Original link: https://ljf.com/2023/09/07/1312/
Preface Why do I do live chats?
I choose agricultural products because I think the national policy will always support it; I choose live broadcast not only because many pioneers have demonstrated in front, but also because I have become a live broadcast expert in New Oriental.
Later, I started to put my heart into it. Since it was a dialogue, why didn’t there be anything left after the live broadcast? If I prepare seriously, the content of the conversation can be more exciting. After the conversation, I can organize it into text and spread it again on my official account.
Of course I also understand that we are really powerless about many things. But I always believe that people have free will, and we can still control our own destiny and life trajectory to a large extent. I once said: “I obey the arrangement of fate, but I don’t obey the domineering of fate!”
Part I Spiritual Idol
In fact, travel can be roughly divided into four types, each corresponding to a different harvest.
The first is simple travel. Most people will go to various countries to visit, have a look, buy something, and eat some local snacks and food. This is simple travel.
The second is cultural travel. You go there to see the culture, to learn things, for example, you will know more about the culture of ancient Greece when you come to Greece
The third is to travel far away. Memorizing books to study in that place is called traveling abroad, including going to study abroad, or going to a place as a visiting scholar.
The fourth type is semi-settled inspection. For example, when you arrive in Athens, give yourself more time and rent a house to live in for two or three months.
What preparations should we make before traveling to make this trip worthwhile?
First, you must read relevant books before traveling, such as local history, customs and culture, travel notes written by people who have been there before, etc., and take notes when reading.
Second, it is necessary to conduct a more in-depth study on the map route.
Third, be very careful when choosing a tour guide. Some tour guides are half-baked, with little knowledge of culture, history, and geography, and they can only help arrange food and accommodation. Such tour guides are actually useless.
Fourth, prepare relevant abilities and knowledge. English proficiency is a must if you are traveling alone
After I went out, I had a great feeling that we have to resort to foreign languages and things written by foreign writers for our understanding of the world, but there is very little Chinese to present the experience of the world. No
Dialogue with Peng Kaiping on how to live a happier life
Many people always like to complain, prevaricate, shirk responsibility, and refuse to admit their mistakes. This is called “victim mode” in psychology. Such a person will feel that everything, whether it is suffering, misfortune, setbacks, lack of promotion and salary increase, or bad relationship with colleagues, is a problem caused by others, the environment, society, and mechanisms, and he will not examine himself Problems in the body, always feel like a victim, this needs to be noticed and adjusted.
There are two particularly important emotional regulation skills: one is social support, family, friendship, and love are particularly helpful to our emotions; the other is expressing our feelings, and we must not be bored in our hearts, because if we are bored in our hearts, it will germinate , and this bud is a poisonous bud, which is not good for our own body and mind.
There are not many friends, but two or three close friends are the most important, and we can talk and talk together.
Accompanied by people, face-to-face communication has a particularly important function, which is to make our brains secrete a neurochemical particle, which is called oxytocin in English and oxytocin in Chinese. It makes us feel warm, warm all over, and tighten our throats. Being with children, relatives, and friends can produce oxytocin, and companion animals can also produce oxytocin. So for those lonely old people, having a pet is actually very important.
We are all defined not by the family of origin in the past, but by the close relationship in the present and the family in the future.
In China, if you have no contacts at all, it is relatively difficult to get things done in a business-like manner.
In addition to “having a poetic and bookish spirit”, what aspects does a person need to practice in order to make himself more attractive, gain the attention and trust of others, and make their future careers smoother?
First, personal image design is very important. Dress more decently, comb your hair more cleanly, at least take a bath every day, and brush your teeth frequently. The first impression will produce a “halo effect”. When judging a person, personal image has a particularly large influence.
The second is temperament, demeanor, taste, and manners. One of the most important is conversation. We know a person by the way he talks, so speaking well is important.
Third, work hard on non-verbal communication. Sometimes people reveal a lot without speaking. For example, although Teacher Yu did not speak when listening to me, she kept nodding with a smile on her face, expressing appreciation, care, and support. Such non-verbal communication methods are particularly important.
Flow is actually when we are able to immerse ourselves in a thing, forgetting things and ourselves, forgetting time, space, and ourselves. We don’t know when it is at this time, and we don’t know where we are in this life. We are very happy, joyful, and quiet.
What can be done to generate happiness? Mihai, one of the founders of positive psychology, believes that if doing something is too easy, people will feel boring (boring) and meaningless; if it is too difficult, we will not be able to do it, and we will be hit. So you should do things that are slightly difficult, but can be done well at the same time, which is easier to produce the experience of flow.
How to generate flow in the work we have done, I think there are three particularly important prerequisites:
First, we must regard our work as a path and step for future development.
