Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/07/19/6378/
△ 200｜Two hundred days
The order of the articles is written to “200”, which means that this round of “500-day writing plan” has been completed to the 200th day. Compared with 500 days, 200 days is a node that is not embarrassing or embarrassing. The end of 500 days is still far away, but the starting point of departure has also disappeared from view. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to get lost here. After all, the process is more interesting than the result. It’s not just a “chicken soup literature” used to paralyze oneself. In fact, it has such a magic power in itself.
Two hundred days of continuous writing, at a node that is neither embarrassing nor embarrassing.
I started the 500-day writing plan in a whimsical way at the end of March this year (2016). Originally, I just planned to test how long my enthusiasm for writing can be maintained, but also to see when I can exhaust myself. I have always been a self-righteous “writing talent”. When I wrote 100, I was reminded to find a way to get rid of my “seemingly hard life”; when I wrote 200, I realized that when I was free from the shackles Perhaps there are more boundaries that cannot be touched; when I write 300, I find that writing is like a dry well built by me. In the story, I let hunters hide in it, and outside the story I let myself Hiding inside; by the time I reach 400, the dry well is destroyed, and the hunter must start a new escape; by the time I reach 500, writing has become a part of my life, and any point of inspiration can become a reality or It is the source of the illusory world. I began to gradually fall in love with this feeling of making myself wonder whether I will use reality or hypocrisy to describe in the next second; writing 600, only a short 200 days, maybe not. It can’t be called persistence, but when I found that my writing had accumulated more than 500,000 words, I realized that I had no way to map how far my writing boundaries were, even if it was a repeated argument , just like Jenga mentioned before, at the next node I’ll have new ideas, or exile them to a fictional world to start the lives they’re supposed to start.
When I wrote 600, I used Zhihu to see the opinions of some people who are still insisting on writing. Although there are different opinions, they do have a common argument – happiness. But for me, writing is a mixed feeling of happiness and pain , because I regard it as an important part of my schedule, so when I have no inspiration, I have to force myself to face my depleted inspiration, from the pain Grasp the inspiration of the moment; and when the inspiration is overwhelming, I have to suppress my escaped thinking, and say that those inspirations that should not belong to today are recorded and re-processed until the period of writing should be started again – I said This feeling is called “self-domestication”.
“When you have lost everything and you are at the lowest point in your life, do you want to die in the past?”
“Is there another self who is watching the pain and embarrassment on the sidelines? Anyone will have another self who looks at themselves objectively.”
“Faced with the self who is so painful that you want to die, there will be another self who thinks that this painful experience can be made into a novel theme, the other you who finds the unfortunate low point very interesting.”
——The last 500 days of writing “∞” 600｜200 days
Ashamed to say, when I wrote the last five hundred days, there were many “strange” attempts, and they were all extremely irresponsible attempts, so there was always the content of digging holes (although “Duck” now belongs to state of digging). The 500 days of writing started this year, obviously I feel that time is not as rich as before. I used to be able to ignore the silence around me and sit in front of the computer for a while. In the past, I would be full of negative emotions about this “disruption of the plan”, because at that time, I regarded writing as one of the ways I used to escape from real life, so I used writing as an excuse. Completely shutting down from the outside world – obviously, it’s impossible to be so naive right now, and I don’t want to disconnect myself from the outside world.
The essence of writing is not “imagination”, it was only figured out after the last five hundred days of writing, and it took nearly three years to figure it out. Although it is a bit dull, I finally realized that writing is not about writing. “Imagination” is just a means of processing, and it basically requires a person’s experience and the ability to reprocess emotions.
I originally wanted to go to Zhihu to answer the question “What is it like to persist in writing” after the last 500 days of writing, but at that time I was not suitable to answer that question – and now when I can answer this question, For me, this question is no longer a self-questioning self-answer that requires self-expression to gain self-identity.
In this five-hundred-day writing, I prefer to return to the experience of reality – writing the real as a fake, and falsifying the fake as if it were my own experience. Many people will fall into a vicious circle of writing, that is, whether writing should be based on “reality”. In fact, this question has been “black and white” by too many people, which makes people feel that it is impossible for those fabricated stories to have real emotions, and those fictional bridges must be the author’s personal experience in the past. – It’s just that people are fooled by the “imagination”, and they will fit the formula of truth and falsehood into other people’s experiences, because after all, they can’t have those things worth remembering in this life. experience.
In order to avoid digging holes, I am still planning a complete novel besides the blog – this is probably the biggest difference between the two insisting on writing. The last 500-day writing was more like a game of venting emotions at will. It does not require form, results or reasons, but only needs to vent the most real emotions in the current text; and this time, the 500-day writing, Emotions are no longer the primary guiding criterion, but rather statements and metamorphoses of experience.
Although “Non-Public Dreamland” has been written, a new version will be revised, and the originally planned content will be filled back into the novel that was rushed to work; “If You Are Free After I Die” has always been a scattered record of inspiration ‘s novels, because they want to adopt the “script mode”, each chapter is a complete short story, so these small stories exist, but they need a behind-the-scenes initiator to connect them by accident; “Duck” “In fact, it was written, and the notepad had already planned that the proprietress took the corpse of “Duck” and embarked on a life of escape.
They have become a carrier that can no longer hold current emotions, and become a script that requires me to switch roles at any time. Different people’s experiences are staged at any time – and whether these experiences come from my real life, this is the way of writing. The greatest joy in hiding.
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