Just like talking about “communication” in “Communication in the Real World “, before talking about “self-discipline”, we must first say what the word means in this article, and the reason is as stated in that article-
In many cases, artificial concepts are like the above. Although we can grasp the concept with the help of the words that constitute the concept and the compressed information, if we do not combine other auxiliary materials, we simply want to find out what those concepts are. What will eventually be found there is no single answer.
Ole, ” Communication in the Real World “
If you know that something is right and beneficial to you, but you are not interested in it, you don’t really feel that it is important or want to do it; if you make a plan under such a premise, whether it can be done or not is one thing, even if If you do it, you force yourself to do things you don’t want to do every day and every week. It’s definitely ineffective, and you’ll feel unhappy, like being punished—this is not “self-discipline”, but “self-abuse.”
So what is “self-discipline”? What I think of as “self-discipline” is — on the basis of clearly knowing the goals that you want to achieve, restrain yourself from tilting your resources (especially the limited and precious resources such as time and energy) to the goals as much as possible and reduce the Invest in unrelated things, and then form habits and improve personal efficiency – self-discipline makes people free; excellence is a habit.
“Self-discipline” is “restraint”, not “binding”.
social contact
If “socializing” means intentionally making friends and building connections, that’s what I hate and want to escape – I don’t need so-called “friends” and “connections.”
What is the nature of the relationship between people? I think it’s a “value swap” —
“Interpersonal relationship” is the most basic “relationship” between “people” and “people”, and only two “people” are needed. In terms of motivation, the fundamental reason for the establishment of this “relationship” is nothing more than natural or profit.
Natural “interpersonal relationships” are established naturally and are not controlled by the individual’s will, such as: parents as their “creators”; Like siblings, relatives, classmates, colleagues, etc. The closer the blood relationship is, the harder it is to dissolve.
Interest-driven “interpersonal relationships” are actively established to satisfy one’s own desires and needs, such as: friends, lovers, husband and wife, sexual partners, teachers and students, employment, etc. Interests include money, power, lust, emotion, honor, fame, etc.
Olay ‘s “Objective Real World “
As mentioned in the quotation, “benefits” are not only material things such as money that people first feel, but also spiritual things such as emotions and knowledge. If someone is willing to approach you, it means that for him, you can satisfy his personal interests and be of use value, whether it is short-term or long-term.
I believe that people have feelings, and feelings also play a certain role in maintaining the relationship between two people, especially the two magical things of “blood” and “love”; but I believe that they are vulnerable in the face of interests—— If anyone wants to refute me, it can only be said that the relationship between the two has not touched the bottom line of one of them.
So, socializing is not important to me, I don’t want to build relationships with anyone to make friends, build connections, and I don’t want to maintain a relationship that is of little value to me in the immediate and long-term.
If a relationship has no value to me, if I don’t hate that person, I will give him basic respect based on moral cultivation, otherwise I will see you in the “life blacklist”.
What I need is not “friends” and “connections”, but “comrades”—
Those who are in harmony do not regard mountains and seas as far away; those who are obedient, do not regard mountains and seas as close.
Ge Hong’s ” Bao Puzi Bo Yu “
Modern people mainly use instant messaging apps like WeChat to keep in touch with others, but for someone like me who doesn’t want to make friends and build connections, are they of any use? Other than talking to family members and discussing with others, it seems really useless!
Then why did I always think that WeChat is very magical before, and I always wanted to open up a circle of friends, and then see if anyone likes and comments? I must have some kind of mental defect!
Although I still always post on Moments, my mentality is different. It is no longer a boring mentality such as seeking approval. Instead, I simply share my thoughts at that moment and use it as a record of daily events. , doesn’t matter.
Some time ago, I always posted my personal views on certain phenomena in my circle of friends, mainly criticizing them. My family thought it was bad and told me not to post them. Even my wife thinks that I always post what I have and what I don’t. Exposing myself to others too much will be detrimental to me. I asked her back, “How do you know what I posted wasn’t intended for others to see?”
The content posted in my circle of friends is the real me, not the “personality” I created; it’s also true that I deliberately let others see it, just to play the role of a sieve – if you like me, please comment more, Communication, those who hate me quickly block me, it is best to let me know before blocking, so that I can be added to the WeChat blacklist and the “life blacklist” at the same time.