Second, we must continue to experience and accumulate things that make us happy at work.
Third, the sense of meaning is particularly important to create a surging flow of happiness at work.
Psychologists have found that human desires, pursuits and motivations are actually divided into three categories: one is Needing, what we need and must; the other is Desire, which is the condiment we desire to pursue, that is, Wanting; There is also a category of liking, which we like. In Chinese, it is decoration.
In what areas can parents focus on cultivating their children’s abilities?
The first is the child’s ability to regulate emotions.
The second is the ability to build relationships, including the spirit of cooperation and being kind to others.
The third is the question of the meaning of life and values.
The fourth is the child’s self-efficacy. Let the child feel that I have, I can, and I can, these need special care and support from parents to some extent
The fifth is a healthy lifestyle. Such as going to bed on time, brushing teeth, taking a shower, taking care of your body
The sixth is the child’s ability to be happy. Parents should care for and cultivate children’s positive attitude towards a better life.
Dialogue with Liu Jia to become a better self
I think that AI will surpass humans in the future, there is no doubt about it. There are three reasons:
First, human life span is limited.
The second is computing power. The human brain weighs about 3.5 catties, which is the limit state of the human brain
The computing power of a computer is unlimited.
Third, human beings are two-dimensional animals.
But artificial intelligence can perceive the five-dimensional, six-dimensional or higher-dimensional world. Humans have inherent shortcomings, but computers do not, so AI is a more promising intelligent body than humans.
In the past 20 years, emotional-related mental illnesses, such as anxiety and depression, have risen 120-fold.
Why are you more anxious now? It is because this era is full of too many uncertainties.
The biggest difference between psychology and physics is the focus on different scales. Physics focuses on spatial scales. For example, when the scale expands to the cosmic level, Newtonian mechanics does not apply, and Einstein’s theory of relativity is used instead. The scale that psychology pays attention to is not the spatial scale, but the time scale. What we care about is whether it is still valuable when the thing we pursue exceeds the length of life. If it has value, it is a mission; if it has no value, it is a goal.
Living in the present does not mean excluding the future, but what you do now is part of the future.
How can we achieve scarcity? There are three points:
First, I can. The thing I do must be something I can do and be good at, which depends on talent.
Second, I like it or not.
Third, what we do is wonderful.
As long as we find one thing, this thing has these three characteristics for us: I am capable, I like it, and it is beautiful, then we will persevere in doing it. Once scarcity is achieved, there is no need to worry, because the pricing power is in our hands. hand.
Dialogue with Chen Haixian to write a good story for his life
. The child must rely on, and you must give him a sense of security. With a sense of security, he will explore the world. If you do too much to protect him from setbacks and harm, you are actually letting the child lose The ability to exercise.
There is a word called “victim mentality”, and I found that many people have “victim mentality” more or less. For example, they think that it is usually the outside world that causes difficulties, not themselves. Of course, they cannot say that everything is 100% their own responsibility, but if you have a bad life, 80% of your problems are your own.
We have to understand that the environment has restrictions on us, but it is not decisive, and it is ourselves who make the final decision. If everything is determined by the environment, you have a reason to attribute all unfortunate encounters to the environment and others. At this time, you are like turning yourself into a marionette of the environment, which determines you like that , people have no power, you become a victim.
First, don’t be afraid of difficulties. If there is really no way to solve it, just avoid it at worst. I don’t think there are any difficulties that can crush people to death, or make people become anxious, depressed, or even have mental problems in the end. These are all added by themselves. Many people like to add drama to themselves, turning themselves into tragic characters and victims, but it is actually unnecessary. You can have rich emotions, grief, indignation, and tragedy, but you can’t add drama to yourself and play a victim in the end, so that you can’t get out.
Second, as long as there are no personal safety issues, everyone can explore the uncertainty.
You think you are doing something that others look down on, but in fact it is not at all. People don’t look down on you. Many times you feel that others look down on you, and you impose it on yourself. Others don’t feel that way.
When you hold the idea that the whole world is against you, it must be a kind of self-misunderstanding, which is caused by a lack of mind, so the most important thing is to open yourself.
I think the psychological comfort zone can essentially be understood as the pursuit of a certain certainty in order to prevent yourself from feeling out of control.
It is useless to think about most things, the answer is not in the head, you have to collide with the real world, you have to do it first, it will give you a feedback, and then slowly adjust.
In fact, the essence of growth thinking is that you admit that the answer is not in your mind, but in the interaction with reality, in the real communication with others, in the continuous practice of certain skills and practice makes perfect, and your mind is limited. of.
First, a growth mindset is acquired through many things; second, a growth mindset also starts with accepting ourselves.
