A Real Thing All Can Do for Women: Speak Up

Don’t stand by


“Don’t hit a woman”, “Don’t lock up a woman” and “Don’t force a woman” are all very straightforward truths.
Can the word “woman” be replaced by “person”? sure. But as long as you open your eyes, you will be able to see the direct attack videos of being tortured, beaten, slapped, dragged, and molested, and these “people” are most likely women. The last time I experienced mass anger was about a woman who was not seen as a human being.
Gender-based violence needs to be pointed out because it is so common that “violence” itself is no longer dazzling, because the inequality behind it extends into all aspects of this society. On weekdays, we have to speak up; in the face of specific and vicious acts such as the Tangshan beating incident, we have to speak up even more.
The single reading has compiled the speeches of the writers and friends around me about gender-based violence, hoping to present the anger and thinking about this matter in a concentrated manner. Some anger is earlier than this incident, proving that all this is not accidental and extreme, but long-term and structural; some anger looks from the present to the future, hoping that anger will be useful and speaking up will be useful.

pale leopard

@Silent Dayton Monkey

I also don’t have much shrewd, special insight, explanation, or plan. I’m just very scared. I feel that the economy will decline in the next few years, and people will have no way out. They will all stay here. They will be hostile and difficult to protect themselves. , that will happen more and more. You’re still weak, strangers on the road, people you know, still take your breath away – or try to take your lust out of you, it’s all one thing.

Not everything can attract the attention of the society, there is enough complete and bright monitoring, indoor, high-definition, camera is not broken, the boss is willing to take it out, and it can be seen clearly without circumstantial evidence, “She is really wrong at all. No”. This last point, unfortunately, is often the premise.

I really don’t think it’s mainly a matter of fighting gangsters and eradicating evil; I think ordinary people are just not so ruthless, skilled, and helpers. Ordinary people can do similar things. Most of the people who hurt their wives and girlfriends are ordinary people.

When the police force is insufficient and the court cases are backlogged, will you be in charge?

Justice is a limited resource that needs to be allocated. Safety too.

I also don’t feel like some legal popular science bloggers encourage people to report the case + injury identification and go through the whole process firmly to win the grievances. If you are slightly injured, congratulations! I know that those encouragements are well-intentioned, but in reality, the minor injuries and minor injuries stipulated by the law are very serious injuries to us ordinary people, and they are all overwhelmed. Losing a knuckle, orbital fracture, nose fracture, and miscarriage are still minor injuries (not accurate, I don’t want to check now, please correct me if I’m wrong).

It is not so easy to achieve, or, to say, it is really, really miserable. When you reach it, your life will be over, and if you work hard, put down your work and your life to seek justice, and the perpetrators will not be able to enter for a few years.

Didn’t reach it, didn’t attract such social attention, didn’t have such thorough “innocence”, didn’t have the hope of finally getting justice, or, your relatives, friends/partners are just ordinary people with limitations, not like in the movie What should I do if I love you, understand you, and support you unconditionally, or as strangers imagine in the comments, “If I encounter this kind of thing, I will definitely xxx”, but I don’t want to help you, hate you, and stay away from you.

And then, thinking about this — knowing that, for example, the smallest, most mundane, most inconsequential incident, what will you do the next time you see someone smoking in a restaurant? Are we going to endure like this for the rest of our lives, are we worthy of enduring like this for the rest of our lives?


Movie “Night and Fog in Tin Shui Wai”

Han Xia


Posted on October 14, 2021

Forwarding language: I thought of the previous post again. Scream or dodge? Can’t, can’t.

Yesterday, I went to an izakaya with my girlfriend for dinner. There was no seat next to us, so we sat at the bar. Later, we didn’t want to bother to change the table. We thought it would be good to sit here.

When my friend went to the toilet, an older brother in his early fifties, with a straight belly and black-rimmed glasses, with a droopy face, moved to my side and stared at me for a minute. I was going back to work on WeChat, and I thought such a person would ignore him, as long as he didn’t continue to be annoying. He was already on his face, but he seemed to be in control of his behavior, not in a state of intoxication.