In addition, if anyone wants to put me at a disadvantage through the amount of information in the Moments, is it thinking too much? Even the parents who gave birth to me and raised me and the wife who shared my bed day and night didn’t know much about me.
Still, my family was right to tell me not to post my opinions on Moments — Moments are not a good place to express opinions. Although I don’t care whether other people comment or not when I post on Moments, I still hope that when I post my personal opinions, there will be interactive discussions. There will be almost no comments in Moments, or Zhihu and other places are more suitable for expressing positions and discussing.
Because the Moments I post now are records of daily events, and the ideas in Moments are generally worthless a few hours after they are posted, so I basically clean up the Moments that lose their value once a week.
Since I don’t really want to waste time on social software, the frequency of opening WeChat is much lower than before, as are other commonly used applications with social functions in the past, and even uninstalled some applications or closed several functions before, such as: Facebook, LINE, Maimai, Ant Forest, Ant Manor, etc.
sports
As an office worker, most people exercise a lot of brains, but very little of their bodies.
One is that there is no special time for exercising. The work is already busy and the competition is fierce. If you have time, it is better to relax by watching dramas, watching variety shows, playing games, etc., or studying to maintain competitiveness; Make time for exercise. I don’t like exercise very much, and I don’t think that if I don’t exercise, I will die. Why should I spend money on a fitness card that I can’t use several times a year? Why make a workout plan that you give up after a few days?
I have been thinking about this for a long time, but due to the relatively humanized working hours of my current company, and the principle of dividing my daily time was clarified in the year -end summary of the previous year, and now I understand more than before that sports have an impact on me. The importance and necessity of leaving some exercise time out.
If you really want to exercise, it should penetrate into your daily life. I exercise to stay fit, not get in shape, so I don’t go to the gym.
At present, I use the way of walking to exercise during working days. I go up and down the stairs in the company and take the stairs as much as possible instead of taking the elevator. It not only exercises my body, but also effectively uses the time originally used to wait for the elevator; I walk alone at noon. Go to a place to eat a little distance, and then walk back after eating, the body can use the brain to think about problems while exercising.
The following is a common route, a total of about 3 kilometers back and forth –
walking route
On weekends, I will do appropriate exercise on days when I am not working. If you choose to go outdoors, go hiking or go somewhere else; if you are indoors, you can play Ring Fit Adventure or Just Dance 2020 .
Lao Ren really broke our hearts for us otakus. In addition to making those games of conventional significance, he also developed a game like “Fitness Ring Adventure” to save our health… I have to give a thumbs up! 
My wife pays close attention to my health all the time. Knowing that I am not very fond of sports but love to play games, I bought “Ring Fitness Adventure” for me on Programmer’s Day the year before last. It was the first time I opened it up after four months, but… I love you! 
study
People need knowledge in order to survive and live, and to survive and live better, they need more knowledge; especially those of us who are mental workers, if we do not constantly learn new knowledge and combine with existing knowledge to form a better knowledge. A perfect system will be gradually eliminated by work and society – sailing against the current, if you don’t advance, you will retreat.
However, people who are working do not have as much time to study as students, especially those with a significant other, who have children, have less time. Not just time, but energy.
Knowledge is unlimited, and life, or time and energy, is limited. It is very important to choose an appropriate way to learn knowledge that is truly useful to you.
The four subjects I thought were the most worthwhile to study were Philosophy, Mathematics, Physics and Computer Science, and all of them had to add the modifier “pure”, meaning they focused on theoretical research rather than practical application – This is from the perspective of allowing oneself to understand the world better. If it is from the perspective of real-life problems, it should be a human-centered discipline such as economics and psychology.
“The most worthwhile to learn” is not “just to learn”, but to give priority to the ones mentioned, and to diverge and learn the others based on them.
There are many ways to learn, such as attending classes, reading books or articles, watching videos, etc. Since I also have a lot to do outside of work hours, I prefer inclusive learning, which allows for more efficient use of time by allowing me to study while commuting or walking.
Generally speaking, when reading books or articles and watching videos in a fixed place, the brain is active, but the limbs are idle; when driving, walking, the limbs are active, but the brain is idle – is there a How about a way of learning that activates the brain while moving the limbs? Have! Listen to the book is!
