I’m starting to get scared

At the end of 2019 , when a number of WeChat groups spread about the occurrence of unknown pneumonia in Wuhan—I was not afraid, and even dared to transit in Wuhan when I went home—I believed in regular reports, and I did not trust those gossip.

At the beginning of 2020 , when Wuhan was closed down, the company’s business plummeted, and I was laid off a few months later ─ I didn’t worry, even after taking N+1 compensation, I was a little happy and planned to lie down for a few months ─ I believe the epidemic is at best. It will go away in a few months and everything is business as usual.

In 2021 , when the tourism industry is gradually recovering and offline brick-and-mortar stores are reopening – I thought that life was starting to turn around and the time to return to normalcy was finally here.

In the spring of 2022 , when severe epidemics occurred in Shanghai, Jilin, Hebei and other places, and various news of human rights violations were exposed—I felt as if I went back to two years ago, as if nothing had changed.

Today, I saw that even companies are recruiting nucleic acid testing volunteers, and I started to get scared.

Looking back at how ridiculous and naive my idea of ​​”thinking that the epidemic will end in a few months” was as Gao Songfen thought when his house was raided during the Cultural Revolution:

Because they emptied our savings and cash, I didn’t know how to live in the future, so I asked the head of the Red Guards if he could leave us some living expenses. They discussed it, left five hundred yuan, and said, ” Don’t worry, it will be resolved in three months !” At that time, of course, we did not understand the true meaning of “it will be resolved in three months”: it was three months Will the property be returned to us, or will it be officially confiscated after three months? In fact, I don’t think the head who said this would know how reliable his own statement is. However, no matter what he meant, I think at that time, no one in the world would believe that the “unprecedented” Cultural Revolution was not resolved in three months but a full decade !

——Gao Songfen’s “Miscellaneous Memories of Mountain Residence”

This article is reprinted from: https://aaronnick.github.io/posts/i-begin-to-feel-afraid/
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