The eldest brother finally expressed his desire: “Your friend vomited in the toilet, do you want me to go over and help her?”

Me (without looking up, without tone): “We drank a cup in total, and didn’t vomit, don’t worry. Even if I helped, I would help. There is a women’s toilet.”

Brother: “Oh, then I’ll treat you to two drinks. If you haven’t had too much, you can follow along with me.”

Me (without looking up, moving to the next stool, expressing resistance): “No need.”

At this time, my tone was very flat, which was equivalent to no tone. But in order not to “cause trouble”, he has not raised his head.

Embarrassment was already in the air.

When my friend came back, she had a better temper than me and persuaded the eldest brother to leave. The elder brother kept mumbling, pointing in my direction and saying, “What a big deal, why don’t you let her have a drink?”

Me (pressing anger): “I don’t know you, and I don’t want to drink with you.”

At this moment, the eldest brother shook out a sentence that made my jaw drop – “Who are you, why do you take yourself so seriously, I invite you to drink to flatter you.”

I thought to myself, this wretched thing hit the muzzle today.

The following omits a large paragraph, a fragment of my “education” of my big brother. No dirty words, the key words are “I’m not who you are and who are you”, “I can refuse you” and “Don’t bother people who don’t want to talk to you” and so on.

The eldest brother was in a hurry and wanted to come up to point his face, but was dragged away by two waiters.

I said word by word: “If you come again, I will call the police now.”

The eldest brother left angrily, cursing while walking.

The waiters are all very nice boys, they comforted me and helped me off the order for two drinks. But they just gave the final explanation with “This person drank too much”.

Then I thought, I’m doing this as if I’m “not smart”. The eldest brother came with four friends. Although he is stupid, in case there is a conflict. There is always danger. Second, my sudden outbreak affected other dining customers in the store. This is not good either. Later, I told my friend about it. She said that you are lucky. She heard about it twice recently, about the girl who refused to invite the next table to drink in the nightclub, and finally got her head on the table.

Thinking about it again, how is it “smart”? drink his wine? After being accused by him, he swallowed his breath? Really call the police?

Women need to be peaceful, smart, sophisticated, and protect themselves.

Such an ordinary little thing, women have to worry about and experience so much, who can help us think about and do something?

But it’s just, “I don’t want to drink the wine you asked for”.


The movie “The Cruel Story of Youth”

Soviet side


Posted on March 16, 2021

I just started work, and when I was walking diagonally through Beijing and sitting on a long subway every day, I met a boy on the subway.

The boy looked very honest, and when he came up to ask for a phone, it was difficult and stammered. We both get on the bus at the same station every day. In fact, we live very close to each other and are adjacent to each other.

After leaving the phone, I send a few text messages every day, and there is not much to chat. However, a few days later, he invited me to his house for dinner, saying that I thought it was you and wanted my parents to meet you.

I did not go. One, there may not be parents at home. Second, if there are parents in the family, this family will be even more strange.

As a result, late that night, he called and said you should not hang up, you opened the window and looked down.

I read it. He stood in our community, in the middle of the building, singing and playing guitar.

After he finished singing, I said it was fine, you should go home soon.

He said you come down, say a few words to me, and I’ll go home.

I said it was too late and I couldn’t go down.

He said I won’t leave if you don’t come down.

I didn’t go down. I’m afraid he knows which building I live in.

It’s not romance, it’s intimidation. When I grew up, I met the landlord. The small and thin landlord, the landlord who is married and a civil servant, we also met his mother’s landlord when we went to see the house. After two years of living, when he came to check the house, he suddenly became estrus and squeezed from behind. Hooping, rubbing his ear with saliva, pressing down on the bed.

At that moment I realized that a man who is thinner than me is much stronger than me.

I can’t break free, I can only talk. I said you let me go, you go now, and we don’t have it.

He let go, regretted it, and hugged him again.

I kept talking, kept talking, I persuaded him, I persuaded him with a smile.