I knew the way of listening to books before, but I didn’t pay attention to it until I really wanted to expand my knowledge and was forced to read books because I didn’t have much time. I suddenly remembered it and couldn’t help but marvel—“Wonderful! Is it the right way for me?! So I can learn while driving, taking the subway, and walking!”
You can also choose to read books on the subway, but the effect is not very good. First, the one-way commute time is short, only about half an hour. It is a slightly obscure book like “Theory of Tools”, which is slower to read; second, most of the time when taking the subway, there are no seats, and the environment is noisy and people are coming and going, it is easy to be distracted.
If you are listening to a book, the sound in the headphones will resist the noise of the outside world. Closing your eyes can make your heart calmer, and it doesn’t matter whether you are standing or sitting. In addition, driving from home to the vicinity of the subway station, from entering the station to leaving the station, and then from the subway station to the office, the study on the way can be almost uninterrupted.
If you arrive at the company in the morning or return to the company earlier after lunch, you can read books or articles for about an hour after sitting down.
work
I have two very different styles of doing things – either unplanned, freewheeling, and adaptable; if there is a plan, follow it strictly and see results. I never like to have my plans disrupted, it makes me restless.
Let me briefly talk about the planning in my daily work-
Human brain capacity is limited, and memory will decline due to unhealthy lifestyle, aging, etc.; in addition, memory will slowly fade over time. For these reasons, it is necessary to keep the brain from deliberately remembering relatively unimportant things and keep a daily record.
Make good use of reminder and calendar applications to record temporary and periodic to-do items – reminder applications for yourself and your family, and calendar applications for things involving outsiders.
Some people may be confused about how to distinguish the use of reminder and calendar applications. For me, reminder applications are used for relatively casual and flexible things, that is to say, you can choose to advance, postpone or cancel the execution according to the actual situation. Family matters generally fall into this category; while calendar apps are used for relatively serious and fixed matters, appointments with others or work matters that will not be rescheduled or canceled unless special circumstances occur, and usually belong to this category.
Success is not achieved overnight or overnight. To do well and accomplish something requires planning and planning in advance, so “life OKR” is very important——
First of all, there must be life goals, which are divided into ten-year goals, five-year goals, annual goals and quarterly goals; each level of goals is decomposed into several key results, except that the quarterly key results will become the reference for the next level of goals. Key results will become more subdivided tasks implemented into each day.
Life OKRs and work OKRs/KPIs should preferably overlap, so that you can do more with less and better improve completion and quality.
Daily events should be recorded and reviewed on a weekly or monthly basis.
Olay’s thoughts
From April 2016, I slowly got into the habit of recording work content through Google Sheets every day – setting goals for the next quarter at the end of each quarter or the beginning of the next quarter, which are usually related to KPIs; every weekend or next Make plans for the next week at the beginning of the week; think about what to do on the day when you get off work on the previous working day or go to work that day, and write down the progress and experience of the day when you get off work.
work record
In addition to recording what I have to do every day on Google Sheets, I will also create corresponding tasks on Teambition to better push myself – I feel guilty when I see a task overdue; when the task is completed, There is a sense of relief and a sense of accomplishment.
Since I started practicing “OKRs in life”, I have “upgraded” the habits and methods of recording work before –
Not only to record things at work, but also to record other personal daily events, so Google Sheets and Teambition will each have one more content to be recorded. The part of Google Sheets is called “Ole’s Event Book”.
“Ole’s Event Book” has been expanded on the basis of work records – “Quarterly Goals” not only include quarterly OKRs, but also split monthly OKRs; “Weekly Plan” is to split monthly OKRs The result after; the work week is the work week, and here is the natural week; the daily record clearly distinguishes the remaining problems from the feelings.
Orley’s Event Book
Regardless of whether the company has a requirement to write a weekly report, I myself have to write a personal weekly report, the main content of which is the progress of the “OKRs in life” during the week and the thinking triggered by daily events.
Finally, there are quarterly and annual summaries. I haven’t written a quarterly summary yet, and I don’t know how to write it yet, but it should be similar to a weekly report and an annual summary.
Epilogue
A person should pay more attention to his own heart and all things in the world, not others, even if he pays attention to others, it is to achieve himself in the end.
This article is reprinted from: https://ourai.ws/posts/talking-about-self-discipline/
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