Listen to “Love More”

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Most of my musical tastes are still in my student days. Driving home from work, I searched for “Wang Rong” on Youtube Music, flipped through the album list, and found my favorite “Love” . When I heard the album’s title track, a feeling of the past came to my mind, it seemed to be the agonizing feeling that a first love that didn’t have any real meaning was about to end or has ended. This album should have accompanied me through many hot nights in high school.

Back then, I used a Panasonic ultra-thin tape player to listen to music. However, I don’t know the specific model, I just remember that it is a light blue metal material, not much thicker than the tape. I still vaguely remember the scene when I had to buy this machine in front of a store in the busiest street in the small county. For my family’s conditions, this machine is considered a luxury. In the end, my mother bought it for me, probably because of their monthly income from farming. However, I didn’t have the money to buy a pair of headphones that matched this machine. I should have bought a copycat Sennheiser for only a few dozen yuan, but I still thought the sound quality was really good at the time.

While listening, I recalled the money wasted at home during those years of study. Before high school, I didn’t feel that my family was very poor, and I didn’t have any desire to consume other than Internet cafes. I don’t remember any consumption in high school, the only thing I remember is this tape machine. After the college entrance examination, before entering the university, the family began to lose money. I bought a Nokia 3230 in the summer vacation after the college entrance examination, and it cost two or three thousand yuan at that time.

After I went to college, I also bought a Dopod 585, Nokia N78, a foreign garbage BlackBerry, etc. As a comparison, my wife used a waveguide mobile phone throughout the university. In fact, the computer could have bought a cheaper notebook or simply a desktop, but in the end I bought the Lenovo Tianyi F40, which cost eight or nine thousand. Eight or nine thousand notebooks are not cheap now after more than ten years, let alone a rural family with an annual income of more than 10,000 yuan? At the same time my wife was using a second hand desktop. In addition, there is the cost of a double degree. I asked for my family’s money (two times), but I didn’t actually go for a double degree. For me, the money came too easily, so I can’t remember the exact amount of money now, I just think that the money should be used to fall in love.

According to the tuition fee of 6,000 yuan/year and the living expenses of 600-800 yuan/month, the income from farming in the countryside can barely cover my annual tuition and living expenses. But I still have these “luxury” wastes, plus the daily expenses of the family, farming alone is not enough. That’s why my mother went out to work, and I was not at home all the year round, and the whole family was even more broken.

Thinking about it this way, I also have a lot of responsibility for the current situation of the family.

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