutes.
Second, emotional relationships cannot be visualized. But mortals still keep the “tail”, so there is not so much bullshit. To blame Adam and Eve for insisting on eating the apple. With shame, the relationship between people is clouded by the leaf that covers the genitals. If a person has a tail, it will be simple, wag the tail when happy, and when they are interested in each other, the two tails will instinctively hook up, when they encounter pressure of the same sex, they will clamp, and when they encounter anger and fear, they will fry. Probably because humans do not want to be so easily guessed, the tail will be iterated out in the process of evolution. Of course, seeing someone you like will have a faster heartbeat, blush, get erection, and get wet, these are all normal, but they are still not embodied, but a feeling – the only one that can clearly be embodied Imaginative “erections” turned out to be strictly classified as “emotions”, because they felt that it was a “sexual reaction” and should not subvert the purity of emotions.
Besides, since emotional relationships are more inclined to imagery, it depends on how to define these imagery. When your heart beats fast, and I also have a fever when my heart rate increases sharply, what kind of heartbeat is the so-called “little deer bumping”? The most difficult point of imagery is that it is susceptible to subjective influence, which gives more interpretation. A casual glance can be divided into several meanings in those emotional articles. It is conceivable how much dividends this “interpretation of imagery” has. At the same time, starting from the parties, the same imagery will also be different in nature due to the subjective mentality of the parties. A man has sperm on his head. He saw a woman staring at him for 3 seconds in the subway, and he wondered if the other party had a good impression of him; but the same man went to the toilet to open a patriotic porno for paid jerking off at work. After coming out of the toilet, he looked at everyone and thought he was an idiot.
Since it can’t be quantified, can’t be visualized, and can’t be imaged deeply, then “test” has become an existence full of magic spells. But there is a subtle relationship in it. The person being tested and the person who wants to test others are actually completely different mindsets. One is like a question maker, who enjoys the pleasure of correcting the answers to get the results; the other is a question maker, who doesn’t like exams and tests at all, how could they possibly use their brains on these questions – after all, they put most of the The energy is spent on other rankings, such as mobile games.
How to make the person who does the question do the job with peace of mind and the person who asks the question calmly, this has become the core requirement of the “emotional test”. In the past, there were many emotional test questions, in which the parties acted as assessors to apply the other party’s behavioral ability. But soon they will find that there are too many illusory subjective assumptions, which cannot satisfy the needs of one person to peep into another person’s real thoughts. In turn, there is a new model of asking questions for the other side. Whether or not to answer, what the answer is, and the micro-expression when answering are all assessment criteria to prove that the other party truly loves him.
That’s why the “what-if questions” mentioned at the beginning were born. Suppose my mother and I fell into the water at the same time, who would you save first? Suppose I wasn’t married, would you still cheat with me? Suppose your family didn’t Like me, will you be with me… but the question comes back, because it’s an assumption: we’re together, and we both think we’re in love with each other, so how to answer this question is a trap. If you put this premise aside, then this question is meaningless again – who the fuck are you, why should I save you?
Compared with this, I feel that the emotional test might as well ask some emotional presuppositions that are more likely to occur, so that when they actually happen, they actually play a role in solving problems , such as:
- If your dad likes me, will you call my mom?
- If your mom fell in love with me, would you accept me as your dad?
- If my sister seduces you, will you forgive me for seducing your brother?
- Would you still love me if your mother found out that she was my and your father’s child?
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