write poetry

Original link: https://hin.cool/posts/xieshi.html

I was sitting on the couch watching an old movie when I got a call for an impromptu meeting on Wednesday night.

Before the movie was over, I had to turn off the TV, get dressed and go out. After more than 20 minutes of driving, when I walked into the office, the leader was talking loudly. I didn’t dare to look at you, and I was sitting just where the computer monitor blocked my view of you. I once imagined sitting next to you in a meeting, listening to your complaints, or just watching you quietly, as if I wanted to be closer to you all the time.

But we haven’t spoken to each other for three days, and we rarely even see each other. I purposely staggered the time to eat with you. When I chatted with you last weekend night, I inexplicably said, “(Thinking) jumping is – I can think of you when I go around.” After getting your “cold” answer, I suddenly lost my courage. Through this incident, I seem to see that I still haven’t made a little progress in this kind of thing, and I still can’t be thick-skinned with the girl I like.

When I came home after the meeting, I saw you posted a circle of friends, and I should be in a bad mood. I hesitated for a long time and finally asked why you are not happy. Later, you complained to me about your feelings since the internship. I should be able to understand it, but I don’t know how to comfort you. Because I know that those words that can be easily said don’t actually have any effect. I said, eat something delicious, sweets make people happy, and then I went to Meituan to see the dessert shop. You asked me: “By the way, are you hiding from me these days?”

If you can feel this, you must be able to feel my admiration for you, although it has not been shown in any actual form. In the years of living alone, I have become increasingly incapable of chasing the girl I like. My understanding of love still seems to be stuck in the immature “love for each other” in middle school. Love will never start again.

I took a fancy to a small cake and wanted to buy it for you. I asked the boss if the cake would go bad if it was bumped, if there was a tote bag that wasn’t so obvious, and even figured out what to put on the card – just write that in your signature. To avoid your embarrassment, I’ll pretend to buy it for the three of you. But the boss told me that only cake boxes can be put in, although it was too blatant, but I still want to find a way after ordering. When I placed the order, I was told that it would not be delivered until 8:00 the next day, so this little thought died.

I saw you in the cafeteria at noon on Thursday, but I didn’t stare at you like I used to, and I didn’t dare to speak to you. Last Sunday night you said, “You are too good at talking, your language skills are not for you to say this”, and there was a big exclamation mark at the end. At that moment, I really realized that I had said the wrong thing, and even suspected that the sentence would It won’t look greasy, after all, I am indeed a middle-aged man.

Then I’ll write a poem. In the past few years, there was a time when I particularly liked to write poetry, and there were one or two works that I still think are okay. But then I stopped writing, no one I liked, and my perception of life became more and more sluggish. I sat in the panicked night in the early morning, listening to the tireless sound of insects outside the window, but I thought of the goat man who asked me to dance in the Dolphin Hotel, and I thought of Tagore’s “birds in summer, fly to my window and sing, I flew away again.” I thought of the words “When the cups meet, it’s the sound of broken dreams.” I thought of that dream and the sunset I also photographed that afternoon.

For an hour before and after, I adjusted those sentences over and over again, but I still felt that I couldn’t make it out. But I eventually explained to myself that the poem was a closed loop of a dream that started with an unfinished dream, ended with a silent dream, and sent it to you.

When I woke up the next morning, I suddenly had some regrets. After those words were sent to you, you would reply something that was already expected—somewhat similar to that dream, who said the dream was the other way around. I received your message before the bell rang. Although it was a rejection, it was much gentler than I thought. I wanted to laugh a little at first because I felt like I had done another very childish thing. Later they were reading inside, and I stood at the door looking at the clouds that were being dragged in the sky. They were moving at a speed visible to the naked eye. The night was slowly dissipating from this moment, and the sky was going to be sunny.

But I have no secrets, and I don’t know how to face you.

 I have a secret,
 Hidden in the dim morning mist before dawn.
 She dances with the dawn,
 Slowly fainted a dawn,
 like you,
 like an unfinished dream.

 I want to write poetry for you,
 Written in the oncoming wind in the early morning.
 She blooms with the fragrance of flowers,
 Secretly brewing my miss,
 like you,
 Like a song with aphasia.

 I want to write poetry for you,
 Write about the sunset you photographed one evening.
 She runs with the sunset,
 lightly scattered on your face,
 It's you,
 You are a beautiful poem.

 I still want to write poetry for you,
 I want to tell you about the chirping of insects that have not slept at night,
 and the star that wanders alone every night,
 They were dreaming hoarse dreams.

This article is reprinted from: https://hin.cool/posts/xieshi.html
This site is for inclusion only, and the copyright belongs to the original author.