People have two goals: one is to enable themselves to really grow; the other is to protect themselves from harm. Sometimes these two goals are contradictory. For a person who wants to save face, his goal is not to let himself really grow, but his goal is to protect himself from harm
There’s bad news and good news for couples: The bad news is that, generally speaking, you can’t change him; the good news is, you can.
There is no definite answer to intimacy. The only definite answer is that people have two needs. One need is that I hope to be close to you, so that when I encounter setbacks and difficulties, I can feel support and recognition, which is the meaning of our finding a partner; another need is that I hope to have some space to develop myself , instead of being completely bound by this relationship, I hope that there are some things that I can decide for myself.
If two people can achieve two independent souls like Sartre and Beauvoir, this kind of damage will be reduced at a higher level, because it can achieve a thorough mutual understanding of humanity. The two of them sign a contract every two years. The two maintain a relationship, love and respect each other, but if they feel that they should not be together after two years, the contract will expire and they will be free. In fact, they kept signing contracts all their lives, and when the intermediate contract expired, they each went to find a partner, but later found that it was not suitable, and the two came back to sign the contract after two years. The two of them never got married until they died, and signed a contract every two years, but the relationship between the two has become a relationship that everyone talks about. The two of them also had mutual jealousy and hurt, but that kind of hurt was not so great, and the two had also been intimate, after all, they had been together for a lifetime. The main way to avoid harm is that the souls or thoughts of both parties can rise to a state where they have a more thorough understanding of human nature, so that they will regard each other’s harm as a necessity of human nature, rather than endlessly accusing this person and verbal abuse. I think that only by doing this, can those injuries be truly avoided.
An intimate relationship, a beautiful relationship, does not happen overnight, but is constantly managed and adjusted by two people. I really can’t bear it, I want to divorce you, I feel reluctant after thinking about it, and I feel a little pity, it develops slowly like this, and all the best states are slowly explored through a lot of pain. If you want this beautiful state, don’t be afraid of the pain of running-in.
We grow by replacing old traumatic experiences with new ones.
The so-called meaningful life story is a story in which we constantly face difficulties, overcome difficulties, experience things, generate insights, and then continue to grow.
People are like this, you create a thing, and this thing in turn either limits you or shapes you.
A person’s whole life is a tragedy, but everyday life is a comedy. The reason why it is said that a person’s life is a tragedy is that sooner or later we will die without leaving any traces, you come from nothing, go to nowhere (Come from nowhere, go to nowhere), but this does not mean Our lives have no meaning. Even though the sum of human life is a tragedy, it is still possible to live a life meaningfully and to live each day as a comedy. Because every day of our life is a new life, every day is an opportunity to change ourselves, every day is an opportunity to let ourselves go, every day is a new opportunity to say goodbye to the past and open up the future. The so-called “renew every day, renew every day, and renew every day”, as long as you are willing, you can do it.
Part III Prophet
The formation of a person’s sense of purpose has two aspects: the first is to change the status quo; the second is to move towards the future.
As a mother, if you were asked to choose three things that a mother must do and must do to benefit the growth of children throughout their lives, which three would you choose?
The first is to believe. The second is companionship. The third is support. These three things are almost the core necessary conditions for children to generate self-drive and continue to be positive and resist setbacks.
First, parents have to believe in their children from the bottom of their hearts, believe that they have the ability to become a well-developed person.
Second, the company of parents is particularly important.
Third, parents should give support.
Dialogue with Yin Ye: don’t realize that you haven’t lived until you die
The best way to improve immunity is not to eat health supplements, but three things: regular sleep, proper exercise, and staying happy. These three things are easy to say, but actually quite difficult. First, sleep should be regular. You can’t go to bed late because you are happy today, and go to bed early tomorrow if you are unhappy. Second, exercise must become a habit, and people must fight against their own lazy entropy. Third, even if you encounter any problems, you should maintain a positive and positive attitude. Recently, I have a saying that has been very popular: stay away from scumbags and stay away from bad things.
Dialogue with Kai-Fu Lee’s artificial intelligence has just begun
Today, if you want to do scientific research, get a Ph.D., or be a scientist, you may need to understand that this is actually a relatively lonely direction, and you are not sure whether you should follow the crowd or stick to it. exist
Dialogue, Changing the Angle to Look at China
For businessmen, it is important to realize that the reason why China has grown up so quickly is because China has joined the world order, and China is the biggest beneficiary of joining the world order.
To maintain a good relationship with the world, on the one hand, we should not adopt an aggressive nationalistic attitude. After all, this is an interdependent world, and it is difficult for one party to play alone without the other; on the other hand, we must also realize that the greater the ability, the more responsibility bigger.
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