After several repetitions, he finally left. As soon as the door closed, I was all soft. My boyfriend came to see me – I said it – and asked me: What were you wearing?
Say another master. The master has indeed encountered bad things. Once I moved, it was originally just me, I contacted the mover, and I was a little older when I heard the voice, so I felt more at ease. As a result, on the day of the move, four of them came, and one master brought three apprentices. The house was small, and four men walked in and out with their arms swaying. In between, they rubbed against you and gave them a hug. His mouth is not idle, and he criticizes you, one after another, one after another. The more nervous I got, the louder they laughed.
So I called my boyfriend over here.

After he came, the four masters didn’t speak to me again.
Another time earlier, when I got home, I was squatted by a strange man, put a knife against my lower back, and put it on the roof of the top floor, saying that I was hired by a male friend and took nude photos of me to vent my anger. I am also very angry. I won’t get rid of me, and I won’t get rid of it if I die. So there was a physical confrontation, being strangled to pass out, and waking up to find that only one coat had been taken off – luckily it was winter.

Later, it was also based on chatting and asking questions. What year were you born? Oh, you are one year older than me. Are you from Beijing? Do you also study medicine? Me too, which movie do you like the most? Do you smoke a cigarette? …

In the second half of the night, no nude photos were taken. The kidnappers sent the hostages back to the door and asked politely: Can I go in?

The hostage said today…it’s too late, let’s do it another day.

The hostages moved the next day.
So when I meet a good master, a good man, I will especially remember it. This is good, it’s a comparison.

But at the same time, vigilance also comes from bad experiences time after time. Naturally, sometimes it will kill in vain, but… otherwise?
What a pity. what do you say?


“The Affected Woman”

Wang Qing


We may have thought that when society progresses and the level of gender awareness rises, there will be more civilized and complex discussions, such as workplace equality, childcare division, women’s self-realization, and so on.

But I didn’t expect that after so many years, after so many rounds of discussions, I finally came back to the basic issue of “can’t hit women”.

In fact, there has been no desire to speak on Weibo for a while. It’s just that the speed of this fall is terrifying. It’s a complete collapse of basic common sense. in every way.

Liu Kuan Kiva

@Kiva –

The only moment that made me feel warm today was when I watched the video of Tangshan beating people, got on the Didi car, saw a female driver, and couldn’t help talking to her. She said that because I didn’t have time to watch the video at work, I briefly told her about the process, and she immediately felt the same way and was indignant. She suddenly talked about her unfortunate marriage. She wanted to be a cashier girl and a Didi driver. Her husband was a mother-in-law in the name of filial piety. Her good friend also called her every day to cry because she was wronged in her marriage. Before getting off the bus, she told me not to listen to others, not to get married easily, and not to expect to change a man. She suddenly opened up to me, a stranger, because she knew that I could understand, and she understood immediately what I said. The women who don’t want to watch around and try to help also understand.



Of course there are good men in the world.

A good man should stand up when other men beat him, and should express his anger at the man who beat him, instead of saying at this time, “There are still good men in the world.”

You look in the mirror.

Auntie Bear

@ah bear aunt

To attribute the beatings in Tangshan to the economic downturn, the deterioration of social security, and the rise in unemployment, and to the issue of social governance, the subtext of such remarks is just to clear oneself, “I stand higher”, “I am with those villains.” Men are different.”

Then according to this logic, the economic downturn and the deterioration of public security, the most direct phenomenon at the moment is the beating of women. These are still three completely innocent women who were clearly photographed in the public eye. What about other places you can’t photograph? Women at home, women in the workplace, women on campus, who are more likely to be directly injured by violence when the economy becomes poorer?

From last night to now, I have seen many female friends in a state of traumatic stress. This video started with sexual harassment and gradually escalated to sensational violence, and the police did not intervene in time.

Every process in the middle is all too familiar. Being touched, confronted with no results, complaining and being laughed at, calling the police and being questioned repeatedly. This is the norm, but we are lucky not to be beaten so hard. Women’s issues seem to be safe. In the past two years, which media should not carefully weigh the red line before publishing the manuscript. Is there still less thing to be found by the supervision unit and the police after publishing the manuscript?

