Should loyalty be judged by looking at someone’s phone?

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△ 216|Should we judge loyalty by checking the other party’s mobile phone?

Politics is nothing to talk about, it’s just a “draft show” , let’s talk about feelings today. It happened that such a case happened around me, so I disguised it as a story and told it—of course, maybe the story I wrote was made up, but I found a real reason.

The case itself still revolves around “Should we judge loyalty by checking the other party’s mobile phone” . I actually mentioned this in “Doubt Management System II” . Even now, there are APPs similar to “Love Coordinates” that are used to determine the location of the other party’s mobile phone. But now I see this type of advertisement, and I have changed the rhetoric, it is to protect children, to determine where my children are at the moment, etc. Interestingly, this type of fraudulent APP targeting mobile phones, from the very beginning, emphasized the loyalty of love, and the people it faced were men and women who were in love. After a few years, it was still the same APP, but the advertisements became aimed at children. “Monitoring” – Does it mean that people who can be hit by these apps have entered the palace of marriage from love, and now they have their own children, and as a result, they still need to use monitoring to satisfy their feelings and family affection control.

Before long, the advertising logic of this app will probably become people’s “positioning” of their elderly parents who may have Alzheimer’s disease. It can be said that from love to people to middle age, all needs can be covered by this APP – if possible, they should also design a post-mortem location, such as where the person died, and how to find them. corpse.

There is a seemingly logical error in the core of whether to check the other party’s mobile phone and search for possible secrets, but it seems to be the only point that the two sides can quarrel about at the moment – “I don’t look at your mobile phone, you Don’t you cheat?” Or “If I looked at your phone, wouldn’t you cheat?” Obviously, there is no causal relationship between these two things, but this is the only thing between the two at the moment. Any reason to quarrel. Because the fact of cheating has already happened, and the fact of peeking at each other’s mobile phone has also happened, and both of them seem to be “wrong”, so it is necessary to score which of these two things is more outrageous, or the cause and effect of the mistake. .

We have to take this trivial thing up a notch. Instead of discussing “Should we judge loyalty by checking the other party’s mobile phone”, we should discuss “Should people keep certain secrets”. The word “secret” itself is very ambiguous. Although it is a neutral word, it will have an essential change in the part of speech due to the difference of the subject. If it is your own secrets, then these secrets are positive and are not allowed to be violated by others; but if this secret is held by the other party, it must point to those dark and ugly negative contents.

There are two kinds of “secrets” in the mobile phone, one is isolated in the mobile phone and does not want to be seen by the outside world; the other is isolated in reality and does not want to be announced to other people in the virtual social space through the mobile phone channel. To put it simply, it is “the pornographic film saved in the mobile phone” and “the person who is married but has to pretend to be single and continue to flirt with others on social networks”. If you split the secret into this, which one do you think is more “emotionally hurtful”?

Some time ago, a Taiwanese community conducted a survey (I wanted to find out if the mainland has done a similar survey, maybe there is, but in this society where condom advertisements are not allowed to appear in pre-screening advertisements, I think even if there is such a survey It has also become “the video cannot be viewed according to the relevant policy”), this survey asked 100 young people “whether they mind the other half’s mobile phone has pornography” – the result is that more than 70% of the people do not allow the other party and themselves Watch porn while in a relationship. Then there is the second question, “Whether you will save pornographic films in your mobile phone” – as a result, more than 80% of the people admit that they have saved pornographic films in their mobile phones.

There is a problem here. Since the other party’s mobile phone is not allowed to keep “secrets”, but oneself will keep “secrets” in the mobile phone that are not allowed to be detected by the other party, then this kind of unequal relationship always needs a “secret”. “Contract” to constrain, otherwise, the relationship will become a game of judging. Therefore, the investigator asked the third question, “Do you want to check the other party’s mobile phone to confirm that there are pornographic films in it?” – 80% of people want to be able to check the other party’s mobile phone, which can be used to “prove” the other party’s “loyalty” to them; But on the other hand, “whether to allow the other party to check their mobile phone” – as expected, 90% of people do not allow it. At the end of the investigation, needless to say the conclusion, these young men and women surveyed felt a little embarrassed. They were more like the founders of an unequal treaty, but the purpose they kept preaching was to maintain the equality of both parties.

Another “secret” is more fun. To establish another identity on the Internet, completely isolated from reality. Maintaining another identity in a virtual social network is not an “original sin”. I believe that many people have an online social image that needs to be maintained. It’s just that when the virtual image and the real image are more clearly differentiated and separated, the more “secrets” will be generated in the gap. Conversely, the more demands that cannot be obtained in reality, the more gaps there will be with the virtual world, so the virtual world will hide more “secrets”. I have seen many people who still need to keep a “single” personality on the Internet in their romantic relationships or after marriage. They obtain the attention of others and the satisfaction of their desires through the process of flirting to make up for the stimulation that cannot be obtained in reality. and satisfied.

Of course, there is a lot of complicated “logic” in this, for example: some people will make a certain compromise in their “virtual personality” – tell the other party that they are not single. However, the object of flirting still shows his love for him, and such a virtual relationship will increase his confidence and conscious charm at that time. At the same time, they will make a reasonable explanation for their own compromise – this is a kind of “love” for their current object, thereby offsetting their guilt for flirting with others. This kind of “logic” will be further analyzed later.

It’s time to make up your mind here, should you judge loyalty by checking the other party’s mobile phone? Obviously, the discussion about this matter should not be “Should it”, but “Would you like it”, because there is no right or wrong in this matter, you see it or not, if the other party has cheated, you see There is no causal relationship between not looking at the phone and whether he still maintains his loyalty.

And setting the threshold of “checking the mobile phone to determine loyalty” is like setting an alarm system at the toilet door of an office building to “scan whether A-film is stored in the mobile phone of the toilet employee”. Using this method To prevent employees from going to the toilet for long periods of paid masturbation during work – do you think this group of employees will be willing to delete the “secrets” in their mobile phones to go to the toilet, or will everyone default to shitting and urinating at the corner of the corridor?

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