Original link: https://hin.cool/posts/meng.html

I dreamed that I confessed to you.

Although I know that confession is the icing on the cake, not the horn to launch a charge, but in my dreams, I still become the person who is cautious, but always wants to meet the needle.

This Wednesday afternoon, my mood got really bad, and even knowing the results of the performance review didn’t make me feel any better. After dinner, I hesitated and went upstairs to see you without saying a word or showing any emotion. When I got back, I wrote “Can you smile at me” over and over on the post-it note, each time it didn’t work as well as I wanted, and it didn’t actually get a chance to sit quietly on your desk.

I sat on the edge of the playground, called my dad, and greeted him. By the way, I feel that this year has been particularly bad for me. Seventeen minutes later, the get out of class has not ended, but the night has completely sunk. I plucked up the courage to go up again and saw the three of you in the office, then I backed away, stood outside for a while in silence, and finally left.

I don’t want to express my feelings to you, nor do I have to tell you that hypocritical sentence, because you have always been down-to-earth, and no matter who you talk to, you can see your charming smile. I told Lao Liang, I think your laughter is very healing. But in addition to the sentence written on the post-it note, I still have a lot of things I want to tell you, but I can’t say it every time.

Thinking of an earlier day, when I met you at dinner, I said to you, “I feel good about them, I’m waiting for you to eat together.” They didn’t have the last class that day, so they sat in the office and waited for you get out of class. You smiled happily and said, “That’s right, we are a ‘family that loves each other’.”

You guys are always together, so I never get a chance to talk to you, or even if I do, it doesn’t seem like I can pull up the courage.

Well, just in a dream.

You, me, Mr. Tan, we are walking on the road. I said, “I have something to tell you.” Teacher Tan may have realized something, and then walked quickly to the front. I can’t recall what I said when I confessed to you, but I remember very clearly that when you felt a little bit wrong, you started to apologize, you said sorry, we are really not suitable. You didn’t laugh at that time, which made me feel that my liking for you might be a troublesome thing for you.

Then the camera turned and we sat at a table to eat, as if those words were spoken to you while we were eating, and the result was the same. I was at a loss for a moment, and finally picked up the bowl and chopsticks, bowed and left with a smile.

Before getting into the car, I saw that there was a street sign in the reflection of the sunset. It was not a blue background, but a color that I couldn’t describe. It was surrounded by branches growing from some bushes, and it was vaguely written on it. “Sunset Boulevard”. It turns out that Sunset Boulevard is here! I dug into the bushes on foot and saw a long stone staircase leading to the village. Going down the stone ladder, every step of the way, the sky has a different scenery, from dawn to sunset, as if from dawn to dusk.

I took out my mobile phone and wanted to take a picture of the clouds in the sky that were dense like fish scales and layered on top of each other, but they didn’t look so huge in the camera lens of the mobile phone, but like a film that was printed and pasted in the sky. I adjusted the angle of my phone slightly, and the clouds shook violently, as if they were about to collapse at any moment.

In this way, I slowly walked to dusk. The setting sun on the horizon dyed the clouds red, the surrounding trees began to yawn, and the night had already covered the opposite hill, and I was also trapped in this night before I knew it. My phone started to get out of control, automatically taking many pictures every second, automatically applying various filters, those pictures were not well composed, and the colors became indescribable – I can’t seem to keep it. All good things.

I suddenly remembered that I had dinner that afternoon and saw that the sunset was about to disappear, so I also tried to take a picture of it. Through the gaps in the leaves, that round of sunset and those sunsets were eclipsed in my phone, far less beautiful than what I saw. Later, when you came out, you also took out your mobile phone to take pictures of the sunset without the sunset. He was also behind, holding his mobile phone.

So I think I can’t confess to you, we don’t communicate enough, and I can’t attract your attention. There is no love that arises out of thin air. Since confession cannot be used as a horn to launch a charge, I think I may never have a chance to tell you that I like you.

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