Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/06/12/6201/
△ 163｜ People who are always worried that the other party will cheat because they have cheated
This title is not what I said, but a kind of “theory” that everyone is reluctant to explain but well-known in the emotional world. To put it simply, those who do not trust each other in the emotional world are actually because they know the “rules of the game”, so they are suspicious of each other’s signs, easy to catch wind, and even impose strict restrictions on each other’s whereabouts. .
This statement itself will actually provoke a lot of people, because this kind of view is similar to the “victim guilt theory”, one party is already the victim of the other party’s derailment, why should there be a series of moral evaluations on the victim? Obviously, for many people, even if this kind of judgment really exists, it is still an immovable “mind”, because the victim must maintain that pure and flawless sanctity.
However, this sentence itself has many points worth pondering deeply-why one person has all kinds of suspicions about the other half, and can even find various “possibilities” and inferences from the other party’s clues. This is like a math problem, the conditions are the same for everyone, but only those who know the formula can know what conclusions can be drawn from these conditions. In other words, at least the person involved in the calculation knows what the formula is. As for how to know this formula, there are many possibilities, and in this possibility, there will inevitably be suspicion of tying the victim to the “criminal” rack.
This is like the parents who peeked at my diary. They want to know what I’m going through and what I’m thinking. But the way the evidence is obtained is very problematic. If they want to give an example , or to correct my mistakes at this moment, they have to expose the “absurdity” of their evidence collection methods, otherwise, they will not be able to convince me, who has pleaded not guilty.
As for the title, it is obvious that the “victim” is first placed in the role of “a former criminal”. It is because they have experienced it that they know that those clues that cannot be hidden are actually because they used to be very careful. and mindful. Of course, this is also a matter of “death without proof”. It is impossible for us to question a victim, how he doubted his other half, and the Chinese also pay attention to a “dead is great”, for the victim whose heart has died As far as people are concerned, it is somewhat disrespectful to the “dead” if we go to find out whether they have learned the lessons they have today because of the same thing in the past.
In criminal procedure law, there is a paradox similar to “induction”. It’s like I was called to the office, and the teacher wanted me to confess my guilt and serve the law, so the first sentence I said was: “Whoever has confessed, and said that this matter was done together by you, what do you want to say now?” Any classmates who are a little bit less mentally minded will definitely confess to the truth. But “old fritters” like me obviously know that this is a means of “inducing confessions”, so I will ask the teacher, who admits it, I want to see if the real mastermind behind the scenes has admitted it – in fact, the mastermind behind the scenes It’s me, if the teacher shows a little impatience and resistance, it means that she doesn’t know the facts behind the incident at all, let alone whether someone “admitted” it.
So why, when I was an adult, I used similar means to use it on others, because I knew what the “formula” was, and of course I knew who to use it on, what method to use, and finally What conclusion to draw.
In fact, admitting this kind of thing generously will not have any evil consequences. At most, those who have ghosts in their hearts will think that I am a person with dirty methods. Maybe they have used the same method before in their heads. superior. But the affair is even more unclear – if I were the one being questioned, I would definitely ask: How did you know?
The more a person who has planned his cheating plan perfectly, the more he understands that when they are exposed, the mastermind behind them is very powerful. Unless they are caught, they will definitely not admit it, or even have Various contingency plans. If they are really caught, then there will be a feeling of being a master, and the fun of being alone in pursuit of defeat and meeting a master may only be understood by the person who cheated – of course he will want to ask the other party, what is he How did he know that he had cheated, from which detail, from the evidence that he had clearly hidden but forgot.
When I traveled to Japan with my wife, I stayed in an interesting love hotel. Its meticulousness is not only the unmanned front desk, but even the shampoo and body wash that have arrived in the shower room are divided into scented and completely odorless, and the dressing table is also prepared. All kinds of small things that “if you can imagine with the most ingenious plot setting, you may expose your derailment” – such as sewing boxes. When I saw it, the first novel plot that came to my mind was when a man was having sex with a woman orgasm, the woman was jealous of the man’s original marriage and couldn’t take her as the righteous lover, so she deliberately cast him The third button of the shirt was torn off at the moment of the fake orgasm, like a poisonous tongue leaving teeth marks…
People who first thought that “these things” would work, what “formulas” did they use to think of this so intimately? If it is said that it is a middle-aged man who has been derailed all the year round, as a consultant of a love hotel, I think it is quite reasonable. At least as a user, he can start from the most core user needs and help everyone consider and avoid possible ” Evidence of cheating”.
So, here is the problem. I have never been caught by a strange woman on the third button of my shirt, nor have I encountered a hotel in China that provides guests with tasteless toiletries so thoughtfully, so why would I think of it? What about the plot of a erotic novel? Why are those who have found evidence of the other party’s derailment from clues, why are people thinking that they only know the existence of the “formula” because they have cheated?
This may be the fun of people’s suspicion and definition of each other.
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