stay up

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The moonlight has been shining into my room for several nights in a row, at one or two in the morning.

Probably because of the heat, I tend to close the curtains during the day and open them at night. Sometimes the moon will slowly climb up from the other side of the mountain, and it will not be long before it hangs in the air. Sometimes it doesn’t pass by my window, it doesn’t accompany me all the time, but it is always accompanied by others.

This is the nth night I have stayed up since the summer vacation, and n is definitely greater than ten. When the summer vacation just started, I once went to bed at one or two in the morning and woke up at eight or nine in the morning. I was either woken up by the sound of the decoration downstairs, or I felt the hot sun suffocating when I was exposed to the sun at seven or eight. .

I thought I got rid of my bad habit of staying up late – if one or two o’clock doesn’t count as staying up late. According to past experience, I spend one or two overnights every summer vacation. It doesn’t necessarily mean that I have something to do or games to play. It’s just that I feel very sleepy, but when I close my eyes, there will be countless things in my mind. The picture flashed by, and those memories that were inadvertently awakened dragged me down, as if I was in a swamp. The more I struggled, the more I would sink.

So I picked up my phone again, or went to the refrigerator to get a can of cold drinks, and turned on the computer. At five or six o’clock when the sky was red, I knew that a new day had begun. A family on the opposite building turned on the lights, and it was estimated that they had to go to the morning shift or go away. I lay down on the bay window, staring at the sky as the light slowly became brighter and more vivid, and then took a photo or two that later seemed to be far from the real thing.

If I am still not sleepy at seven o’clock, I will probably cook a few quick-frozen dumplings, go to bed after eating, and wake up at three or four in the afternoon.

I have to say, I enjoy staying up all night, but I absolutely hate waking up in the afternoon. Because that would make me feel that the day was too short, as if I had just watched the morning glow, and in a blink of an eye, the sky was full of sunset, and I didn’t know anything about what happened to others, as if I lost touch with the world.

This year’s all-nighter is a bit unusual. The first night because of the nucleic acid of all the staff, they went home to wash up after midnight. Probably shouldn’t have grabbed a can of carbonated beverages from the fridge and poured it down on a TV show to pass the time. It was past three in the morning when I watched the TV series, and it was also three in the morning when I wrote these things. Later, when I failed to fall asleep, I gave up on myself and simply stayed up until I could fall asleep regardless of the time.

Soon it was dawn, no one was on the phone with me, and I couldn’t try to describe the sky like an ink painting before it was dyed red by the rising sun as I was last year. I opened the window and pretended to enjoy it for a while, I felt sleepy and went to sleep.

When I woke up that day, I still felt guilty, consciously or not, feeling that I was overdrafting my health, wasting my time, doing a bunch of pointless things, or actually doing nothing.

But I won’t sigh “I mourn for a moment in my life, and I envy the infinity of the Yangtze River”, nor will I be so romantic as “to travel with flying immortals, hug the bright moon and end up forever”. My feelings about life, whether positive or negative, have not been able to become the main theme of my life. I only occasionally marvel at the sunrise, sunset, moonlight and all other beautiful things outside the window. When I stood in front of the window and admired them, the little happiness that flashed in my heart was actually the same as “The Unbearable Lightness of Life” The two lines of tears shed by the Senator are as Kitsch.

As I wrote this, my left eye felt a tingling sensation, and the moon was no longer visible outside the window. It must have been passing someone else’s window.

Appreciating the beauty that does not belong to you and being moved by it is actually a meaningless thing. This is how I currently waste my life.

Ps This is what I wrote on my mobile phone in the early morning of the 21st. I went to a forest farm after lunch on the 21st. It was relatively cooler there. I saw wild flowers that were not quite beautiful, and I remembered that I was still in college. When I was out with friends from the information group, I took the flower. I was surprised that the macro effect I took after turning on HDR was roughly comparable to that of a DSLR. I planned to send it out on the evening of the 21st, but the computer could not be turned on due to a sudden power outage. With the help of a friend and some tests, it can be turned on after discharging the button battery on the motherboard. Now listening to Mew’s music, I just finished drinking a can Carbonated drinks, very windy outside tonight, no moon.

Wildflowers seen in the forest

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