If some men can’t understand it, it’s better to ask who has been sexually harassed in your own circle of friends. The number of replies will definitely open your eyes. It’s just that you never pay attention and don’t want to care.


The movie “Dog Town”

Meng Chang

@ Meng Chang

Dare to share a few ideas with male friends:

– condemn violence

– Focus on the event itself, but also think appropriately about structural gender-based violence

– As a man, don’t teach women how to protect themselves, and don’t persuade women how to avoid harm in clothing and lifestyle. You don’t understand this, and neither do I. Women understand the ubiquitous feeling of being threatened. from where, but that’s not the point, the point is the violence itself

– Don’t be in a hurry, say “men also have good people”, talk about some of your kind actions, it doesn’t matter if a man has a good person, you may be a good person, it doesn’t matter, really

– Don’t feel wronged, shame can be appropriate

– Don’t say “men should protect women”. In a fair institutional environment, women can protect themselves. In reality, it is better to say that human beings should help each other to the best of their ability.

– It is good to have a sense of justice against a few hooligans. If the violence against people comes from a greater force, I hope you can maintain this sense of justice too


@zongcheng in the attic

“The incident of multiple men beating women in Tangshan” and “the incident of beating people in Shanghai Jinshan”, the gender issue is the core, not the underworld, not “individual extreme forces”, but “gender issues”, regardless of male, female, or other sexuality, any Anyone with basic common sense and conscience will feel that women here are more likely than men to encounter violence, deprivation, and structural oppression, and are more likely to face domestic violence, beatings, street killings, abductions and chains. situation.

This is common sense that a person with basic empathy will feel in this place. In a deeply rooted patriarchal culture, where men actually still dominate most fields, where misogyny is prevalent, and where women defend their rights in employment, morality, personal safety, legal rights, and even expressing their own fears, it is easy to be labeled as “extreme feminist”. The environment, what the face says, this has nothing to do with gender issues. How embarrassing to say that “gender issues” and “feminism” aggravate the confrontation between men and women.

It is not “feminism” or anger that exacerbates the gender antagonism, but the existence of suppressing women’s immediate demands and condoning male perpetrators again and again. It is the oppressors, the perpetrators, and the power and culture that protect them, not the wrath of the oppressed.

That fact is obvious, it’s there, it’s just whether you want to see it or not, you dare to admit it.

Who beat the Tangshan woman and beheaded the Jinshan woman; according to the current law, how many years will the perpetrator be sentenced; whether the actual law enforcement effect is consistent with the legal provisions; have the person who abducted and imprisoned the “chain girl” been tried; about rape , Has the sentencing of abducting, bribing, imprisoning, beating or beheading women in public changed now? What happened to the Shanghai Xiaohonglou Incident?

Ask yourself these questions, face your heart sincerely, if you still have kindness, common sense, and the basic bottom line of being a human being. Some principles are self-evident, it is not only about women, but also about the basic bottom line of a modern man.

And here, the gender issue should not be blurred, because it is still a women’s issue first and foremost, an issue that in fact women suffer from structural deprivation and killing, how can it be said that gender is not important? Even if it is a man, as long as he has a basic conscience, go to Tangshan, Jinshan, Fengxian, go to see the real live video, the gender is there, it is one of the truths in that room, and the one who tries to erase it is The elephant you long to trace back. It’s there, you can even see it easily. The key is whether you have the courage to admit it.

Therefore, whether it is a woman or a man, I appeal to watch the live video, and at the same time, go to make up a good lesson on gender issues. This is not just the behavior of a very small number of extreme “male scum”, it is an “accidental necessity” in a patriarchal society when misogynistic culture prevails and the social structure still encourages/condones the oppression of women.

In these events, gender is decisive, it is very important, and women express their own fears, anger, demands, and calls for improvements in legislation, law enforcement, and culture, which are urgent and needed.

And for men, instead of rushing to defend and claiming, “I’m not that one,” it’s better to feel ashamed and think about what they can do for women who are personally angry. If not, you can at least choose to remain silent, and you can reflect on whether you have also played a palliative role in this de facto “structural oppression”.


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