Original link: https://onojyun.com/2022/07/29/6430/
△ 210｜Memory of the Universe
/ The tide is at the place where the tide is.
/ the tide rises and falls
/ Sun and Taiyin
/ is the oldest mission carried by the sun and the moon
—— “Memory of the Universe” Maaya Sakamoto
Watching a movie about the universe, although it brought back those lonely nightmares about the universe that I had when I was seriously ill last year, but the loneliness and fear were like some kind of “kinetic energy” with unknown meaning, which drove me to continue living. Go down and translate them into imagination and words. I call this sense of loneliness in the universe “the memory of the universe”. Although I have never been to the universe, the moment I was about to die was probably the moment when I was closest to the universe—this may be the final destination of human beings. Later, it turned into a star in the sky, shining light-years away. When people saw him on the earth, it was the light and darkness of a hundred years ago.
The memory of the universe is probably the memory of the birth of mankind. It is the dream that the group of human beings who first sat on Noah’s Ark, weaved together. The moment they arrived at the other side, they were recorded in any possible recording method. Murals, cuneiform characters, fairy tales and fables, and later divination, star dome rules, and those complicated calculation rules. Today, human beings have not given up on pursuing all memories of the universe. They have used technology to create spaceships and telescopes to explore that The original mother, or in the literature, they are still dreaming about Noah’s Ark, looking for a possible other shore.
But this memory of the universe also means death. During the few days I was “wandering” in the universe, it was a dream intertwined with complex emotions, and it was part of a nightmare, because I was looking for a way out of redemption in the dark space, and the out-of-control spaceship used its sharp alarm The sound reminds me that my life will end at a “just right” point – I woke up and realized that the alarm sound of the ship was actually my heart rate monitor, and that was the most straightforward explanation of death. . But it is not a complete nightmare. In the midst of the pain, my body’s “giving up” of life has been translated into preparing for the final “dormancy” in the space capsule. I can freely control the body that has been uncontrolled, Let it get into a position it thinks is comfortable, or it can command its brain to go into a sleep mode that can fall asleep in an instant and be awakened in a split second. Before I went into “hibernation”, I said goodbye to my wife by the bed. It was like saying the last word to the person who wanted to say goodbye the most before the communication device was completely cut off. There are endless words in my heart, but I must In the shortest and most concise sentences, the pain of dying, the decision to leave, the reluctance to part forever, the generosity of death, but the unreasonable insistence on living… all have to be expressed to the sitting My love in bed.
At that time, I couldn’t say anything, my brain recognized all the emotions, but couldn’t form words; my brain imagined the most matching picture for me, but the bizarre streamer made the dream look like encountering those luminous creatures in the deep sea the grand mating ritual; I felt the cold in space, but my body was melted by the heat of Sirius; I wanted to breathe, but felt the alveoli burst one by one under my infinitely enlarged senses; I wanted to live, but my But my brain made me rehearse dramas about farewells; I was about to enter a “sleep” state in the dark space, but the moment I closed my eyes, I saw a dazzling day; I could no longer hear any noise, But I heard the hymn of prayer; I repented, but I couldn’t control my breathing and heartbeat; I wanted to stop the “dormancy” agreement, but the death contract did not write any punishment for breaching… – Then, I I couldn’t wake up from the perpetual sleep of that day, until the next morning, I woke up from a nightmare, covered in sweat as if I had recovered my body temperature after a mechanical overload, and stared at the sun on the wall. , I have for a long time, I don’t know if I am in an endless nightmare, and I have entered the next long dream that I can never wake up from again.
This strange near-death experience, I have never been able to translate it, because I dare not recall the oppression caused by this nightmare again. In the five hundred days of writing, I also seem to have tried to dismantle the details of this near-death experience, but it seems to be just an instinctive fear, such as “Sixth Star” , which is about death in another sense The ending; or “Timed Death” , which is the most intuitive “sequelae” of this near-death experience; or “Stream of Consciousness and Words” , which is a program bug in which the body appears in this near-death experience experience.
I have been looking for a “just right” node to retell these experiences of death as a “singularity” from which an infinite universe can burst.
I tried to find people who also had a “near-death experience” on the Internet. Did they also see a dream about the universe, just like the most primitive memory that humans brought to this world when they first came to this world. Those who are lucky enough to survive, do they still remember these long dreams about the universe? Do they, like me, are about to be extinguished by their fate – about to become a star that disappeared hundreds of years ago, collapsed into a white dwarf, When compressed into a black hole, it was like encountering the gravity of a huge nebula, which changed its original orbit and was biased towards another destiny’s orbit – and then survived, regained the understanding of destiny, and put the unexpressed The love and hatred of the man are vented, and then a life that seems to continue but seems to be completely different begins anew.
This is probably why I tried so hard to translate this near-death experience. Maybe there is another person in the world who has also experienced death and will find that the original memory about the universe is not a nightmare, but a profound The deepest memories on both ends of life and death, the secrets we come from the universe, and the fate that ultimately belongs to the countless time and space of the universe.
It is abstract and obscure, yet figurative and romantic.
/ そ う, the world is the original flash of the world
/ Yes, human beings still have the original sparkle
/ だれもが語すたび覚えてはforget れているの
/ When talking to people, remember and forget
/ love し て は resentment ん だ り, ま た sick ん で は healed
/ Love and resentment, hurt and heal
/ you are living like this
——”Memory of the Universe” Maaya Sakamoto
PS The reason why I was able to successfully “translate” the near-death experience is because I watched “Lone on the Moon” last night, and I recommend everyone to watch it. All works of art about the universe can be romantic to death without needing to be logically self-consistent.
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